By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts.

This is the time of the year when so many of us make promises to ourselves and to others that we rarely ever keep! These so-called “New Year’s Resolutions” sound good when we make them but, all too often, we ignore them by Valentine’s Day.

You know the familiar refrains – I will lose weight. I will quit smoking. I will call my Mom at least once a week. And the list goes on.

How about you do something different this year. How about making a New Year’s Resolution you plan to keep! Why not commit to making love your New Year’s Resolution? More importantly, why don’t you make a commitment to tell someone you deeply love that you really love them – and that you will do it several times every day in 2010!

Make this the year you commit to never making the egregious sin of saying, “Oh, I don’t need to tell her (him) I love you. They know I love them.” Wrong! If you love someone you must tell them – you must tell them every day. You must tell them how much you love them and how important they are in your life. You cannot possibly love someone with all your heart and with all your soul, and not tell them every day of your life. It is simply not possible. Here’s why.

We have interviewed thousands of happily married couples over the past 27 years. We report our findings in our new book entitled Building a Love that Lasts (Jossey-Bass/Wiley) that is available everywhere books are sold.

We have learned many things from the lovebirds we have interviewed over the years, but one thing is certain – one thing is pervasive in all of our interviews – people in love say so! They tell each other every day! They shout it to the stars each day. To be in love – to be truly in love – is to tell the one you love that you love them everyday of your life. To do less is to diminish your love for them.

Recently, we were in France interviewing successfully married couples. While in Lyon we spent time with the grandparents of one of Charley’s exchange students, Barbara, who lives in Lyon with her husband, Francois. Her wonderful grandparents had been in love for nearly 61 years. They reported to us that everyday of their lives together they tell each other how much they love each other – how deep their love for each other is. To watch their eyes mist up over the mere mention of their love for each other brought tears to our eyes.

We have seen this reaction over and over in the collective 15,000+ years of marriage we have interviewed over these past 27 years. It’s always the same – people in love show their love for each other, but they also TELL their love for each other. They do it every day. To understand why they have stayed married for so long – in this case 58 years – you only have to observe their love for each other and listen to their words. You just have to listen to their words. They love each other and they tell each other multiple times each day. You can learn a lot from people who are truly in love.

So, friends, when you start making your New Year’s Resolutions this year, start with love. After love, all things are possible. Make love your New Year’s Resolution. You will never regret it.

Simple Things Matter in love and marriage. Love well!

By Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz

Authors of the best-selling book and multiple-award winning book Building a Love that Lasts: The Seven Surprising Secrets of Successful Marriage (Jossey-Bass/Wiley 2010) Available wherever books are sold.

Winner of the INDIE Book Awards GOLD Medal for Best Relationship Book
Winner of the 2009 Mom’s Choice Awards GOLD Medal for Most Outstanding Relationships and Marriage Book
2009 Nautilus Book Awards Winner for Relationships

Author's Bio: 

As America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts and award-winning authors, Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz help international audiences answer questions about love, marriage and relationships. With 26 years of research on love and successful marriage across six continents of the world and their own 43-year marriage, the Doctors know what makes relationships work.

Get started with America's #1 Love and Marriage Experts by taking their Marriage Quiz or sending your questions to Ask the Doctors for Marriage Advice.

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