Keeping The Friendship With An Ex

If you and your ex are still friends even after breaking up, then that's a good thing. Very few people are capable of doing this and friendship is always something worth maintaining.

However, the past relationship might not make your current friendship the same with your other friends. Following are some of the situations when staying friends with an ex can be bad for you.

Truth be told, people usually opt staying friends with an ex simply because there are still feelings and you want to remain part of their lives. This may be hard as you will realize that there are some things you are no longer allowed to know.

You will feel some resentment if they don't call you often and you will need to accept that this just doesn't apply with the two of you anymore. If this is how you think then perhaps you have to re-program your mindset because you will only hurt yourself in the long run. Staying friend with an ex would only suffocate them if you still have feelings for them. For example, they can now start doing something you never allowed them to before like going bar hopping. Right now, you can't do this anymore as you have no right to predict their lifestyle and once you feel that you're not OK with this, chances are you're not OK to be just friends with them and your ex will see that. If you continue with this then chances are you will really lose them. Being friends is OK for people who were once in a relationship but only if both are still single. It becomes complicated if one or both of you have new partners. Being close to your ex would make a new partner threatened of the relationship no matter how secure they are. There's also a chance that your ex would feel and because now you have to divide your attention to both of them. As long as you don't sacrifice your own happiness then being friend with an ex is OK.

When staying friends with an ex, the challenge here is to enforce boundaries about what's allowed and what are not. If your new partner doesn't like you and your ex to still be sweet with each other then you will have to take a step back and follow your current partner's wishes. Also, it can be difficult to divide the time between the two. There's a chance that your new partner would feel suspicious about the time you spend with your ex especially if the trust between you isn't developed yet. Have a serious talk with your ex. Being friends doesn't mean you have to be with each other at all times but instead simply having good rapport with each other. Staying friends with an ex is well and good as long as most of your focus is on your new partner.