My Husband Controls Me: My Husband Controls Everything I Do - My Husband Wants To Control Me

Are you married to a bossy or controlling spouse? Why do some couples control and boss each other around? People who control others with words, threats, fist, lies, and manipulative behavior usually have underlying insecurities within them. Perhaps they are usually afraid of losing something or someone. They have to get to the bottom of these insecurities to understand how to accept the things they cannot change and the courage to only change the things they can - themselves.

The Bossy and Controlling Husband

Most men rely on their wives to take care of many aspects of the home except for if the roof needs repaired or if wood needs to be chopped, stuff like that. But some husbands micromanage how the wife is managing the home and he ends up being bossy and controlling doing it. Unless your wife is just a lazy slob who sits around on the couch watching soaps and eating bonbons all day, you need to leave her alone.

Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. (Ephesians 5:25) In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. (Ephesians 5:28)

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A loving husband should not control his wife with strong words but be the man of his marriage. Controlling husbands usually feel insecure about their position as the man of the home. In many instances the wife is also bossy and controlling, which leaves him feeling devalued and under-appreciated. The more disrespected he feels the more controlling he gets. This is a vicious cycle in marriage, but it can be rectified when husbands take back what belongs to them - their headship position in the marriage.

Apply the wisdom and understanding that God has given you. God has given you strength and courage to be the man of your home and marriage, and to love and protect your wife. Most women don't have a problem with their husbands being lovingly firm with them. But they do have a problem when their husbands demand, control, and boss them around for their own insecure reasons. Where is the wisdom in that?

The wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and insincere. (James 3:17)

If a husband has to control his wife for her to accept his masculine influence then something is askew with the relationship. Or maybe something is wrong with her attitude. In a healthy marriage a man shouldn't have to boss or control his wife in any way - they should be communicating with each other instead. Use the wisdom God has given you and make it so your wife will want to support your guiding direction. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. (1 Corinthians 7:3)

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It's no secret that most marriages fail. That in itself probably won't make you feel better especially if you are the one trying to overcome marital problems alone. Are you waking up in the middle of the night asking yourself how do I save my marriage? The good news is that it may not be too late for new beginnings.

If your partner has become unresponsive to your attempts to discuss the issues it is more difficult to make headway. It takes two partners to create the demise of a marriage, one person though has the ability to move the marriage back in a positive direction and save it.

Up to this point it has been the two of you alone in your strife. You will need outside advice and direction that is consistent with your current situation from someone who has gone before you. Many couples will seek counseling and in some instances it is beneficial.

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More often in counseling a polarity will occur in the relationship and the struggle becomes greater. Two other drawbacks to counseling is that both partners must be willing to pursue it with open minds and it will get very expensive in a short period of time.

It is possible to begin the process toward new beginnings with your partner without their participation. It is also important to be aware of the activities and attempts to draw your partner in that will actually have the opposite effect and push them away.

The first step in overcoming any marital problems is the decision that you want the relationship to work. To weather the storm and the inevitable ups and downs along the way you will need to make that commitment to yourself.

It has taken both of your efforts to get here. One person taking the initiative to make positive changes can make the difference in a relationship. With the proper assistance you will be on your way quickly to restoring your relationship.

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Conflicts in marriage can become frequent when not settled the right way and at the earliest time. They can be blown out of proportion to the extent of affecting your marriage and family relationship negatively. The next thing you know it, you're already contemplating filing a divorce.

But should you really go for divorce just because of this? Can you not stretch your patience more and find ways to save your marriage for the sake of your kids? Don't you love your kids enough that you will decide on separating from your spouse?

You may have been in a difficult situation long enough and have sought counseling as well. But why not try a little harder to be more tolerant of your spouse and be more understanding. It won't hurt to do this if it's for the good of your children and the family you have long wanted to have.

Religious and relationship experts will agree that saving your marriage for the sake of your kids is the right thing to do. Marriage therapists suggest that couples, even before they have children, should already work out their so-called lifestyle compatibility issues. This will help them get to know each other on a deeper level with regards to their beliefs about politics and government, family and work life as well as religion. In short, proper planning is essential in order for couples to stay strong in the face of marital problems. They need to be mature enough to support their family and keeping it intact for the long term.

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Couples who put their children as top priority in their lives will and should find a way to stay together. They would always put the interest of their kids first over their own needs. When both are committed to raising their family the best way possible, there is a greater chance for the couple to be more understanding and tolerant of each other.

When you have a child or children, parents should take extra effort to keep the family intact. Avoid being impulsive in making decisions that can affect your family and most especially your children. Always take your kids into consideration in the steps you take with regards to your marriage.

Marriage therapists are suggesting certain steps you can take to change your relationship for the better. One way is to write down your thoughts and your goals for your marriage. For example, you can list down the top three things you want to change in your marital relationship. They will become the basis for creating your future goals.

Another step you can take is to focus on your goals as a couple and family. Determine the issues that you often face and translate them into goals. When you are able to figure out these complaints and problems, you can then take the necessary steps to improve on those areas.

Splitting up should only be your last recourse. This decision should only be made when you've done everything you can to save your marriage yet your children continue to suffer. And it should always be a mutual decision.

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Being ignored in your own home is one of the worst feelings in the world. People are social creatures and they want to feel like they belong, so when you are a wife asking yourself "Why does my husband ignore me?" it's a pretty serious issue. There shouldn't be any blame put on you, but if you are going to change this you are going to have to rethink about the way you communicate with your husband.

Men and women think in two totally different ways, us wives want to be loved and cherished forever, while your husband needs to feel like he's respected. Chances are, there are something things that were said at one point in time that were misunderstood by your husband and over time he has ducked back into his shell to protect himself from more damage.

The things you may have said were possibly made just for small talk, but little by little innocent comments like "Nice car," and "What a gorgeous house," may have made your husband feel like you didn't think he made enough money.

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Another example of communication like this would be sarcasm. You may be teasing your husband about the lack of hair on his head or the fact that his beer belly has gotten bigger, but little by little these comments have eaten away at him and made him feel that you don't respect him.

In some cases, there are things that just cannot be helped at a certain point in time. In our marriage, I am the main bread winner and always have been. I know this has bothered my husband from day one, but there really is nothing I can do about this until he takes his future into his own hands. I can guide him in the right direction, but telling him what he should and shouldn't do only leads him to believe that I don't think his decisions are good enough. This has been a tough lesson to learn for me, but it definitely has helped the two of us.

I am not saying that you have to bow down to every whim your husband has, that would be blowing your marriage back into the dark ages. You just need to think about how something you say may be interpreted by your husband and possibly filter it to his language.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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