Money! What a complex relationship many of us have with it. Not only is it the source of our survival in the modern world, but we often see it as a measure of self-worth. This is evidenced in our culture by the continual need for the bigger home, better car or designer jeans. There is however, a fundamental difference in the way that men and women view and handle money.

Men take ownership of money…
The difference lies in how men take ownership. They are the descendants of men who, through the generations, have demonstrated ownership. They may have fears of failure or of appearing less masculine around their ability to make and hold money. They may display spending habits that lead to financial hardship, and they may make poor financial choices just like women. However their masculine nature is different in the way they express their relationship with money. While men generally experience either higher expectations or perceived expectations to become financially successful, it is easier for them to take ownership of their right to earn, spend, and play the competitive money game than it is for a woman!

Women seek security…
While men take ownership, women look for security. This is why men often do better in divorce when it comes to division of assets. It’s easier for them to identify what they want and ask for it. Women on the other hand often do better in the stock market. They are less likely to take risks and are more apt to stay with their investments, waiting out the ups and downs, while a man plays the buy or sell game with exhilaration, sometimes winning and sometimes losing.

As women, learning how to be centered in our femininity yet independently abundant is essential to knowing that we have the right to earn as much as men, and to want and dream of success in both our personal and business life.

I am the first financially independent woman in my family’s history, a common reality among women today. My mother periodically worked part-time and was never expected to be paid as much as my father. Her money was considered her “little spending fund” while my dad took on the responsibility of earning and paying for our household expenses. Along the same theme, neither of my grandmothers ever worked outside the home. They were acceptably dependent on their men for survival.

Consider there was a time when a woman wasn't allowed to own anything, even if she worked, her money was given to her husband to dish out as he saw fit. Since our female ancestral line was taught through the generations the art of seeking security, it is not surprising that today many women still have difficulty understanding how to take ownership of money. For men the woman’s generational art of seeking security can feel like manipulation or the ‘gold-digger” and might even bring up trust issues when in business or romantic relationships.

For women there is a correlation between seeking security and feeling powerless. This is especially demonstrated by the woman who stays in an unhappy relationship because of the perceived financial security. Even a well-educated business woman may make romantic choices based on security and social status, rather than facing her fear of stepping out and fully manifesting on her own. One of the many benefits of our modern world is that it offers so many opportunities for both men and women. We no longer have to cling to security for our survival.

For men, the pressure of being the provider because they take ownership may cause them feel trapped and cost them life choices such as a needed career change or even feeling obligated to stay in an unhappy relationship to avoid financial loss and guilt.

For men and women to achieve relationship balance it’s imperative that women take ownership of money by acknowledging their own feminine beauty, creative savvy and honoring their ability to earn, spend and invest wisely, trusting the continuous flow of abundance in their life. This woman who is true to her nature, who steps up and takes discerning ownership of her life journey, her creativity, and who is fluid in the flow of life and money, can live a joyous, sweet, independent and abundant life and in turn sets her man free to do the same.

Author's Bio: 

Written by Tracia Larimer, she helps clients understand their money psychology, bringing a gentle, respectful and nonjudgmental approach that allows clients bring order to their physical and emotional chaos and free up whatever is holding them back from creating a prosperous and thriving life. She can be reached at or 503-746-8303.
Permission to reprint with full attribution © 2013 Tracia Larimer