My Ex Is Mad At Me: My Ex Is Angry and Ignoring Me

Just when you think you've finally made contact and he or she's responding to your emails and phone calls, your ex suddenly starts screening your calls and then answering them later or text messaging instead of calling back. Next thing you know, he or she isn't even answering your emails or text messages. But when you call him your ex, he or she seems very happy and the conversation is very friendly. But you never hear from him or her again. No text message, no emails, no phone calls, no nothing.

You call and he or she never picks up the phone, you leave messages and you never get a call back. After several calls and left messages, you finally get through. And surprise! He or she is very happy to hear from you and the conversation is again very friendly and even flirtatious. But deep inside you are going completely nuts because of your ex's game playing!

Men and women who actively or passively play these kinds of games do it for a (false) sense of power that thrives on exploiting people's fear of being deprived of something they need badly. By creating an artificial "scarcity" the person controls the one who fears being deprived.

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If your ex still has residues of resentment and anger related to things that happened in the relationship or during and after the break-up he or she may not want to feel powerless and helpless again. By playing these games your ex is trying to see how much power/control he or she can have over you. The more high emotions followed by low emotions he or she can provoke in you -- regardless of which emotions are provoked -- the more power/control your ex feels he or she has over you.

You have three ways of dealing with your ex's game playing:

1. You can say to your ex "I am not going to waste my time on someone who doesn't reply my emails/text messages and doesn't bother to call me once in a while. Good-bye."

This stops the power-play by cutting it off right at the source. The downside of this is that you risk losing your ex once again.

2. You can say to your ex "I really enjoy your emails/ text messages/talking to you/spending time with you but it seems that you have more important things to do. Let me know when you have time for me".

If the message is communicated convincingly, it will neutralize the power playing strategy because what you are doing is taking away your ex's source of control. By giving up whatever your ex is trying to deprive you of -- attention (time and effort). The message you're sending is "I enjoy your attention but I don't NEED it that much."

But sometimes even this may not work if you can't follow through on giving up your fear of being deprived. At best your attempts will be seen as a bluff and at worst a counter-power play.

What if your lover has moved on? Here's how to get them back.

3. You can say to your ex "Look, I really enjoy your emails/ text messages/talking to you/spending time with you but I also realize that you need your own space and alone time. But can you at least...

... send me email/text message every three days to let me know how you are doing. It'll give me peace of mind to know you are okay."

... let me call you once a week. It'd be nice to catch up on the week's happenings.

... spend every other Saturday night with m. It'd be nice to get re-acquainted and do some fun things together -- again.

This shifts the interaction from a control mode to a cooperative mode. It's neither a defensive nor provocative maneuver because what you are offering in a win-win situation.

For this to work you need a creative mind, lots of patience and a willingness to make positive influence one small step at a time. But of course if your ex is so determined to play you on and doesn't really care about you, or even doesn't want to get back together with you, not even this will work.

Bottom line, do not allow yourself to be pulled into power-play games. I know -- easy said than done. Sometimes it's hard to stop yourself from the urge to turn the tables and play a player. The problem with this is that playing mind games only leads to more game playing and things usually end badly -- plus it keeps you off-balance and perpetually insecure.

By refusing to play "Gotcha, You S.O.B." or ""Gotcha, You B***H" and instead choosing a new and different way of interacting, you set a tone that changes the dynamics of how you relate to each other.

If you respond in a disciplined, consistent and positively engaging manner, your ex's attitude towards you will slowly start to change.

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If you're wondering why the love you had for your ex isn't going away, even long after the two of you parted ways, you'll be happy to know that you are perfectly normal. There are as many reasons why your love lingers as there are for falling in love in the first place, but some of the more universal reasons are as follows:

Love Never Dies
If you're finding your love is still there, it really may have been love, not infatuation, or lust - while those could have definitely been a part of your relationship, and are commonly mistaken for the big "l" word, they are hardly the same. But true love, well - it never dies. That's the beauty of it. So you may just have to get used to your love, and that's okay to do.

It Takes a While
Sometimes, it takes a whole lot longer than we want it to take. Getting over someone, letting them go and moving on in your life are things that you can and will do - eventually. But you'll find that you're going to do it on your heart's schedule, and sometimes, our hearts just take time.

It's Lovely to Be in Love
You may find that you actually still love your ex because you're unwilling to give up the feeling of being in love. And who can blame you - it's truly one of the greatest things we can ever feel in our life. It's lovely to be in love, and until you find a new avenue for your affections, you may just need to hold onto that love you had until you're ready to move on.

What if your lover already left you? Here's how to get them back.

Change Rewrites Your Brain
When you break up with someone with whom you were close, your brain literally has to rewire it's neurological avenues to incorporate the change fully. You may feel that your entire reality has changed without them in your life, and that's because it has. That sort of change causes you to physiologically change also, and your love may just linger until your brain rewires itself.

You Miss the Good Times
Especially if it was a good relationship for the most part, you may find you still love your ex because there are so many good times and good memories associated with that love, that it's ingrained in you. They've truly become part of your life. But just because the good times have stopped, the love doesn't vanish - and it may stay forever as a part of those good times spent.

They Taught You Something Valuable
If your ex taught you something that was so valuable that you're a change person because of it, or if through knowing them you've incorporated attitudes that will carry you farther in your own life, it's natural to continue to love someone who's been so positively influential, even when they aren't directly influencing you anymore.

We All Need to Trust Someone
If your ex was one of the only persons who you had in your life that you felt close to, or felt you could trust, your love may be intact to save you from utter aloneness. We all need to trust someone, and even if that someone is gone forever, the closeness you had was real, and the love you had was just as real - and what's that real, just doesn't vanish.

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A breakup does not happen overnight. It is a series of catastrophic events that ultimately result in a breakup. Having said this it is still possible to reverse the unfortunate incident and get back your ex boyfriend. This is not going to happen immediately but will require careful planning and execution of tactics and strategies. Here is how and what you should do to get him back before it is too late.

Treat the breakup seriously
He walked away from the relationship because he had some reasons. Now you have to show that you respect his decision and give him time to realize how silly his reasoning was. If he wants to distance himself so be it.

Make the changes
You know the reasons as he must have discussed it with you before the eventual breakup. Now that you are not with him use this time to make the changes he wanted. Don't announce to anyone what you are doing but make the changes in a discreet way and let others notice the change.

Thank him
When you meet him for the first time post breakup, thank him for showing you the mirror. This will shame him and he will feel awful for having treated you badly.

Get him back as friend first
Be magnanimous and offer him a hand of friendship. If he accepts it then don't show any emotions but be calm. Keep meeting him on and off and renew the connection. Once your friendship is cemented you have to take the next step.

Impress him with your new avatar
Now that you have changed as a person he will be impressed with you. Make sure that you showcase all the changes whenever you are with him. For example if he always complained about you being fat then make sure he sees your sexy athletic legs every time you meet him. If it was your casual attitude that bugged him then show him how serious you are now about your profession or your studies.

What if your lover has moved on? Here's how to get them back.

Become his best friend
This changed personality of yours will draw him ever closer to you. He will soon become your best friend and will spend considerable time with you. Now you have to begin sharing details about your personal life with him.

Now give him a shock
One fine day introduce him to a guy you are dating casually. He will surely question you about this new guy you are seeing. Tell him that you have decided to move on as your biological clock is ticking and you cannot afford to wait forever. This will send him a strong message and he will be forced to make a decision. Nine times out of ten he will come back to you.

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Even though the past few months were terribly painful and disappointing in many ways, you still can't seem to get your ex out of your mind or heart! This not only proves that you love him and want him back. Before you decide to do anything to get him back, go over your feelings and be honest with yourself. If you still feel it is worth it to get him back, then the following tips will tell you why he still has this magnetic hold over you.

You're a glutton for punishment
Even though he has treated you badly and has even cheated on you at times, you feel it is easy to forgive and forget. You find that you are willing to take him back every time because you can't live without him and are willing to make allowances for him, even if you are the person getting hurt all the time. This shows that you are willing to take this sort of treatment as long as it means that he is with you.

You gave it your all and want it anyways
If you look back and think that despite the unhappy times and storms that came your way, you had the most fantastic times of your life because you were with him and don't want to give it up. If you have put in your best at all times and have found that you still want to do that no matter what it takes, it proves that he has a hold over you.

You know that he was not to blame for the breakup
If you are being honest with yourself and know that your ex is not the one who is guilty of breaking you up, then it is the guilt and regret inside of you that makes you admit and want reconciliation with him. The fact that you want to put things right and be given a chance to change things show that you really care for him.

What if your lover already left you? Here's how to get them back.

You know that deep down he cares for you too
If you have a gut feeling that your ex still has deep feelings for you then you will do everything you can to change the circumstances and have him back in your life. Because you know that the good times and memories shared in the past are too strong to forget you are filled with positive hopes that he will get back with you and this knowledge has kept your love for him burning brightly.

He basically shares your dreams and hopes
You have been together for many years and you know this man inside out. The fact that he shares your dreams and hopes despite the differences and the split, makes you still harbor a strong love for him and you want a second chance with him.

He has spoiled you for others
No matter how much you have tried to forget him by dating other men, you have found that they are not up to scratch and you can't help comparing them to your ex! This shows that you are still in love with him and he will always be your ideal guy.

You are a one man woman
You may pretend to have moved on after the break up but the fact that you find it hard to settle down with someone new proves that you are in love with your ex and want him back. He has always been the one and only man for you and you can't change the fact that you are a one man woman after all!

There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your ex lover back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit What to Say to Get Your Ex Back to find out more.

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Now you can stop your break up or lover’s rejection...even if your situation seems hopeless! Visit How to Get Your Ex Back

There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your ex lover back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit What to Say to Get Your Ex Back to find out more.

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