Know Your Dreams And Aspirations

Excerpted from The Midlife Woman; Reinventing Yourself in your Second Adulthoodnn“If you want something you’ve never had, you have to do something you’ve never done. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.”

The first time that I heard this expression was at a very moving church service. It so inspired me that I wrote it on a paper and taped it on my bathroom mirror to read every day. Although you can apply these motivating words to any crossroad in your life, applying them to a midlife career change takes on an exciting dream/reality meaning.

Changing or beginning a career at midlife is very different from when we were younger. Most of us devoted the majority of our time in our twenties and thirties pleasing others, whether it was family, in our career or both. We compromised our work/life choices to support whatever the immediate needs were at the time. Unfortunately, most of us have ended up suppressing our own personal dreams and aspirations for the greater good and the daily grind.

Lauren was a single parent raising a son and had been on her own since her son was a toddler. She worked at any job she could to make ends meet when her son was young. She landed a position as an instructional assistant for special needs children at a local school and worked there for twenty-five years. Her profession was very stressful and sometimes dangerous, rendering a paycheck that was just enough for her to get by. She lived modestly and was an expert in managing her funds her entire working life (the kind of woman that could manage just fine without the bells and whistles), had all of her financial ducks in a row and decided that she would retire from her job at age 55.

Lauren’s vision for what she wanted to accomplish in her second adulthood hit her square in the face when she was watching the devastation of hurricane Katrina on television. It pained her to see the amount of people left homeless, losing everything and trying desperately to start their lives over. It made her realize there were many people in her own area equally in need. She began calling local soup kitchens to better understand the needs and wants of the homeless in her area. She started a nonprofit ministry named after her grandchildren to help fulfill the needs of the homeless and/or those trying to transition back into a better and more productive quality of life. She fills gift bags with personal hygiene, toiletry and feel-good items, along with hats she crochets. Each bag also includes a Bible. Basically, anything that will hopefully regain pride and self esteem to the recipient is part of the package. Lauren was finally afforded the opportunity to reinvent herself in her second adulthood by helping others and asking for nothing in return. Her compensation for all of her hard work was the knowledge that she was serving those who were less fortunate.

“As we reinvent ourselves we search for the right “brand” that will define us in a new life and career. In the past we may have defined ourselves by our relationships, like “wife, mother, supporter,” “manager,” or “computer programmer,” or our many accomplishments. Midlife is the time to envision what is possible and go for it in a new and fearless way.”
Dr. Karen Otazo- Author of THE TRUTH ABOUT MANAGING YOUR CAREER and also THE TRUTH ABOUT BEING A LEADER

Midlife is a time when the focus is not so much on power and success, but on realizing your mortality and fulfilling a lifelong dream. This is a time where you can shed the pressures “By now I should be married,” “I want to be rich and have a big house,” and enter into “What’s really important to me now” and “I want to love what I do for as long as I’m able.” Just because you have been a successful CEO for the past fifteen years doesn’t mean that it is something you love and have a passion to continue. Maybe you have always loved animals and want to open a pet shop or use the wisdom and knowledge you have developed over the years to coach others. There are also many women who have been stay-at-home-moms for most of their adult life and now want to do something that expresses who they are as an individual. Regardless of what your occupation has been up to this point, you have earned the right to make a change for yourself.

What jazzes you? Have you ever met someone and said to yourself, “I would love to do nwhat they do for a living!” List out your dreams and aspirations, regardless of how silly nthey may seem. Also, list what you are good at that you love doing. You will find that nthis is the woman you are today; the woman who is now putting her needs and desires to nthe front of the line instead of lagging behind and going with the general flow of life.