Living with Regret

Throughout all of our lives we will say or do things that will cause great regret. These things may be said or done in the "heat of the moment" or while "temporarily suspended" from who we really are (i.e. under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol). The regret we feel may come instantly or it may come later after the realization of what we did hits us. What makes it worse is when we not only hurt ourselves but when we hurt those we love.

Regret is a negative emotion that if held onto can cause even more pain and suffering then we are already experiencing. It is also an emotion that could very easily control who we truly are. If we live with the thought that we deserve to feel regret as punishment for the mistakes we made, it will eventually eat us alive; gnawing away at us piece by piece until there is nothing left. On the other hand, regret may serve a higher purpose in reminding us of who we do not want to be and of who we are not.

The best thing we can do to pick up the pieces of the wreck we left behind is to remember that it now lies in the past. There is nothing we can do to change it, but what we can do to make it better is to take responsibility for that which we said or did. Owning up to our mistakes not only empowers us but it also helps to free ourselves from the pain we are feeling. There is no sense in holding onto something in the past especially when it can cause so much damage to ourselves and eventually to those around us.
When the regret we feel comes from hurting another, it is harder to let go of because we are not the only one hurting. Our words and actions can cut like a knife leaving a small trail of blood in its path. Trying to look someone in the eye to say "I am sorry" while feeling worthless and humiliated by our own hand is a humbling experience to say the least. There is no guarantee they will find forgiveness in their heart for us, but we must find forgiveness in our own heart for ourselves in order to heal.

Regardless of what caused our regret, we always have a choice as to who we are going to be at any given moment in time. We can choose the same behavior or we can choose to be who we really are. Actions are louder than words.