Letter to a Friend

I have experienced a shattering of my old world - a crash that broke my cover personality, the part of me that tried so hard to earn my worthiness through doing, pretending over dysfunction and often covering it with pride. This false face hid a strange emptiness, a voiceless hollow, a place of fearful aloneness and ferocious self-righteousness. I realized that I lived within a deep divide, in two different worlds, one of love and one of fear. What became clear was that I could not tolerate separation any longer, for the walls that protected me from pain colored my perception of the world and also limited my ability to receive love. I am seeing in my practice that I am not alone in this process.

In the shattering, I had to admit how exhausted I was, from hiding and proving. I had to make a commitment to nurture my inner being, to set priorities that honored rest and stillness, no matter how much the world required my attention. Without strength in my heart, without nourishment, without an unshakable faith, I felt I might drown in the fear and emptiness as the cover personality dissolved. Love and awareness had to be present, this I knew.

From an early age, I divided my light and dark side. I created a magical space for my essence to live in, projecting a perfect world that could not be penetrated by darkness or disappointment. Like a castle in the sky, my personal safety zone provided a place of grace that I could return to when chaos and pain got out of hand. The light space was real and necessary yet it left me in a divided world, light above, darkness below. I blamed situations and people who took me out of this perfection world, hid my demons in closets and did not trust that change was possible, that love was real. This polarity fueled my projected light to be that much more bright, to overcome the disappointment and pai
I felt impossible to heal.

The shattering occurred during the Wisdom study program, which also provided a conceptual framework. We work with four pillars, connecting our heart with our visionary center. Acceptance and Grace hold the neutral channel, where Truth and Compassion hold our active and receptive channels respectively. When we accept something that is true at one time, but does not hold truth now, it has to shatter in order for the deeper truth to reveal itself. If we believe something, but have no compassion, we become rigid, hardened, and become victims to what we receive. The process is initiated and driven by an energy from a higher dimension, which we can call Grace. As we come to acceptance of our world, exactly as it is, with compassion and truth, we open and can then perceive our true essence.

When Truth becomes active, we can see and accept the light and dark of any situation and how it affects us. Compassion brings healing, deeper understanding, and the ability to see the part of ourselves that is caught, that reacted to the situation in the first place. This is a natural evolution, that moves us from outdated perceptions and beliefs, removes the protective covering of our essence, and takes us to a higher perception, to wisdom.
I have been in the work for a long time. I have seen that when the heart is present, it is easy to be honest, own feelings and connect to deeper presence. When the heart is absent, pride and anger come to protect. I have experienced shattering many times and each time my inner knowing encouraged me to sweep away old cover personalities, anger and pretending, and free my spirit from the binds of old programs. I had to admit when I blamed others for making me feel a certain way, and called for Grace when I was trapped in painful emotions. The part of me that wanted to be happy at any cost had to integrate rather than escape into a euphoric projection, to soften and rest, find grounding.

Bridging the gap between the light and dark side has been my life work. I have the great honor as a teacher to see bridges built and trust regained in myself and others throughout the years. My profession allows me to bring light and clarity to situations. When the heart is present, love heals the dysfunction and the walls that divide the light and dark projections dissolve. A new awareness arises through which we access our spiritual presence, and bring compassion, deeper truth and dignity into our personality. The light of this awareness holds the grace of our spirit, bringing nourishment, strength.

As I reach for new levels of presence in myself, I know others are growing right along with me. We are in this together.

The path ahead is the Path of Love. The heart helps to keep us stable, to keep our balance. Our world is unstable now. This is a natural stage of evolution. The key for us is to separate the personal from the collective and allow the feeling of constant shifting to be there. Collectively, we feel a call for change, for new beginnings. Each in our own way must strengthen our heart, learn to be true and find our voice. Any way we are false, hiding from a deeper knowing or living a lie, will be brought to the heart, brought back to love, and allowed a new life. These times will bring clarity and swiftness of truth to every situation. In the heart, we can soften, listen, accept we all make mistakes, and can forgive the unconscious acting out.

The path of the heart requires a constant cultivation of compassion. This means that we have to bring love to all parts of our nature: love to the anger, love to the fear, not to so much to fix these parts but to hear the deeper truth within them. Our needs will drive us to hear the voice of our essence, and answer the call of spirit. This is a deep time of remembering, of allowing the parts of our nature that are not serving to melt away. Any way we are separate from our essence will be revealed to us full force in the times ahead.

We invite you to carve out a space, a time each day for renewal, accepting that the world is changing, that a new cycle is coming, and readying your self for what lies ahead. It may be that the most important thing you do is commit to your spiritual path and stay in your heart in all your actions.
In order to make the changes we wish to see in the world, we have to find a new place in consciousness within.

We feel that the quality of our life will be directly measured by the way we nurture our own spirit in the times ahead.
See our website for upcoming events and more writing.
http://www.rubinenterprises.infonnRetreat: Feb 27-Mar 6 Grace: The inner Dimensions of Love
Lecture – Workshop series : March-May 2009 Path of the Heart
Check timing: http://www.rubinenterprises.infonnRubin Enterprises, LLC
Nancy and Errol Rubi

594 Alihi Place
Kailua, HI 96734
808-262-9959