The Wordallogic: Love or Security - A Personal Decision
by Aleasa M. Word
Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved

Each day we are faced with choices. Sometimes it’s very hard to decide which road to travel on. On second thought forget that I said sometimes and instead replace that with most of the time. But how do we choose when it comes to matters of the heart?

Hopefully people can relate to both good and bad relationship experiences. However, in this world we live in today more report they’ve never really experienced a good relationship. The question is how do we determine what a good relationship is?

· What standards do we use, ours or the world’s?

· What relationships have we seen to use as the benchmark?

· What qualifications do we possess to say we know what a good relationship is?

· Is a “good” relationship determined on a case to case basis as it relates to your individual relationship rhythm?

No matter how you answer the questions above, one factor a lot of people are faced with when they do decide to look for or enter into a relationship is whether or not they should choose love or security. Old school relationship standards picked security over love. Many young women 20 to 30 years ago were taught to be with the man who could provide for you and you would learn to love him. But I wonder:

· Is that really possible to force love with a person?

· Can you learn to love someone because they represent security in life?

· Is it possible to develop a deep, passionate love for someone whose main attraction was security?

Should you instead follow your heart and choose the person who makes you happy? This is the same person who you share dreams or goals with. This is the person who may have potential but is probably not in that place of security yet. Your heart is captive to them. After all the heart wants what it wants right?

It’s all up to individual choices. With the potential mate who you love, you run the risk of them never reaching their full potential. Can you handle that, or is that ok because you’d rather be happily in love than secure? Should you choose the one who works or has a business and can help save towards the future or in some instances take care of you? Will you be fulfilled or will you find yourself straying because they were never what you really wanted in the first place?

Love is a splendid but funny thing as is life itself. When asked the question should one pick Love or Security, I think it depends where you are in your life. If you are established, have had your children, gone through divorce, purchased a home and such love may be what you are looking for. You may not be in a place where you are looking for security in another person because somehow you’ve been able to develop it for yourself due to circumstances. If you are younger and looking to start out in life with a family, new home and such you may decide security is more important to you. You may want to have a solid unit for your children or even for yourself. You may need to feel that safety net when you come home from work or even if you’re a stay at home person.

No matter what it is that you choose make it an individual choice. Don’t let the world’s opinion of what YOU need to do in YOUR life impact your decision unless the decision s somehow violent or detrimental to your well-being. People connect with others for various reasons at various times in their life. Choose what is best for you because the world will certainly do the same and not ask for your opinion!

Author's Bio: 

Aleasa Word,CLC, CEIC is a Reactionary Change Specialist and Certified Emotional Intelligence Coach. She is the owner of Allergy Words Consulting, LLC, Board Chair for The Society of Emotional Intelligence Tri-State and Director of the Food Allergic & Asthmatic Multicultural Society of DE. Ms. Word provides stress management, team development, relationship planning and life balance coaching services as well as small business transition consulting. More information may be found at or email