Learn to Quiet Your Harsh Ego

I use to be my own worst critic when I use to fall short of my expectations of myself. It didn't matter if my expectations were big or small; all would have me chastising myself for being less that superwoman. And that is my ego, desiring to be the best mother, friend, worker, manager, lover, etc. And it wasn't enough to be the best; I had to be perfect. Anything less than perfect was unacceptable.

The result was I tore myself down because I am human. I would take out the imaginary bat and hit myself over the head repeating 'You are Not Good Enough'.

What happens is that self-confidence erodes and I start believing the bull I'm telling myself. Self-worth plummets and then I find nothing right with me.

Ten years ago, I lost 100 pounds. You think that would make me happy; but it didn't. For me, losing the weight wasn't enough; I had to have the figure of a model. Although I fluctuate between size 2 and 4 even today; I have never attained that elusive model figure. The reason is that it doesn't matter how much or what exercise I do. It does not matter how firm I get or flat my tummy is; I was born with a body that is not what fashion designers look for.

Once I came to acceptance on that; it freed me from my limiting belief that my body is not good enough; which is a short hop from 'I am not good enough'. I have learned to embrace my body that is uniquely mine. I am petite and am 4'10"; I have that pear shape body and have learned that I need to dress to focus attention away from my thighs.

I enjoy nice clothes and buy that which looks better on me; not what looks good on the hangar. I gave up trying to dress for how I thought I should dress to dressing how I wanted to dress for me. What has happened is that I have a style that is uniquely me.

Most people will tell you my style is classy. I wear skirts and dresses exclusively to the office; I refuse to buy anything that resembles a suit. I have unique jewelry pieces and my wardrobe is all color. I work very hard not to buy much black and buy nearly everything at end of season sales.

Once I started dressing to please me; it is amazing how quickly compliments came about my style. Nothing strokes my ego more than someone telling me I dress classy. It fits my personality and I wear the style with grace and ease because it is what I want to wear.

I took a perceived flaw and made it into a huge asset for me by embracing who I am and working with what I have been blessed with. As a result, self-confidence soared because I am being true to who I am as a glamorous and beautiful woman.