Lesson 4
It is All About the “WHY”
Yes, you read it right. It is all about the WHY! A strong enough Why will pull you through every situation and will make you a true conqueror and victor in every occasion. It will lift you far above the average. It makes you go where others stop. It pulls you though the swamps of life when others get stuck, lost or drowned.
I can almost hear what many readers are thinking…“Is this it? How can these words bring all the lofty promises you just made? How can it be that simple? This sounds too simple to be true.”
I agree that it’s simple, but it’s not too simple to be true. In fact, I’ve learned that most of life’s secrets of success are simple. Too often a false intellectualism makes things too complicated to ever succeed. Yes, it’s simply all about the Why.
The Miracle Inside
You’re Why is your biggest, most significant, result-creating force in life! Goals are great, but a Why separates a goal-setter from a goal-achiever and a person that truly changes people’s lives. Another way of looking at your Why in life is to think of it as your ultimate reason or purpose for living.
Your Why makes all the difference in your life. It separates you from the crowd. A strong Why will not only make you get up in the morning, but it will make you happy, passionate and want to live your life to the fullest!
My goal is for you to “Find Your Why.” Discover that driving force inside of you and feed it with the right words, the right people, the right books, the right motivation and the right inspirational messages. If you do that, then the force – your Why – will emerge and drive you to success. Do you realize that you have a miracle inside you? We just have to extract it and enable you to fly. As I say, you’ve got to Find Your WHY and Fly!
Let me tell you my story. At the age of twenty-four, I was working seven days a week, more than twelve hours a day, in my family business, an art gallery. My grandfather, who I truly loved and adored, gave me two of the most powerful values that I still possess today - honesty and hard work.
I graduated as an elite business student from an accredited college, but it got me absolutely nowhere. I respect education, but most of the time education only teaches you about a certain subject. It doesn’t train you to achieve success.
That is part of what makes my teachings and this book so different. My goal is to train people and motivate them to become successful no matter their level of education, where they came from or any other factor that society uses to determine success. EVERYONE can do it!
As you know, I was a stutterer. But, worse than that, I was labeled a stutterer. People would tell me, “John, just stay with your family. That’s all you’re gonna do. You’ll work for your family. Don’t worry about becoming successful, forget your college degree. You can’t even say your name! Who do you think you are? How can you get a regular job? How can you take your college degree and go out and change the world?” I was labeled by society and destined to fail if I listened to them.
If you have been labeled, I want you to tear that label off of yourself right now! A label is a lie. Labels box people into groups. As I wrote in Lesson One, we are not a group. We are individuals. When people called Helen Keller deaf and dumb, they were labeling her as part of a group of handicapped people. As a strong individual with a miracle inside, she blew through that group label like a bullet through a bed sheet. That so-called handicapped lady is one of the most successful people in history.
No one deserves to be labeled no matter the challenges that they face in life. The miracle inside is larger than the label, and inside you are seeds of greatness. The famous and wise Oliver Wendell Holmes said, “What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are small matters compared to what lies within us.”
Learn to Fail Forward
At the age of twenty-four, my life changed when I was introduced to a person that told me, “You can do whatever you want to do in life.” I was so excited yet I was scared to death! I couldn’t even say my name without stuttering. Could I really do it? How did I meet this person that finally gave me the belief in myself that I had desperately been seeking? I simply answered an ad that said “Make $10,000 a month, wear tailor-made clothes, and drive Mercedes Benz.” I still have the actual phone that I dialed to respond to that ad, because that ad changed my life forever.
I answered the ad and went to an event. The event was on March 15, 1990 at 7:30pm. That night, I was introduced to a business. Most people will be introduced to something that could help them achieve their Why, but they won’t do it. Why? They won’t step out in faith or take a risk. In order to succeed in life, you must fail forward. That’s right…fail forward. This means to face your obstacles head on and keep going toward your goal no matter if you succeed or fail. Again, be a full metal jacket. Blow right through obstacles and even the appearance of failure. Every time you take a risk or you fail forward, you will be a little bit closer to achieving your Why in life!
Don’t ever forget this: Every failure is a stepping stone to success, which in turn becomes a very long and lovely stone walkway into the castle of your dreams.
Getting Beyond Security
I was introduced to a vehicle that enabled my Why to finally come alive. I listened to a woman speak about a business and a vehicle – Network Marketing. I’ll never forget her words. She said, “If you work hard, if you work smart, if you follow a system, you will achieve success.”
She also said that I could achieve these three magical words - time, freedom and wealth. That’s when I saw the possibility that even I could do what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it and with whom I wanted to do it with. Within seven years of hearing her speak those words of power into my life, I created a very successful business and semi-retired to South Florida.
Yes! I grabbed those words that created the possibility that I could succeed like a drowning man grabbing a life preserver. I said to myself, “I want to empower people. I want to help people realize that they can do whatever they want to do in life.” For the first time in my life, I was able to move beyond the comfort zone of security.
I realized that my security of working behind the scenes at the art gallery had allowed my stuttering to control me and my life. Security will make you complacent. It will control you and ultimately destroy you. If you’re secure right now in your job, you could be in the process of demolishing your future success.
Let me ask you a question, if you didn’t have to go out and earn money to pay your bills, what would you do? That’s right; if every bill was paid and you had enough money in the bank for the rest of your life, what would you be doing? Take a second and write down your answer. Now, that is your Why!
I will come back to that later, but let me tell you what happened when I went home that night from the event. I arrived home to my parent’s house about 11:30pm, and I just started crying. Why? Because I found a way out! I found the actual vehicle that would allow me to achieve my dreams. I could build a business, set myself free and be able to go out and speak to people. I could tell others that it is possible to achieve success, and it is okay to have dreams. That’s the night my life and my world changed.
Then, I was introduced to personal development through the classic book, “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill. If you don’t have that book, then invest in yourself and go buy it. Personal development and the industry of Network Marketing opened my eyes to opportunities that I never knew existed or were possible for even me to achieve.
I woke up the next morning and was on my way to the gym at 5:30am. As I was driving to my health club I thought to myself, “I truly don’t understand yet how I’m going to do this. I don’t know this business. I don’t know the system. I don’t know anything”, but what I did know was that someone told me I could do it and I was willing to listen to that person.
I was willing to be become success-driven and listen to people that could and would help me become successful and achieve my Why. To do that meant leaving the comfortable and complacent nest of security. You will never fly, and you will never become a success maniac if you remain in the nest.
Facing Your Fear
About a week into my new business, I attended a seminar. I knew that I would have to stand up and say my name. There I was, labeled a stutterer, sitting at that seminar, listening to people introduce themselves one by one. It was almost my turn, and I walked out of the room. Why? Because I knew I couldn’t say my name. I went in the bathroom and sat on the floor and cried. I had convinced myself that there was no way that I could say my name.
What did I do? I remembered my Why, faced my fear and went back inside. I still remember standing up, my knees shaking, heart pounding and sweat coming off me like a waterfall. My eyebrows were even twitching! You know when you’re so nervous you can’t catch your breath? That’s where I was that night. I said, “My name is Ja-Ja-Ja-Ja-Ja-Ja-Ja.” I couldn’t say my name so I just sat back down in my seat in shame, but that moment was a breakthrough. I vowed that would never happen to me again! As I drove home that day, I said to myself, “No matter what I do, I will never quit!” Guess What? I NEVER DID!
If you have fear in your life, you have to face it, attack it, demolish it and pulverize it. I had to do it, and you have to do it. We all have to face our fear in order to achieve our Why.
Champion, where are you in life? It doesn’t matter how far you are from where you want to be in your life. You can produce miracles! I believe you can do it. Do you believe you can do it? Just like me and millions of others, you too can achieve the impossible!
Expect miracles each day. I do. Why not you? YOU CAN DO what you would do if every bill was paid and you had enough money in the bank to last for the rest of your life. You can find out that it is all about the Why.
Many of you reading this book have created a bond with me simply by reading this material. From now on, I want to be your coach, your mastermind team member and your accountability partner. Are you ready? Let’s go!
In September 2001, John Di Lemme founded Di Lemme Development Group, Inc., a company known worldwide for its role in expanding the personal development industry. As President and CEO, John strives for excellence in every area of his business and believes that you must surround yourself with a like-minded team in order to stay on top of your game.
In addition to building a successful company, John has changed lives around the globe as an international motivational speaker that has spoken in over five hundred venues. Over the past thirteen years, he has shared the stage with the best of the best including Rich Devos, Denis Waitley, Jim Rohn, and Les Brown only to name a few. This is truly an amazing feat for someone that was clinically diagnosed as a stutterer at a very young age and told that he would never speak fluently.
John truly believes that everyone needs personal development to reach their full potential in life, and his determination to reach all forms of media with his motivational messages has catapulted his career. John has produced over four hundred fifty products and is an accomplished author of thirteen books including his best-selling book, “47 Secrets of Extreme Customer Service.” As a Strategic Business Coach and Small Business Expert, John’s students include doctors, lawyers, entrepreneurs, consultants, CEOs of million dollar companies, and various other occupations that are thriving in a so-called poor economy. John’s success with his students has made him one of the most highly sought after business coaches in the world.
John’s passion is to teach others how to live a champion life despite the label that society has placed on them. Through his books, audio/video materials, sold-out live seminars, numerous television interviews, intensive training boot camps, weekly tele-classes, Strategic Business Coaching, Closing & Marketing University, Millionaire Affirmation Academy, Small Business Motivational Marketing Daily Tip, and Lifestyle Freedom Club memberships, John has made success a reality for thousands worldwide.
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