Love vs. Attraction

Love and attraction are some of the most confused and misunderstood human emotions when it comes to relationships. You may have experienced deep unexplained feelings for another at some point in your life, but things did not turn out as you had hoped. What happened? You may have also been convinced that you were “in love,” but only later faced the bitter end of betrayed emotions. What happened? Here is what happened, a relationship can have one of two human emotions as its foundation. The first of those emotions is attraction.

Attraction is not necessarily the most logical of human emotions. It is based mostly on having physical or “mechanical” settings that are conducive to generating mutual desire. So two people may find themselves in a relationship based on the mechanical chemistry of attraction. This type of relationship only lasts as long as there are no settings that would provide the promise and prospect of greater mechanical chemistry. Cheating often results from this type of chemistry, because attraction only holds a relationship together, if nothing “better” comes along.

The second and most reliable foundation for a relationship is love. Love is more than attraction by far! Its more of a desire to have someone as part of your life which is accompanied by the willingness to share future goals, caring (protective instincts) and the willful commitment of loyalty mutually shared. It stands to reason then that love would not seek to betray the emotions of a loved one, because that will make it something less than love. When dating, you have to know the difference between the two before you can make any reasonable progress in creating a meaningful relationship. Love is a free choice. Attraction is a reaction which is not always logical and can control a person and make them unstable in a relationship, if they let it be their main criterion for starting a relationship.