Learn how to say No

Many of us are just good natured people who don’t think twice about doing for others when they need help. There is nothing wrong with being good natured and we should maintain our integrity but there are times that we just need to learn to say no. We can be too giving in our relationships with others. Now I realize that many of you are givers by nature and that is perfectly fine. Giving is what you live to do. I’m not saying that you should attempt to change from what God has created you to be but you can certainly find people to give to who will appreciate the things that you do for them.

When you continue to give to and support a deadbeat you don’t help that person or yourself. When you cease to support a deadbeat that person will only proceed to the next victim and proceed to milk that person dry.

I have learned not to feel bad when I don’t bend over backwards to help a person who is a dead beat. They won’t love you, they won’t appreciate it, and they will only use and abuse the thing that you could have given to a person who really does appreciate it. The person who appreciates your help will use it to the fullest advantage possible. The person who doesn’t appreciate it will squander it. Let me give you a personal example: When I was stationed in Korea in the 80’s I used to get a pair of shoes made every month. When I left Korea I never really wore them much because they were nice dress shoes and I came to an area where shorts and sandals is the norm. There just weren’t many occasions to wear the dress shoes. These shoes were made of the finest materials and were fashionable so there was absolutely nothing wrong with them. I outgrew them and decided to give them away to someone who needed them. I gave nine pair of them to a young man after I had joined the church who didn’t seem to have much. They fitted him fine and he took them saying that he liked them. The problem was that in the months that followed I never saw him wear them. When I asked him again if he liked the shoes he said yes. When I asked him why he never wore the shoes he claimed that he didn’t have any other clothes to wear with them.

I found another pair of shoes later which I decided could be a blessing to someone else so I gave them to another gentleman who had a large family and not much money. He would wear these shoes just about every Sunday. When I saw this I really wished that I could have gone back and got the other nine pair and given them to him also. I made the mistake of not qualifying the receiver of the gift before I gave them. The first person had no appreciation of what he had. We can make the same mistakes in life with our good deeds. Let’s not waste the small amount of good and precious gifts that we have. This incident reminds me of the bible verse which says: “Cast your pearls not unto swine.” If we are going to be a blessing to others lets make our blessings count for something.

Evaluate your gift before you give it, and evaluate the receiver. Make each decision that you make a wise one and don’t let anyone abuse the good that you will do for them. Ask questions which are pertinent to the situation. If they don’t know how to utilize resources they will only waste them which won’t do anyone a bit of good. Use your gifts to be a blessing but remember that the value can be multiplied if the blessing is applied in the right place at the right time. The Good Life