Article

THOSE WHO HAVE SUSTAINED MARRIAGE

Written by YAMIN MEMON

Topic: Relationship AdvicePublished June 29, 2003
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Those who have sustained a successful marriage practice these qualities in their married life. I have listed some of their qualities below. Follow these tips and enjoy lasting married and family life.

DO NOT SHARE YOUR PRESONAL PROBLEMS WITH OTHERS:
There are a few exceptions to this rule, but if it is inevitable to discuss personal problems. Make sure it is with a person in whom you have full confidence. If possible seek help from a qualified counselor.

LIVE WITHIN YOUR MEANS:
Do not envy the possessions of your friends or relatives, do not belittle your spouse because he/she cannot provide them for you. Restraint your self with regards to credit cares.

BE CONSCIOUS OF YOUR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE:
Be very careful about your personal hygiene and good grooming. Keep yourself strong and muscular. This equally applies to both the sexes. In most of the cases the first and prime aspect of you that attracted your spouse tends to be appearance, so do not think that now you are married the task of keeping yourself attractive is over. You can not hide your overweight under your dress. Your spouse knows it very well. Remember, that since time immemorial people place a high premium on physical appearance. People flaunt the shapely female and her muscular spouse. Temptations beckon all. Do not allow your spouse to get deviated by the likes of a Tom Cruise or J-Lo. Join a gym or exercise at home to stay in shape.

HAVE A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR:
Be able to laugh at life’s minor conflicts or problems.

BE ACTIVE IN COMMUNITY LIFE:
This gesture strengthens your commitment towards your family and society and provides you a wholesome social outlet. Have dinners at your home for friends and relatives. Such activities enhance the quality of your marriage through widening your circle of activity and contacts.

BE SENSITIVE TO YOUR MATE’S MOODS:
If you want to share a personal achievement, do not do it when your spouse is down in the mood. Wait for the right moment.

ADMIT YOUR MISTAKES AND HAVE A FORGIVING, GENEROUS ATTITUDE WHEN YOUR SPOUSE COMMITS MISTAKES:
Be quick to admit your shortcomings and work to amend them. Be understanding when your spouse does not live up to the ideals you have dreamed of. Try to motivate him/her in the right direction.

RESPECT YOUR MATE’S PRIVACY:-
A quiet time to oneself each day, either at home or away from home, can make a disagreeable person agreeable.

BE AWARE OF YOUR ROLE BUT DO NOT FALL INTO ROLE- PLAYING:
Many spouses sometimes face difficulties because they are trying to do things by the books without giving due consideration to the conditions prevailing in their country or society.

For example, in some societies most females are taught that the role of a woman is to be at home raising children. Supposedly, it is the man who works outside the home to maintain the family.

BE MODEST WHEN AROUND THE MEMBERS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX:
Do not try to test your spouse’s affection by feigning interest in another. This will only cause dissension and bad feelings.

COMMUNICATE YOUR FEELINGS TO ONE ANOTHER, GOOD OR BAD:
Tell your spouse how handsome or gorgeous he/she looks. Have an open discussion on disagreements. Do not try to score on each other. Have a let-it-go attitude also.

SHARE HOUSEHOLD DUTIES:
Males, take note. This is more important these days when women work outside the home. Help her and be kind to your spouse.

GIVE EACH OTHER GIFTS:
Take her to a restaurant for a candle light dinner alone and away from children. You will experience the astronomical lift given to your marriage by such gestures.

BE A COMPANION TO YOUR MATE:
Show genuine enthusiasm for your spouse’s interests and hobbies. By all means, try to involve your partner in your interests, of course without force!

You may say to yourself "All this is easier said then done." Yes, you are right. A successful marriage is not just an accident. Finding the right person is not just a matter of luck. Sincerity and persistence are needed to have a successful and sustained marriage. It means being selfless and making mistakes. It means having vengeance on your mind but forgiveness in your heart.

“The whole world is an asset and the best asset is a good wife”.

Article author

About the Author

Dr. Yamin Memon BHMS+MBA is a self hypnosis trainer and psychosocial rehabilitation consultant.

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