My Husband And I Argue All The Time: Why Does My Husband Pick Fights With Me - When Couples Argue Constantly

Constant fighting in marriages is very common - this is why there are a lot of wives complaining, "my husband and I argue all the time." The fact is, while fighting is common like I said, divorces are also very common! This means that if you don't realize the problem and act, the arguing might go worse and start really damaging your marriage. The fact that you are reading this article means that you are aware there is a problem - so keep reading to find out what to do.

If you want to avoid the damage fighting with your husband all the time would do to your marriage, you first have to understand what kind of damage it will inflict. Arguing constantly makes both of you prone to avoid conversations just because you are afraid it might lead to yet another fight. This means you will talk less and less to your husband, which will end communication. And once communication is over, your marriage is over. So, in short words, if you say "my husband and I argue all the time", it is an important situation because it could end communication.

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The best way to avoid this situation is to make sure you never "avoid" talking to your spouse. It doesn't matter if it's small talk - the lines of communication have to be open at all times. And when you are having a conversation on more serious subjects (which you think could lead to fights) it's imperative that you use blame-free language. That is, when you are speaking your mind about an issue in your marriage, it's going to make a big difference if you try to use "I" 's more than "you" 's. For example, "you never kiss me anymore" is a blame statement; but "I need more affection" is a blame-free statement that is obviously aimed at a solution.

It's a positive sign that you are acknowledging the problem by saying "my husband and I argue all the time", instead of just ignoring it. Admitting that there is a problem is half way solving the problem, and saving your marriage from lasting damage.

Even if both spouses love each other sincerely, at times they might find themselves getting more and more distant from each other and getting close to a divorce. But like me, you too can take some steps into saving your marriage and turning it into a satisfying relationship.

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It's true that every marriage is different and there are many causes of marriage failure. However, there are 3 failures that most experts agree are common problems in most marriages today; Communication, Sex and Money.

The following information touches on these 3 causes that lead to marriage failure and what can be done to prevent them or work through them if you are already struggling with any of these.

Communication Marriage Failures - Communicating effectively is the skill that is most essential in creating and keeping a lasting and loving relationship. Its importance in maintaining a healthy relationship is often under appreciated by most couples.

Most couples talk at each other instead of to each other. The problem is that most times instead of listening to their spouse his or her mind is busy figuring out what to say next to steer the conversation where they think it should go. There is also a tendency by some spouses to always offer advice or fix a problem without clearly hearing and understanding what the issue at hand is.

Communication is vital in maintaining a healthy marriage and avoiding marriage failure because it can hurt your relationship in various ways. Sometimes not communicating i.e., staying silent says more to your spouse than the words you speak.

If you want to avoid communication problems that can cause marriage failure practice these;

• Express how much you love each other through your words, actions and expressions. Don't assume your spouse knows how much you love him or her.

• Be complimentary when things are done well and don't rip your spouse to shreds when he or she has failed at something. You should be your spouses' biggest supporter.

• Tell your spouse when you feel lonely, down and misunderstood. Don't leave it up to your spouse to guess why you are acting the way you are or reacting the way you are.

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• Don't invalidate your spouses' being by telling him or her that what they are feeling is not a big deal or for real. If your spouse feels a certain way about an issue, then it's real and you need to respect their feelings and help them get through it.

Ineffective communication is one of the leading causes of marriage failures but can easily be overcome with persistence and purpose.

Sex Marriage Failures - Sex is such a sensitive marriage failure issue because it's so personal. The problem most couples have is discussing the issue and clearing up any misconceptions they have. One spouse may feel as though all love is gone because intimacy isn't like it used to be.

Not dealing with the issues can lead to doubts, fears or resentment and snowballs into other problems in the marriage.

It's important that you talk it through and not let your spouses' lack of interest or spontaneity result in you shutting down and no longer being interested.

Money Marriage Failures - There are those married couples who struggle in this area because they have different ideas of how their money should be spent. It becomes a bigger issue when money is tight and priorities are not agreed upon. This leads to tension and fights as couples try change the mindset of their spouse.

I find that most couples resolve their marriage problems related to money when they realize that money and material things are not more important or valuable than their spouse. This happens when they learn to appreciate their spouse to the point where they are ready to place their spouses' happiness ahead of their own.

If you struggle with this area in your marriage, don't let this lead to the failure of your marriage. Learn how to communicate and compromise better and you will easily overcome this struggle.

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So you caught your partner having an emotional affair... what happens next?

You're probably very confused with the discovery that your spouse has been cheating behind your back, even if only in an emotional affair... it still hurts.

The pain, the disappointment, is seemingly impossible to bear. Again, the question is, what do you do? And more importantly, how do you cope?

What It Feels Like to Find Out Your Spouse Is Having an Emotional Affair

Everything may seem all wrong after you discover your partner cheating on you. Believe me. I know it's hard because I have once been through, or the victim of an emotional affair as well.

The relationship that my wife got involved in was an emotional one, which, in my book, is just as bad in some ways as if it had been a physical one. I was torn apart by the revelation that the woman I love most had done something to betray me. I didn't know at that time how to fix our marriage or if we could ever go back to the way we once were.

I though about things thoroughly and finally, I came to the conclusion that my love for my wife and the commitment that I put into our marriage was something that outweighed my discovery of her emotional affair. That was when I decided to accept and forgive at the same time.

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It was really difficult on my part to accept the fact that I was cheated on. Every so often, the feelings of hurt and betrayal would surface and would engulf me in misery. I tried to overcome all of these by being more objective.

How I Began to Save My Marriage

I tried to understand what had happened in our marriage to push my wife to do such a thing. I read books and online materials about coping after you've caught your spouse having an emotional affair.

I tried to see clearly and not to screw up my focus with my personal feelings of hurt and helplessness. As I dug deeper into the issue, I started to realize that my wife was not the only one at fault. In fact, I think I had an important role that led her to do such a thing. I was the one who drove her away by ignoring many of her needs.

This realization helped me to have a more in-depth understanding of my relationship with my wife and how I should fix it. I really wanted to go back to how we had been, so I decided to push the past behind us. There was irrevocable damage in our relationship but should it drive us apart? I didn't want it to, so I made an effort to forget and to move on.

Why Saving a Marriage After an Emotional Affair Isn't Easy

Biting the bullet and moving on may sound easy, but I'm telling you, it's not. There were even many times when I wanted to seek revenge by cheating on her as well by finding my own person to have an emotional affair with.

Other times, the feelings of pain would creep back in and it felt as if I really hated her for hurting me.

But all of that is behind us now for the most part. I have changed for the better and so has she. We have a deeper relationship now and our marriage has become stronger because of what we were able to overcome as a couple. Indeed, there is hope after an emotional affair.

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When your spouse wants to leave and you want to save the relationship you're going to feel overwhelmed. Hearing the person you married tell you that they want out of the marriage is devastating. This is particularly true if you have visions of growing old with them and creating memories for years to come. You have two choices in a situation like this. You can either give in to what they believe they want or you can fight to save your marriage. If you're intent on rebuilding the relationship, then you need to begin right now, before it's too late.

One of the very first things you need to do when your spouse wants to leave is listen to their reasoning. Blindly telling them that it's not an option because you want to work on the marriage isn't going to go over well. That's essentially quieting their needs. In other words, you're ignoring what they feel and instead dictating what their future should be. You have to listen to what they're feeling and sharing with you. Perhaps their need for space is coming from a recent conflict that you two had that they are having trouble moving past. Maybe they're feeling bored within the relationship because you've become so preoccupied with work or other things and they feel neglected. You won't know what you are dealing with until you talk with and listen to your spouse.

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To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

You then have to address the problem head on. Hiding behind a veil of defensiveness isn't going to help you at all. If your spouse tells you that there are things you are doing, or are not doing that is causing them to want to leave, you need to make some changes. It's so easy to become lazy within the marriage. You need to learn from what they share with you and then take some steps in the right direction towards positive change.

If your spouse is very insistent about wanting to leave, you're going to have to seriously consider it. That's not to say that you should help them pack their things but listen to why they feel they need space and then suggest a trial separation. What often happens when a couple separates temporarily is they come to a quick realization about how deeply they really do love and need one another. They are then able to work through their problems because they feel more motivated. It's a serious step though and not one that either of you should take lightly, so talk it through and then decide as a couple.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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