Life Plan For Love: How to Exit a Bad Date Gracefully

If you've been a date, you've probably been on a bad one. Bad dates make for funny stories.

There's that episode on Friends where Phoebe's date tells her he writes "erotic novels for children," that her breasts are gorgeous, and that he has a PHD (not PhD), all within the first five minutes. Phoebe just got up and left.

For a truly rude date, walking out is appropriate. For those poor fools who can't be interesting for more than two minutes at a time, you may need to have a different exit strategy.

Fake a phone call:
You have a number of options here. You can have a friend call you a half-hour into a date. If it's a bad date, pretend something's happened that makes you need to leave. If it's a good date, just say hi, you're on a date, you'll talk later. Or you can just fake a phone call. Be careful, though; make sure your ringer and vibrator are turned off. If you're in the middle of a "conversation" and then you're phone rings, you'll be caught. Alternatively, you can hire Virgin Mobile (or some other service) to be your "friend." Send a text message to Virgin Mobile's "Rescue Ring" service and they'll call you back with an exit.

Fake an illness:
You suddenly have a migraine. You suddenly have a stomach ache. You suddenly have that mysterious marauder, "feminine problems." Don't pretend to be sick with anything really horrible and make sure you can carry off the lie. (Don't let them see you out dancing in a bar an hour later, though.)

Complain about work:
Who's going to think you don't, in fact, have too much to do? Well, they might, but who wants to be on a date with someone who's complaining about work?

Be a bad date:
Do all the things you're not supposed to do in a date. Whine. Be rude. Talk about your ex. Or just say things about yourself that will make you undesirable. You're controlling (or too loose). You're messy (or too clean). Make your date be the one to make a run for the exit.

Tell the truth:
Chances are good that your date will be honest back. Chances are also good that their honesty won't be pleasant. Oh, well. At least you'll be out of the date.

Go out the fire escape:
This isn't really graceful, and you probably shouldn't use it to get out of a date with a nice, boring person. But if your date isn't going to take your leaving well, or just doesn't get your subtler clues, climb out the window, go out the door, or lie your way outside.

Take the tried and true approach:
Just tell them you've enjoyed talking with them but they don't seem like a good match for you. Don't give details. Just smile, get up and leave.

And hang in there. For every hundred bad dates, there will be definitely be good ones too.

Copyright © 2008 Katherin Scott. All rights reserved worldwide. No part of this article may be copied or distributed in any form without the author’s information intact.