My Husband Bullies Me Emotionally: Can An Emotionally Abusive Husband Change

My Husband Bullies Me Emotionally: Can An Emotionally Abusive Husband Change

The following case-study about how to deal with an emotional abuser demonstrates what can be achieved by practicing the simple self-help practice higher-consciousness healing. It is a typical result and everybody can achieve similar results with higher-consciousness healing.

Heidi (42 years) is a highly educated woman who came to see me because she felt very unhappy in the relationship with her husband who had an uncontrollable temper. He emotionally abused her by calling her horrible names and in the past he had been violent with their two children. The atmosphere in her family was very tense and over the past few months Heidi had simply kept quiet to avoid any form of conflict with her husband. She was now considering divorce but she was extremely frightened by this prospect and severely depressed.

In our first session I taught Heidi how to dissolve her anxiety with the help of the anti-anxiety breathing and a healing-symbol. When she came back she said that this 'meditation' had helped her a lot and that she didn't feel the amount of anxiety and despair that she had felt before. She actually had had moments when she felt 'alright'. However, Heidi was still undecided and frightened about the prospect of a divorce.

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I asked Heidi to sit on different chairs and imagine that it was five years from now and that she was divorced on the first chair and still married on the second. Not surprisingly, Heidi discovered that she would be much happier if she left her destructive marriage. At the end of the session I helped her to receive a healing-symbol to overcome the suffering from confusion and fear about the divorce. I asked her to see herself in a firm bubble filled with loving light. I also asked her to see her husband in a similar bubble filled with loving light but not surprisingly Heidi was reluctant to do that because she felt so much anger towards her partner. I told Heidi that love is the big healer of the universe and anger would tie us to an abuser instead of setting us free.

When Heidi came back after two weeks she reported that these methods were so effective that she felt more calm and peaceful than she had felt in years. All symptoms of her depression and anxiety had disappeared and she slept better than she had in decades. Another benefit was that a stiffness and chronic pain in her knee had dramatically improved. For years she had felt 'cold and shaky' inside and now she felt warm - which she thought was 'just wonderful'. Her fear about the divorce had decreased too - 'it's not the end of the world', she said. In parallel to Heidi's own improvement, her husband had become much more helpful and agreeable, in contrast to his usual behaviour. She was very surprised about this and I explained to her that this was the usual effect of using higher-consciousness healing with another person. Heidi and her husband both now made active steps to separate.

From that point onwards Heidi felt that she could cope on her own. When I spoke to her two months later on the phone she said that she was 'steady as a rock' despite the fact that her son had become seriously ill.

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They say forgiveness is one of the most difficult things to give, even in married couples. It calls for humility, understanding, acceptance, and even pride. Very often, it's the pride that hinders people to forgive and forget the hurts from the past. Forgiveness has 2 parts - letting go and moving on. It's not enough to say that you have forgiven your partner, but then, deep inside you, you're still holding on and dwelling on the misgivings. Forgiveness could only be completed once you have learned to move on and forget the misgivings. In a marriage counseling session, you will learn why it's difficult to forgive.

Lack of understanding

The aggrieved spouse cannot understand the reason for hurting. It may be petty stuff like forgetting to pick up the clothes from the dry cleaner to the most serious ones, like say, an affair. There are many reasons why people get hurt and it can happen any time. The sad thing is if you cannot understand why your spouse has hurt your feelings because of lack of open communication.

Condones a behavior

From a marriage counseling session, you will learn that another factor for unwillingness to forgive is the belief that forgiveness signifies that what your spouse did was okay. The aggrieved party must open up about the offense, talk about it and express that what your spouse did was not okay, yet you are willing to forgive and forget about it.

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Pride

If you think so highly about yourself, then it would be very difficult to give forgiveness. If you believe that it is only your partner who is capable of erring, and not you, then it is you who have some issues to resolve. Understand yourself and accept that all human beings commit mistakes, and you or your spouse are not an exemption from the rule.

Score-keeping

From a marriage counseling session, you will realize how at times, getting even is the response you offer to your spouse who has hurt you. Instead of focusing on forgiveness, you all the more add fuel to the flame by getting even.

Guarantees

There are no guarantees in life. When you begin a relationship, you cannot be guaranteed that it would be successful and lead to an everlasting happiness. Life is not a fairy tale. It is a struggle and in order for a relationship to work, learn how to forgive your spouse. Keep in mind that if you forgive, it is not a guarantee that the behavior that led to a fight will not happen again.

Power play

Stop playing "powerful" - a valuable lesson you can get from a marriage counseling session. It's difficult to give forgiveness because the aggrieved spouse thinks that if it is given, then you lose control over the offender. Most of the time, the offender finds ways on how to please the aggrieved spouse to be forgiven. Sometimes, this behavior leads to power plays, so forgiveness is held back.

Humans will continue to commit mistakes and forgiveness should be given wholeheartedly for a marriage to survive and in marriage counseling therapy, you'll be taught on how to be forgiving to each other.

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It's impossible to say if there's a more awkward, heartbreaking moment in life than when one spouse tells the other that they don't want to be married any more, especially if there was no warning and the announcement just came out of the blue. With no time to prepare mentally, emotionally, or financially, one spouse finds themselves being left behind and facing a divorce they don't want. If this happened to you, the situation would seem totally bleak, the blow to your ego nearly insurmountable, and worries about the future would run rampant. Wouldn't you like to know how you can "Save my marriage"? It can be done, you know, with the help of an experienced marriage coach.

No one can promise that every marriage can be saved, because a lot depends on the circumstances. However, there is a chance, and you won't know how you stand until you visit with the coach. If the person you choose believes that your marriage can be saved, then you owe it to yourself to follow his strategies to the letter in order to resurrect your relationship. If he doesn't feel that the union can be saved, he can also teach you techniques for coping with the inevitable and facing the future. With a caring coach by your side, you won't have to deal with the issues without support.

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It can be emotionally-draining to have to cope with an unwanted divorce, a job, children, financial difficulties, and daily problems, such as car trouble or illness. No one, no matter how strong, is impervious to this type of pressure. You need someone who is on your side. Maybe your parents, siblings, and friends are offering their assistance, but no matter how well-meaning they are, they don't have the training to help you try and save your marriage. In fact, these people are usually more likely to say, "Good riddance" than they are to understanding why you want to salvage a precarious relationship.

The thought of divorce when you don't want it can be overwhelming, especially if you don't have anyone to turn to. Finding an online marriage coach can be the most positive step you take in trying to put your marriage back together. So if you want to stop divorce before it happens, today is the day to get yourself some help.

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Seeing your marriage on the verge of being ended, especially when you do not want it to, can be quite taxing on your well-being. If you truly enjoyed your marriage you will find it hard to let go of those precious memories of your marriage at its peak. I know this because I went through this myself and when it happened I wanted to do anything necessary to stop a divorce from happening.

You shouldn't get discouraged from hearing this as it still very possible to save your marriage because I was able to despite the odds against me. However, you should do your best to avoid the three D's - depression, devastation and desperation. If you are experiencing any of these you can potentially be putting your marriage at a further risk of ending.

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I say this because you will find yourself doing desperate things when you find out that everything else is not working. When you act desperate you will send signals to your spouse that you are trying too hard to save the marriage. You may find yourself crying and begging for your spouse not to leave you. It only makes you seem pathetic - and no one wants a pathetic spouse. These desperate actions are one of the top killers of marriage, so do your best not to employ them.

Allow yourself to become familiar with human psychology and use it to your benefit. Know that the begging and pleading only works against your efforts and makes you seem distasteful. Take note that people are only attracted to the things that they cannot have, not the things that are easily available to them. When you put on the desperate act you make yourself easily available.

Therefore, the first step to take is to ensure that you can balance your emotions and keep them in check. Once you do this you are well on your way to saving your marriage.

Now Listen Carefully-

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