Nowadays, a lot is often said about having the ‘right mindset’ and being mentally strong. By having the right mindset and being mentally strong, someone will be more likely to achieve their goals and handle the challenges that come their way.

Naturally, if someone sees themselves and the world in a certain way, they are going to be more likely to do well in life. And, when they have the ability to handle different setbacks, challenges and stressors, they will have what it takes to overcome the hurdles that arise and keep going.

The Priority

If, then, someone is in a position where their mindset is not very supportive and they are generally not mentally strong, it will be essential for them to do what they can to change this. By taking this step, they will gradually be able to live a life that is far more fulfilling.

Now, if they were to look into what they can do to change their mindset and become more resilient, they are likely to come across a lot of information that is very mind-centric. In other words, the main way for them to make progress in both of these areas will be for them to change what is taking place in their mind.

The Focus

So, they can learn about how important their beliefs and thoughts are and how it is these elements that largely define how they see themselves and how mentally stable they are. As a result of this, it will be important for them to question what they believe and to ‘manage’ their thoughts.

By doing the first thing, they will start to see themselves and the world differently, and, by doing the second thing, they will be able to control their emotions. Along with this, they could learn about how effective meditation is when it comes to settling their mind down.

A Process

As the days, weeks, and months go by, and they continue to question what they believe and develop new beliefs and to manage their thoughts, they could find that their life is different to how it was before. Not only this, but it could be a lot easier for them to handle the hurdles that appear.

To help with this, they might have also started exercising regularly, spending more time with friends and having very brief cold showers. Thanks to what they have achieved so far, then, it will be clear that if they hadn’t changed what was going on in their mind, their life wouldn’t have changed.

Stepping Back

However, someone else could try this approach and it might not have the same impact on them. If so, they could believe that this proves how ‘negative’ their mindset is and how ‘mentally weak’ they are and that they lack something that other people have.

Unlike those that try this approach and are able to make progress, they will be a lost cause. After this, they could end up feeling very low and wonder if their life will ever change.

A Different Angle

Assuming that this is what is going on for them, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are missing something that other people have. What it could simply show is that they are carrying a lot of pain and that this pain is undermining them.

The trouble is that due to how much of a focus there is on the mind, it is as though someone begins and ends with their conscious mind. Thus, if they have a ‘negative’ mind and are not mentally strong, it is because of what is taking place in this part of them.

Not a Surprise

Yet, if who they are is seen as beginning and ending with their conscious mind, it is to be expected that this part of them would be the point of focus. Nonetheless, in addition to their conscious mind, they also have an unconscious mind.

Said another way, as well as their frontal cortex, there are also other parts of their brain. What is going on for them outside of their conscious awareness and in other parts of their brain is having an impact on how they see themselves and others and on how mentally strong they are.

Going Deeper

When it comes to what is going on outside of their conscious sense of themselves and is behind the scenes, so to speak, there will be the pain that their brain has repressed. Their brain will have done this to allow them to keep it together and function.

Yet, even though this pain will have been repressed, it will still affect their conscious sense of themselves and how they experience life. Moreover, as they are finding it hard to be resilient, it is likely to show that their brain’s ability to keep this pain at bay is not very effective.

For Example

Meditating, having different beliefs and thinking positive, for instance, can aid in keeping this pain out of someone’s conscious mind and thereby, allow someone to have a different view of themselves and others and lead to greater resilience. Yet, what was knocking on the door, so to speak, won’t have been dealt with; it will have just been blocked out.

With that aside, this repressed pain can cause them to feel overwhelmed, have automatic and ‘irrational’ thoughts, feel bad and be anxious, among other things. This pain can be a consequence of what they have experienced and not resolved as an adult and when they were a child.

Living on the Surface

Ultimately, the brain’s priority is to allow someone to keep it together and function, so that they can pass on their genes. It is then not designed to make sure that they face what they have repressed and gradually become a more integrated human being.

With this in mind, it makes sense as to why there is such a focus on the conscious mind and why the unconscious mind is largely overlooked in both the mainstream and even when it comes to the helping professions. Without being aware of it and irrespective of how smart the intellect appears to be, an outlook and the numerous approaches that are available will be a consequence of the need to avoid pain.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, enmeshment, inner child, true self and inner awareness. With over three thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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