Learn to Spot the Female Manipulator

My mom used to buy a new dress, hang it in the closet for 3 weeks. Wear it. And when dad asked, "Is that a new dress?" she replied, "No, I've had it for awhile" winking at me. Of course, this was the extent of my mother's manipulation of dad. She really didn't need his permission to purchase what she wanted.

Yes, women can be manipulative. We use manipulation as a tool to get ahead, get what we need, to be heard and to persuade. Manipulation is used when other tools are not available to us. The manipulative woman can be your sister, your friend, your mother, your daughter or your mother-in-law.

Women like to think that other women are straight shooters, forthright with their intentions. We want to believe women don't resort to crazy tactics to get what they want.

Guess what, women don't always play fair, especially when you stand between them and what they want. Being manipulated never feels good. The worst part of manipulation is that women don't realize when it is coming from other women.

I am not saying every woman is manipulative. But the reality is they do exist.

Female manipulation tricks with men are legendary, but what does it look like when a woman manipulates another woman?

Here are 5 behaviors you should look for in spotting the manipulative woman:

1. Buttering You Up

To get her way, a woman will make you feel good so she can get you to do what she wants. She finds out your insecurities, compliments you, and convinces you they (insecurities) don't exist. Since you want to believe her (who doesn't), you see her as someone you can trust. Making you feel good and seeing her as trustworthy makes it harder for you to say no.

2. Enticement and rewards

Most women know what pushes another woman's buttons. This woman makes promises of gifts, introductions, and even guaranteed success. She tells you that if you don't do ‘X’ then she couldn't possibly come through with her promises. This woman is notorious for promising the world for just about anything they want.

3. Selective Memory

You swear you had a conversation about a plan - everyone is on the same page. Then one day, the manipulator pretends to remember the conversation completely differently, if at all. She agrees with the plan but probably all the while intends to pull the switch on you later.

4. Guilt

Guilt doesn't only pertain to Catholics and Jewish Mothers; guilt trips have been a successful female manipulation tactic for centuries. Sadly, we give in to this tactic because we feel we HAVE to, not because we WANT to. She uses words like blame, responsibility, fault, and shame. Whew!

5. Withdrawal

When a manipulative woman doesn't get her way, she may back off, become unavailable or pout. Pulling away from your will hopefully, in her mind, have you wondering about her commitment to you (another female manipulation tactic). She is playing on your fears of being alone.

Bonus ‘Manipulator’ Behavior:
Playing dumb/helpless

Women play into other women's need to be the caretaker. Being the victim brings out the nurturing part of us. It's hard to get angry or question a helpless person who needs our help. After all, she makes us feel superior and relied upon, right?