Living your life happy, in your own way, does not make you selfish, it makes you healthy. Over the years I have been surprised at the number of people who live their lives through what others want, need or expect from them, not to speak of what they THINK someone wants, needs or expects. They feel an innate obligation to do for others, in a way that ends up stealing their own happiness.

Why do we do this? We do it because we believe it is the right thing to do, but I have to ask, who is it right for? It is not right for you if it causes you to complain or feel any level of negativity or unhappiness. And it is not right for the person you are doing it for because it takes away the opportunity for them to be their own true-self.

When you take on the wants, needs or expectations of others you are robbing yourself of your own “life force”, your connection to Source, which is in fact You. You are robbing yourself of You because if it is making you unhappy you are not living through You, you are living through them.

Living through You first produces genuine love and positive energy. It is through this love and energy you will KNOW what is best for you and what is best for others without a shadow of a doubt. When you live through another, you actually hinder their growth because it does not allow them to take responsibility for their own happiness and you are then enabling their dependency upon you. In the end this will drain you of all your vital necessities such as positive energy, love, compassion, forgiveness, well-being, peace and happiness.

Whenever we do something from the feeling of obligation, (and yes, obligation is only a feeling) it does not come from a place of love it comes from a place of fear. Fear that if you don’t do what this person wants, needs or expects, something bad will happen. But as hard as it is to accept, you are not responsible for anyone else’s well-being or happiness! If something “bad” happens as a result of your lack of attention to their happiness over your own, it is their fault because THEY allowed it to happen, not you. They are the one’s who are in control over how they feel or how they choose to live. They know what they need to do, and if they don’t, they know they can find the answers by doing research or asking for advice. It is not up to you to make their life better or happier, but it is up to you to make your life the way you want it!

The thing you have to remember is until you are comfortable in your own skin, being You, and putting your happiness above all else, you are going to continue to attract needy people who will make you feel as if you owe them something, when in fact you owe no one nothing, except yourself. You owe it to yourself to be joyously happy under any and all circumstances and when you do this FIRST all the pieces fall happily in place. What was once a feeling of obligation or responsibility is nothing short of genuine love and compassion for others.

Love & Light,


Author's Bio: 

Cindy is a Personal Development Life Coach. Her knowledge and expertise comes from 25 years of study, personal life experiences, and from working as a community volunteer and mentor. Cindy coaches people towards finding their own personal power through inner awareness; guiding them along their own unique path toward true happiness and life fulfillment. To learn more about Cindy go to Personal Blog go to