You probably know those who, when failing, time and again, in their attempts to develop an intimate relationship, tell you “it’s only a matter of time” until they will; “it is only a matter of meeting ‘the right person’”.

What they don’t realize is that meeting “the right person” with whom to develop a successful relationship is NOT a matter of luck or time, but rather of DEVELOPING SELF-AWARENESS: getting to know and understand the ways in which they sabotage their relationships (or their attempts to begin one) and taking the necessary steps to change what needs change in their attitudes and behaviors.

MEETING “THE RIGHT PERSON” AND DEVELOPING A SUCCESSFUL REALTIONSHIP:

Is not a question of luck or time; IT’S A MATTER OF KNOWING ONESELF.

Is not a question of “waiting for the one and only”; IT’S A MATTER OF TAKING THE TIME TO KNOW ONESELF.

Is not a question of learning “dating techniques”; IT’S A MATTER OF “BEING ONESELF”.

Is not a question of preparing a smashing dating-site profile; IT’S A MATTER OF BEING GENUINE AND AUTHENTIC.

Is not a question of going on thousand and one dates; IT’S A MATTER OF TAKING ONESELF ON A LONG DATE AND GETTING TO KNOW ONESELF BETTER.

Is not a question of showing not more than one’s nice sides on a first date; IT’S A MATTER OF ACKNOSLEDGING AND ACCEPTING ALL SIDES OF ONE’S PERSONALITY AND BEEING TRUE AND HONEST WITH THOSE ONE DATES.

Is not a question of finding one’s “soul mate”; IT’S A MATTER OF CONNECTING WITH ONE’S OWN SOUL.

Is not a question of how smart or beautiful one is; IT’S A MATTER OF UNDERSTANDING WHAT MAKES ONE FEEL HE/SHE NEEDS TO PROVE HOW SMART OR BEAUTIFUL HE/SHE IS AT ALL TIMES.

Is not a matter of blaming “all these men” or “all these women”; IT’S A MATTER OF BECOMING AWARE OF ONE’S PART IN THE FAILURE OF THE RELATIONSHIPS AND TAKING RESPONSIBILITY.

Is not a question of “taking care of one’s partner at all times”; IT IS A MATTER OF ACKNOWLEDGING ONE’S CONTROL ISSUES WHICH DRIVE HIM/HER TO CONSTANTLY DICTATE TO THE PARTNER WHAT, WHEN AND HOW TO BEHAVE.

Is not a matter of always needing things to be done one’s own way; IT’S A MATTER OF UNDERSTANDING WHERE DOES THIS NEED COME FROM AND LEARNING HOW TO CHANGE.

Is not a matter of having “so much love” to give; IT’S A MATTER OF KNOWING HOW NOT TO SUFFOCATE ONE’S PARTNER.

Is not a question of “waiting to meet the perfect partner”; IT’S A MATTER OF GETTING IN TOUCH WITH ONE’S OWN FEARS ABOUT A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP AND OVERCOMING THEM.

Switching one’s thinking and doing from “a question of” to “A MATTER OF” and developing Self-Awareness is the key to becoming able to develop a successful relationship.

Author's Bio: 

Doron Gil, Ph.D., an expert on Self-Awareness and Relationships, is the author of “The Self-Awareness Guide to a Successful Intimate Relationship”. Available as eBook and paperback: http://www.amazon.com/Self-Awareness-Guide-Successful-Intimate-Relations...

Dr. Gil has a 30 year experience as a university teacher, workshop leader, counselor and consultant in both the USA and Israel. He has taught classes on Self-Awareness and Relationships to thousands of students, lectured widely on these and related topics at conferences world-wide, gave workshops and trained physicians, managers, school teachers and parents on how to develop Self-Awareness in order to improve their personal and professional relationships.