Just Stop Talking

In any relationship there are going to be disagreements and arguments. But there are some people who argue all the time. Do you live with someone who likes drama? Are you a person who likes to keep something going? Do you find yourself fighting before you know it? Has arguing become a habit or a part of who you are?

In Proverbs it says that it is better to live on the corner of the housetop than inside a wide house with a brawling woman. It says it is better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious (controversial, arguing) and angry woman. No one wants to be in a house with an arguing man either.

Proverbs 26:21 says as coals are to burning coals, and wood to fire; so is a contentious man to kindle strife (conflict, trouble, fighting).

There are many reasons someone will start and argument:

1. To provoke you to argue, which is a form of control.
2. An excuse to get away and do what they want to do or drive you away.
3. To cover their insecurities
4. Habit
5. To lower self esteem.

Some people are going to fight about everything. It is what they do, it is who they are. If you are NOT a person who likes to argue and you are in a relationship with someone who does, if you allow them to force you into an argument then you are allowing them to control you.

Proverbs 5:1 says a soft answer turns away anger, but grievous (cruel, harsh, severe) words stir up anger. Have you heard the saying that only a fool will argue by themselves. If you keep talking, it is like adding wood to the fire. But if you just stop talking and they keep talking, then you know they are fools. They are arguing by themselves. Don't say it, just think it to yourself.

If you have gotten in the habit of arguing, then it will take practice to stop. Let the other person say whatever they are going to say for as long as you can take it. You may not have to say anything because eventually they should stop talking. If it is a discussion you have had before do not try to defend or give your point of view because that is how you buy in to the discussion/argument.

You are probably thinking there are some things that must be discussed and you are right, but try to put those off while forming a new habit of not arguing every time you have a discussion.

Set boundaries, do not allow another person to take you places in the discussion you do not want to go. Shut Up, be quiet, and just stop talking.

In the book of James it says the tongue is a fire that can defile the whole body and can set on fire the course of nature, an unruly evil. It says we control horses with bits in their mouths and control large ships with a small wheel, but cannot control our tongues.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue. My suggestion and advice, Speak Life!