My Husband Doesn't Acknowledge Me: I Feel Like My Husband Doesn't Care About Me

Years ago when I was working in a mental health center, I served on a committee that was redesigning the communications systems. In one meeting, a committee member named Susan said, "The receptionists sound frantic when they answer the phone. They need to learn to give each caller their complete attention, even when they're multi-tasking."

Now that's a goal to aspire to. There's just one problem: It's impossible! Either you're multi- tasking or you're giving your full attention, but not both. Nonetheless, lot of us set out to achieve this impossible goal every day. At work you can get away with giving people less than your full attention. Generally speaking, your customers and colleagues are not seeking a deep emotional connection with you. But at home, it's a different story.

Stop for a moment and think: Does it feel like there's more tension in your marriage than there used to be? Does your partner seem to have developed a new set of annoying habits? Or do you just have a vague sense that your relationship isn't as juicy and satisfying as it used to be? Consider the possibility that there's an attention shortage in your marriage.

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Pure attention nourishes us in a way that nothing else can. One Saturday, I was working on a speech I had to give the next week and I was feeling the pressure. I heard a little voice calling from the doorway of my office: "Cla-a-a-aire!" It was my step- daughter, Kristina.

"Not now, Honey," I said, typing frantically, "I've really got to get this done."

A couple of minutes later, I heard it again. "Cla-a-a- aire!"

"Look, I'll talk to you in 5 minutes. I really need to concentrate now."


Exasperated, I finally stopped typing and turned to look at her. "All right, what do you want?"

Kristina smiled at me and waved. "Hi!" Then she scampered off.

We grownups are really no different. We all need regular doses of undivided attention to make us feel close, connected, and loved. Here are three guidelines for increasing this kind of attention in your marriage.

Say What You See
You might have taken communication classes where they tell you to ask open ended questions, such as, "How did you feel when your boss cancelled the project?" Questions are great, but sometimes you can make people feel more deeply understood by showing that you already get it.

Let her know you notice her behavior. "You seem pretty quiet today." And then go a step further by guessing how she feels: "I wonder if you're feeling disappointed because your boss cancelled that project." If you're right, she'll get that wonderful feeling that someone else understands. If you're wrong, just let her explain what's really going on. The key to this technique is humility. You wonder if that's how she feels. Never confuse this with telling her how she feels, a surefire way to sabotage your connection!

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Be Willing to Be Surprised
One casualty of a long-term relationship is listening with an open mind. After all, when you know someone well, you become accustomed to the themes in his conversation. And yet, he still has the capacity to surprise you, if you let him. He's still a growing, changing being who's learning new things and dealing with new concerns all the time.

To really give your partner pure attention, mentally set aside your expectations about what he's going to say and stay open. I guarantee you that he'll feel the difference.

Make the First Move
If there's an attention shortage in your marriage, you might be feeling like you're running on empty and you have nothing to give. And you're waiting for your partner to fill your tank, so that you can feel more loving. The trouble is, she's feeling exactly the same way. You could be stuck here for a long time! It only takes one of you to put your marriage back on the road to deeper connection. Why not decide it's going to be you?

Leave the multi-tasking at work. That's what it was invented for. At home, it's not about how much you get done, it's about how much you connect. Give your partner what he longs for most--your complete attention--and see what happens.

Pay Close Attention Here-

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Much is said about women losing their sexual drive after the onset of children, but in reality more and more women are being faced with their husband or partner losing their libido. So if you are in this exact same situation and your husband does not want to get intimate with you, then you need marriage saving advice for women in sexless marriages!

Firstly it is important to dispel a myth! Most women think that their partners have stopped being intimate with them because they don' t fancy them anymore, or that they have found somebody else! In a small minority of cases this may be true; however in the vast majority of cases, this is simply not true. If medical problems have been ruled out then nine times out of ten, it is because of underlying factors which are the route cause of loss of libido.

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One of the reasons may well be that your husband or partner has piled on a few pounds over the last couple of months and they may not feel comfortable with their body. In some cases they may even feel ashamed. If you think that this is the case then you need to deal with this situation quite delicately. Make a suggestion to the family that you are trying to get them to eat healthier. Start to cook more calorie controlled meals and exercise portion control. Go walking with your family, and maybe even join a gym. Doing these things will make your husband see that you care about him, and that you have his interests at heart. Also tell him that you love him for who he is and what he has brought to the relationship.

Generally in life we are all under a certain amount of pressure, and this is certainly true of relationships and marriage. However, there are times when the effects of outside pressures creep in to our relationships. This might be because your partner is worried about the security of his job, and all the added pressure that goes with that, such as, money worries, and providing for the family etc. This stress may cause a lack of intimacy. If this is the case then you need to be prepared to listen to your partner when he wants to talk. Tell him that whatever he is going through, you will face it together. A problem shared is always a problem halved. Once he feels he has your total support then he may begin to relax a little, and intimacy should return.

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Online relationship advice is very beneficial for those who are looking to maintain a healthy marriage, or add to the quality of their married lives. The tips are quick and sweet, and you are not pressed to judge or be judged by the one whose advice you seek. However, if you are seeking online relationship advice to help save your relationship, you must determine whether taking such advice will help or hinder your situation.

Here is a general description of the pool of people who would benefit the most from online information. This is not a specification, nor does it limit the benefits to only those mentioned. It merely proposes the ideal situation for anyone who fits the following description.

1) Short on time. If your days are packed with appointments, meetings, and commute from one place to another, online relationship advice will prove ideal for you. You will not have to work out the ways to schedule an online call, or have to worry about stepping out for it. You can choose to be as punctual as you like, and even save the information to re-read at a time preferred by you.

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2) Internet savvy. Knowing where and how to look for information is the key to finding quality on the internet. If you know how to verify what you are reading up on, and check out forums for accounts written by people in similar situations, you will be able to learn a lot more about your marriage and the best way to go about your personal goals.

If your use of the internet is limited to checking emails and replying to them, then you may fall prey to some money-making deals that do not offer as much value. Being internet savvy involves knowing how to filter the information you read, and apply all that is useful on yourself.

3) Ready for action. If you are an infamous procrastinator then online relationship advice may not be for you, for the simple reason that there is no one who is really checking up on your progress, or action that follows your resolve. In order to make the most of the advice you get online, you must log on to the internet with the firm resolve to act upon all that you read. Do what it takes to move yourself to save your marriage: take down notes, write post-its around your house, or write down your daily, weekly and monthly goals, anything that keeps you on track for your ultimate desired outcome.

This was a general description for those who are looking to seek online relationship advice that does not involve an actual human being available especially to help your particular case. Those who have relationship coaches experience a dramatic change in their relationships because of the sheer attention that they give to their marriages because of a constant prompter and cheerleader.

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Romance; we'd all like to think that every date in steady partnership will flow with milk and honey. Then we get a grip after a hard date or three.

To every partnership comes the evening; not of day into evening, but of the grounding that occurs to get the relationship back on the 'reality track'.

Romance is lovely whilst it lasts, but the façade is an unbearable blemish on truth the longer it goes. Once both partners are finally able to be free with one another - certain indiscretions accounted for and accepted - the relationship finally blossoms.

Upon advisement, and with permission to share, we've had some very hard dates, my wife and I. Times when she's ended up in tears and I've been left annoyed (firstly regarding the issue(s) that started it and later with myself for upsetting her). I'm reliably informed we've even had a 'mini-season' of hard dates!
And this is good to know.

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Firstly, because we got through that hard season and learned more about how to approach them. Dates are not dates unless they're fun; a necessary departure from the staid and pressured motioning of life.

They're not the occasion to bring up issues related to finances, the kids, work, other people or anything else, but otherwise it's a time to relax with our soul-mate and best friend.

I'm convinced I'm not the only cretin-of-a-man or woman around. I'm also convinced that all couples approach such troubled waters and have horrendous dates, retreats and holidays - good times planned otherwise turning disastrous.

We must hold on, learn, forgive, laugh and eventually try again.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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Author's Bio: 

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