Have you been thinking anything along the lines of this since the break up?
"In my opinion everything about my former girlfriend is absolutely perfect, I would not change a single thing and I am confident that I will never find someone like her again."
This is extremely common for men.
This is the main thing. Thinking that this chick was more outstanding than any other girl you could be involved with in the future. That's not a fun thought. As a matter of fact it is a harrowing one. That is a big part of the reason you are feeling terrible right now, and you wish things could go back to how they were. Allow and be apprehensive of that.
To step into the role of devil's advocate, let me throw the following question to you. Have you heard or seen this kind of situation before:
"When I broke up with a girlfriend several years ago I couldn't stop thinking about how perfect she was, and worrying that I'd never find someone as good as that ever again. It's absurd now I look back on it. I've three girlfriends since then, and I was fonder of each of them than I was of that girl. It's as if my tendencies and predilections have mutated. I don't find that lady that unmarred anymore. It appeared to be some sort of temporary phase I was going through..."
This is also extremely common for men.
What's going on here? It's similar to a yo-yo effect. Your intentions move one direction, then it moves into a different direction.
Shouldn't a notion and the way you view someone be unflappable? Especially if your ex-girlfriend doesn't change, why would your thoughts about her change?
The elucidation is "No". Society and males do not always view things from the same angle. We are illogical. This is a normal way our minds work, not only in relationships, but in numerous facets of our lives.
In this case, we call this temporary prospect the "Perfect One for You" syndrome.
It is urgent to know that this is just a temporary perspective because it is also a hindrance to you starting to feel great about yourself and your life again. Handling this thought plays an important part in the process for getting over a break up for men.
The veracity is that hormonal transitions in our body when we are in love with someone cause our brains to focus on only the wonderful parts of people and to turn a blind eye on the bad parts. This is an indispensable qualification to allow for men and women to couple and tend to their children. It's basic biological and evolutionary science I'm talking about here. At this point it is not disputed in scientific circles.
Now let us concentrate on providing you with some insight.
Attempt this exercise right now, to affirm to yourself how unrealistic your viewpoint is. Try to do this exercise, if you can, with a friend who you are tight with and can remain objective or at least provide you with some outside perspective that. This will make it much more useful.
1. Take a slip of paper and write down a point-by-point list of all the sour memories you had with this former lover. This should include fights, disagreements, things she did to disrespect you, parts of her personality you disliked, times she may have distracted you or prevented you from doing things that are important to you etc.
2. Try to be laborious and unprepossessed and make a note of all details.
3. At this moment you need to take another sheet of paper and make a tally of all the enjoyable memories. Fun times you spent as a couple, unique experiences, all the aspects of the romance that made your life richer and happier.
Now examine these two tables. Is or was she beyond compare? Objectively speaking? Be fair with yourself. Does the relation you've had, "Perfect One for You", correspond with the perspective shown in these lists?
If you've done this exercise in a suitable manner the rebuttal is "No".
The tangible truth is that there is no "perfect girl" for you. There are numerous dames in the world that are in sync with you and who will fit you to a T. None of them will be paradisiacal.
But, when you are in love, anyone of them will seem to be the right one for you.
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Girlfriend Dumped Me".