Loving Yourself

We are all deeply challenged in the arena of self-love.

We can be easier on ourselves when we start to really take in that this ego-construct that we believe ourselves to be is absolutely flawed. Everyone's ego-construct is flawed. The ego arises as a thought of separation, of lack, of not-whole so to expect your body-mind to be content and happy with itself is actually madness. It is all the opposite-it is most often in conflict with itself, carrying oodles of self-hatred.

So it's to take a look at this body-mind of yours...there are so many aspects of it that appear to be unlovable and hateful. It's designed that way. One part of the mind hating another part of the mind, that's all that's ever going on..... and EVERY MIND is equally intolerable of itself, that's the nature of mind. We are one mind. So everyone has a core story that will feel absolutely unlovable. Either you're convinced you're 'bad', 'ugly', 'weird', 'crazy', 'stupid', 'useless', 'unlovable' - or fill in whatever it is for you.
Whatever this is, this is what we have come here to love.
This core story of unlovability, in whichever form it shows up for us - this is what binds us most deeply to the belief that we exist as a separate, personal self. This is why it is imperative that we come to see and dislodge our core patterning. It is also the end of the suffering.
This unpacking is not easy because of the contracted energy that hold these beliefs cemented in place. These beliefs were formed through experiences with Others where we did not feel loved. For the tender, exquisitely sensitive energy body of the baby, this is taken in as deeply painful. The nervous system of the child is not equipped to handle this and so it must be pushed down out of conscious awareness as unintegrated molecules of energy.
At the same time as the pain is repressed, the beliefs are being set in place and walls of protection get erected around the heart. From there on, life is lived in such a way as to avoid ever touching that pain again.
We may be able to live a good part of our lives without engaging with the pain but we live handicapped, unfull lives of disconnect, of micro-macro managing our environment. This is ultimately exhausting and something finally wants to crack open.
When the willingness is in place, Life starts to orchestrate itself to bring attention to what has been buried. The pain of believing you are not lovable, not good enough, starts to get squeezed to the surface.

Simply allowing this pain to emerge is all that is needed. Anything else, as in the voice of reason from yourself or other, is trying to put a band-aid over a festering wound. It does not land in the child-self's being. This is why affirmations, spiritual concepts, non-dual language cannot do the deeper healing. They cannot penetrate the walls around the heart. They are like mental arrows storming the castle walls of the ego-mind that just bounce back because these walls are comprised of energy. This energy can only melt by being fully felt and experienced, more often than not in the sweet release of long held-in tears. If it is felt as a grip of sensation in the body it will dissolve gradually when held in awareness. Love is the greatest dissolving -agent for this pain energy, your own compassion or that of another.
This cleansing and purging breaks the trance of the mind and allows the true, natural strength of your being to come forth. What emerges gradually as the layers of mind are washed away is a natural knowing that you are deeply loved, that you are Love itself.