I have managed various teams in many organisations. I teach, lecture, talk and lead teams. I gain pleasure in dealing with people rather that the tools I use in my work. In this process I have identified certain characteristics of people, materials, tools and systems. What is unique is that the individual self is the biggest of all these resources.
I make several leadership and management presentations in a week, but one presentation that caught my personal attention when delivering is this that I want to share with all my readers. It caught my attention because my audience paid strict attention, and you could read from their
body language that they were all victims.
It was a close of work-night- lecture to a group of leaders of from various financial institutions. They have asked me to provide answers on how to overcome personal challenges and create personal success.
This was how I started my story. Colleagues, as I always say, and permit me to repeat myself here and again that the beginning of personal success begins with the acronym ASK. Not just asking for help, which is my first critical success factor, but also ASK as in?nn A:Attitude (Positive Mindset and Thoughts, Realisation, Can Do, and Pulling Together), nS:Skills (Communication, Integrity, Track Record, Vision, Drive and Resourcefulness), nK:Knowledge (The contents of speciality, experience and exposure)
I continued by saying that; as leaders, you are the only ones who can feel very positive and strong about your self. At the same time you are the ones who should realise the people around you and identify your impact on them and their impact on you. nWhat I have realised rather is that as leaders instead of you spending much of your time mentoring and coaching the young ones, your team, and subordinates; and as much as possible aspiring to be like your superiors, learning what your superiors do, identifying and filling the skill gaps that will put you in the next level, I find leaders and managers taking up their subordinates roles, tasks and responsibilities, spending all their day and time doing their jobs for them. This leaves you with little or no time for personal development and business productivity.
I told the group that as leaders they are to be more interested in developing their teams, subordinates and colleagues but not to be unfair to them by doing thing that are supposed to be done by them to learn and develop. One immediately interrupted my presentation and had this to say, ‘I think I’m too anxious to do the work for my subordinates or with them. I can’t bear to see them do something which I could do slightly better. I tend to be too closely involved, it gets to be my job rather than their job and that’s not fair on them.’
I went on to share the different people that can surround them and the ways they could protect themselves from being consumed by them.
The Complainants
They are always lamenting. They adore captive audience. They are the persons with the "poor me" attitude who are more interested in complaining than solutions. To deal with this situation set clear boundaries. Limit the time you spend talking about their complaints. With a firm but kind attitude say, "I’m sorry I can only talk for a few minutes today." And go on with your work and life.
The Exaggerators nThese persons have a flair for exaggerating small incidents into monsters. They present simple stories like narrating fatal life catastrophes. They turn to exhaust you with their cataclysms. As an effective leader stay calm, and cool. Take a few deep breaths. This will help you not get caught up in their tales. At work, set kind but firm limits. Say, "You must know what to do at what time and the reason for which you have been hired so as to keep your job. I'm sorry for all your mishaps, but work comes first."
The Joke TellernHe has no interest in your feelings; he’s only concerned with himself. Initially, he might seem entertaining, but when the talking doesn’t stop, you begin to get tired. They tell jokes to delight themselves and to consume your time. You wait for an opening to get a word in edgewise but it never comes. Or he might physically move in so close he's practically breathing on you. Know that these people don’t respond to nonverbal cues. You must speak up and interrupt. Listen for a few minutes- then from a neutral place politely say, I would want to share in your jokes but not this time.
The Blamer nThese persons have a mean way of making you feel guilty or lacking for not getting things just right. They will always make negative comment to make for feel worried. To handle these people any time they get closer to you see them as the last class teacher who will always beat you even when your offence is small. Think of it as a protective covering that keeps you from being harmed. Tell yourself that you are safe and secure here. You were able to go through that teachers class so will you through under such persons. This attitude filters out the negativity so it can't deplete you.
To conclude I will say that this is just to share very little with you in other not to stress you again after work. Be yourself, know yourself and make yourself feel good at all times.