When you know that to love yourself first is critical to cultivate loving relationships, you will then understand and accept it as the ONLY foundation on which unconditional love, compassion and a desire to help and serve others evolves.

The perception that to love yourself first is key to being able to do the most good for yourself, your family and others, doesn’t come naturally to us human beings.
We’ve been conditioned to think that self-love is selfish and the only good we do in the world is when we give and do for others.   We accept and give in to the the demands of our family, work and even expectations of society to be the kind of woman, man, parent that’s acceptable.   We accept as the norm the growing feeling of exhaustion from doing and giving way too much out of love and duty.
Yet as young men and women we made time to treat and pamper ourselves, to do the things we knew would make us feel good, to hang out with our friends and participate in the things we enjoyed.
Should anything get in the way of our plans we would move hell or high water to achieve it.  Failing that there was always ‘plan b’ which involved some kind of manipulation of parents, grandparents or the bribing of siblings.  Nothing and I mean NOTHING could get in the way of a young person determined to get their own way!


Why then as adults do we not have the same fortitude for taking care of ourselves, recognizing when we need nurturing and then getting those needs met without a hint of guilt?
As adults we take on many roles spouse, mum/dad, employee or business owner, school/community committee member, chief fundraiser as well as ‘extra-curricular’ activities for school and sporting events and more.   ‘Wham,’ almost overnight our responsibilities grow while the level of ‘self-love and self-care’ shrink.   Do you see yourself in this picture?
The relationship with yourself is a life long commitment;- when you fail to care and love yourself you end up resenting your responsibilities including the care of your loved ones.  When you disregard your needs you tell the world that you are not worthy of love and care so it will give you exactly what you believe you deserve.


Make the time to pay regular attention to your self-care.  Be self-aware to do the things that keep you happy. When you do – you can contribute more generously, have endless energy and love without  a hint of resentment towards your responsibilities.

For example, in a family environment a healthy one prioritizes the care, love and appreciation of each individual including the main care-giver.  This level of care is evident where-ever your family go.  When one sees happy kids, one assumes they have happy parents – the happier and content one is with their life in general the happier the family and home environment will be.
Take some time out today to re-do your weekly schedule and block time out to nurture you – treat ‘yourself’ as the love of your life and everyone else will appreciate and love you more for the better love you give them.
Be love, loved, loving.

Author's Bio: 

Terai Koronui is founder of ‘Love from Inside Out’ and a Love & Connection Coach/Educator; also known as the ‘Love Doctor.’ She empowers men and women no matter how unloving or painful their experiences to:
-feel loved
-be worthy and prepared for love
-have loving relationships
-do what they love
When all these are aligned one is living the life they love!

‘Love from Inside Out’ offers coaching, events and retreat programs to align and boost your love. For more info go to: LIKE us at