Marriage Help for Christians - Four Things You Can Do To Change Your Difficult Marriage
Written by Karla Downing
Are you looking for marriage help for Christians to guide you in deciding whether to stay in your difficult marriage? Before you decide to leave, make sure you have tried these four things:
1. Improve your own life. Other than dating, what would you be doing if you weren't married? How much of that can you do now while married? This will help you develop your own life in the midst of the marriage and stop depending on your spouse to fulfill you. Healthy marriages are composed of two people who have mutual and independent identities and interests. This will make you instantly happier.
2. Ask STRONGLY for what you need in very specific ways. We expect our spouses to know what we need and we forget to ask clearly. Consider the probability of whether or not your spouse will be able to meet your request. Don't waste your requests on things you know are impossible, because you will both be more frustrated.
3. Accept your spouse. How would it change your thoughts if you accepted your spouse for who he/she is and not take personally the things that he/she is unable to do for you that you need? We often personalize a spouse's personality and limitations, but truthfully people are who they are with or without us and it isn't usually about us.
4. Set clear boundaries with things that are unacceptable. We often complain and argue about things we don't like, but we avoid setting clear boundaries with consequences. Arguing and complaining is often ignored and not taken seriously. Boundaries stated in clear terms in a calm voice are taken more seriously.
Staying in a difficult marriage isn't easy but neither is divorcing. Before you leave, try doing these things to improve your marriage. It will help you know that you have done everything God would have you to do before you make the difficult decision to leave. We are each responsible for ourselves and will give an account of our own actions to God regardless of what our spouses do (Romans 14:12). This marriage help for Christians is designed to empower you to change your marriage and life, even if your spouse isn't willing to work on it.
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