Knowing Why You Came From: Choose where you’re going!

I have seen this picture posted around a lot over the past couple of years:

The picture States:("Everything you do is based on the decisions you make. It's not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather your argument or your age that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision and choice you make.")

It’s a quote attributed to Wayne Dyer. Wayne is a writer, mentor, near avatar that I greatly admire and read quite often. However on this statement, taken at face value, I call Bull (Shyt).
Many times when I have seen this posted on Facebook, I have been tempted to reply, “Well…where did we learn to make all these wrong decisions”?
The truth is that we come into this world as an empty vessel , dry sponge or whatever analogy you want to make. We absorb all the influences around us, we reflect the conditions of our surroundings. We do NOT come with auto pilot, or pre-programmed, we have to be taught…how to walk, how to talk, how to process information and most importantly how to form opinions on any given subject. We are taught how to form good habits and bad habits, taught how to treat others. For example no child, regardless of skin color is born with an inherent like or dislike for people of other races or color. This is a learned response that is reinforced by parents, guardians etc .,until that particular pattern is literally grooved into our brains. These same neuro highways or ‘grooves’ are formed from any repetitive thought, action opinion.
This extends to EVERY aspect of our perception and participation in the world around us during our formative years. Lifestyle choices, including use of substances like alcohol or cigarettes.Whether or not we eat processed or junk food, whether we are church goers or practice some other spiritual regiment, or don’t. Am I making sense?
Whether one had daily exercises, positive affirmations, good study habits, good role models for relations. Good examples of monogamy and family values etc.
These are all the things that bombard, surround, insulate , wrap and cocoon then influence who we are.
Our childhood is very much the cocoon or chrysalis that we emerge from as adults. We need to KNOW and understand ALL of these things from our formative years in order to understand WHY we have made decisions in a certain matter.
Good people are not born good decision makers. “Bad people” are not born bad decision makers, they are produced.
Personal responsibility
In my book I have addressed personal responsibility and , yes it is very much true that we need to be and are responsible for the CONSEQUENCES of our decisions.
We are responsible, ultimately for the conditions of our life.
So our job, does NOT become one of blame for the way we were formed or instructed, it becomes one of UNDERSTANDING how we have been formed, discerning which are the positive things we have learned and which ones are the negative. Or the “Weeds” in our garden.
Our job is to pull the weeds, clean up the soil and put in good , positive fertilizer.
Our job is to make the decision to move forward beyond the shortcomings or limitation that have been foist upon us by our teachers, parents and other influencers.
Our job becomes one of breaking with the past, first by understanding and forgiving any unreconciled pain, judgments, and grudges that we have kept locked up in the barn. We need to sweep all that out.
Our job becomes one of surrounding ourselves with positive people, places and things that we can draw from, positive things draw more positivism to us.
There is no room to do this until we clean out the debris from our lives, That may mean cutting ties with friends, family, a job, a spouse etc anything that continues to be a source of detrimental effect in our lives. Giving up bad habits etc.
Remember to forgive, but forgiveness does NOT obligate you to keep a negative influence or person active in your current life.
It IS our responsibility to choose WHERE we are going, to choose the direction we take with each next step.
Decide where you want to go…and just keep heading in that direction.
THAT is your responsibility.
James J. Maioho

Author's Bio: 

James J. Maioho

Speaker, Mentor, Consultant, Parent and Author of Winners Give Up!