Long Distance Relatioships

Dating can be a very challenging sport. A lot of people find the whole idea of dating to be a trying and arduous task. Others enjoy the hunt and changing up partners every so often. Living in Cleveland for the majority of my life I have found that after so long you begin to exhaust your options. After so long you will find that the potential mates in and around the city that you live in are people you have already dated, your friends have dated, or are people you are simply not interested in. The dating pool becomes less and less. Recycling old relationships are a possibility if the first time around didn’t end badly. Dating someone a friend used to date can become a sticky situation because a lot of people operate on the “once mine, always mine” type of thinking and you may run the risk of damaging friendship. Otherwise, you may have to consider looking for love outside of your normal surroundings. You never know where your potential mate may be living, but if you don’t get from under that rock you may never know.

Dating someone who is not easily accessible to you can be very hard to do. It’s not easy and not for everyone. Some people can’t handle dating people who fall outside of their 30 minute radius and can’t be seen on a daily basis. It depends on the people involved and what they are looking to get out of the relationship. There has to be a lot of trust and communication to make any relationship work, especially one that is long distance. I think it takes a certain level of maturity to be able to trust that the person you are in a relationship with and to know if they are worthy of your trust. There also has to be a strong desire to want to make the relationship work and be successful. An open and honest dialog about how you feel and your intentions are always the perfect place to start.

Knowing who you are first and foremost will help in ensuring you are able to handle a long distance relationship. At 32 I have had my fair share of relationships. I am the type woman who loves spending time with her significant other and being affectionate with him. However, I am not the type of woman who has to be up under her man all the time, nor do I want him up under me all the time. I go to work, church, and raising a child along with my other activities, so when it’s time for me to be with my man I want to give him all of my full attention. Not being able to see him on a regular basis is challenging, but I feel secure in our relationship based off our communication, trust and mutual respect for one another. The distance between us allows for us to really get to know each other better because we are forced to talk. We engage in more conversations which allow us to get a better understanding of each other. When we finally do get to spend time together we are truly enjoying each other’s company and get to have the physical interaction.

The draw backs to long distance dating are that you don’t really get to experience the day to day with one another. We don’t get to see how we truly live or handle situations. You may not know that the person you are dating is really a nasty slob because every time you come over the house is immaculate. You don’t know if he is only seeing you, because truth is, he could have another chick around the corner in his neighborhood that is there when you aren’t. He could be saying all the right things to you over the phone, text messages, emails, or Skype while lying next to someone else. This is a reality that is true not only for long distance relationships, but also those who live within close proximity of each other as well. You never really know what someone is doing when you are not around, but that is a chance we all take when dating. I personally would not focus on that aspect in any type of relationship. If you always have one foot out the door because of the possibility you will miss out on what your potential relationship could flourish into. Love is a gamble and it is a risk that many people are not willing to take, but when you refuse to get in the game you can never win.

Can long distance relationships work? Yes, of course they can. They are more difficult to be in and challenge you to be a stronger person because you have the space and opportunity to do whatever you want, but staying true to your partner and your relationship takes integrity and maturity. People who are insecure won’t be able to handle a long distance relationship, hell they can’t handle one that is in their neighborhood. There is no need to question him every time he doesn’t answer the phone when you call or respond to your text messages right away; because if he is cheating or doing anything disrespectful it will make itself known. What you do in the dark, always come to light. He may get away with it for a little while, but at some point he will slip up. God has a way of letting you know when something is right. You may get that feeling in your gut, some chick may knock on the door while you are there, she may call you or send you a Facebook message, leave something on his Facebook wall, you’ll find a condom wrapper or some panties under his bed, or it could be anything. Believe me it will find a way to jump out at you without you even looking for it. At the end of the day all a person has is their word. If they can’t stand by their word then they can’t stand by me. Don’t be afraid of the all that can go wrong, instead focus on what can go right and what feels right.