There was a time once when I thought I had nothing, but what I really had was nothing to lose. It took the death of someone I love, in order for me to learn how to live. And now I realize that I am truly blessed, because I have always had it all.

God knows I've evolved from my life's experiences. And here I am today. No apologies. No explanations. No judgment. Just me. I've been the source for media controversy and interest, both in my professional and personal life, but no matter. What matters is that I am loved by my loved ones, and will always love what I see when I look in the mirror. I am a child of God, as I believe all living beings deserve to be treated with the same goodness, love and compassion that He shows. Life is about doing, with no restrictions, loving, with no conditions, and living, with no regrets.

The gay community has always been where I've felt most at home. A rainbow flag is most appropriate for a group of amazing people that are diverse in race, colorful in personality, and brilliant with talent. I was the first Playboy Centerfold to come "out" and did so for many reasons. For one, love has no color, sex, or reason. I never limited my love to just one sex. I'm not ashamed of that and never will be. Also, my younger aunt who raised me since birth was chastised so badly for her bisexuality, even though she was private about it, and even though she was more dignified and sophisticated than her bullies could ever be. That said, when those who pointed fingers were not so kind even the days before she died, I ordered those who wanted to put her down for having her female friend there to hold her hand to not be allowed in the hospital. I came out proudly and dared them to treat me the way they treated her. They didn't. And I hope that I encouraged others to be proud of who, what, and how they identify. My hopes were to truly be a spokesmodel and advocate, with no regrets or apologies. I donated my own personal funds and helped to raise funds. I also spoke and represented gay organizations at events and in the media. Speaking on stage or announcing the Gay Pride parade for NYC and other boroughs was a regular yearly event for me. Those were truly some of my fondest memories. To this day, I am married to a wonderful man, and I love him dearly. Those who judge love, don't know how to love...or they wouldn't judge...and they wouldn't judge me for "coming out" or "going back in", because I am still the same. I am still proud of my past, as well as my present. No regrets or apologies. And I love the gay community just the same and continue to be a part of it. Love has no color, sex, or's just love.

Author's Bio: 

GODDESSY, a portmanteau of "goddess" and "odyssey", was founded in October 1999 by Playboy Centerfold, spokesmodel and author Stephanie Adams, who originally wrote under the pen name "Sorceress". Adams is currently the author of two dozen metaphysical books, astrology calendars and tarot cards, in addition to having been the astrologist and contributing editor for 10 publications as well as a renowned psychic and tarot card reader. Adams is a Leo, born July 24, 1970, raised in New York City, and is an interracial mix of Black, White and American Indian. According to her Playboy pictorial, Adams is the direct descendant of two U.S. presidents, John Adams and John Quincy Adams, later discovering that her lineage also traces back to the House of Plantagenet, Charlemagne, and Merovingian Dynasty. Adams has been featured in and on numerous magazine covers as well as various newspapers such as New York Post, Daily News, Newsday, etc. as well as TV channels 2 (CBS), 4 (NBC), 5 (FOX), 7 (ABC), 9 (WOR) 11 (WPIX), NY 1 News, CNN, etc. and other media such as Entertainment Tonight, The Late Show With David Letterman, Playboy TV, etc. Aside from her active modeling and writing career, Adams decided to dedicate most of her time investing in Fortune 500 companies, enabling her to become a self-made millionaire before the age of 30. Now Adams has decided to dedicate most of her time towards philanthropy, and developing as much of a private life as she can possibly have. Complete book, press information and photos can be found by visiting and