My Husband Falls Asleep All The Time: Husband Falls Asleep When He Sits Down

One of the hardest parts about trying to improve your marriage intimacy can be getting your partner on board. When you're not feeling content in your relationship and want to see some changes, and you find that your partner isn't on the same page, the first step you need to take is to find common ground where you can both work together.

The most important thing to remember is that you don't have any control over your partner's actions. You can ask them to do certain things for you, you can let them know what you're not getting, you can tell them what direction you'd like your relationship to move towards. Yet, the bottom line is that you don't have control over their actions.

On the other hand, you do have control over your own actions, words and feelings. Instead of telling your partner what you'd like to see changed, be the change you want to see. If you feel that you no longer spend time together the way you want, instead of complaining about it or guilting your partner into spending time with you, change your actions in a way that will encourage them to actually look forward to spending time with you again.

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For example, take the couple that was having trouble getting their marriage intimacy on track due to crippling financial problems. Both husband and wife were out of work and eating into their savings just to stay afloat. With the best of intentions, the wife decided to book them the honeymoon suite at their local hotel. Her goal was to enjoy a relaxing weekend with her husband, far away from their daily problems.

From the outside, we can see that this wasn't a very well thought out plan. If the husband is under incredible stress and pressure because there was no income coming in, adding another bill to the mix isn't likely to help relax him. This might seem like an obvious fact, but if you take a moment to consider some of the ways you've tried to improve your marriage, you'd likely see that there were a few times were you've had the best of intentions - but have missed the mark.

In order to find effective ways to improve your marriage, you want to get out of your own head for a moment and consider your partner's issues. Remember - you don't have the ability to control their own actions or feelings. You can only control yourself. Think of what stresses them out, what's taking them away from your marriage, and work to find ways to alleviate that stress. When they find themselves with room to breathe, they're much more likely to be more enthusiastic about spending time with you.

The most important thing to remember when you're trying to improve your marriage intimacy is that it isn't all about you. You can't fix everything on your own, but you can find ways to take away some of the stumbling blocks that have made it difficult for your partner to get on the same page. Don't guilt or manipulate them into making change - find a way to ease their outside burdens so they have the time and emotional energy to spend working with you to improve your marriage.

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When you have been together in a marriage or relationship for years it is easy to take it for granted. Decades together can make you complacent. This can have a not so great end result.

It is important to not find yourself taking your good relationship for granted or assume that it is in great shape. You avoid this by going on dates every few weeks. You need to do this without fail on a regular schedule. Dates are an often overlooked thing that can bring help romance return.

Freshness in a marriage can be kept up with dating. There needs to be no pressure to drop a lot of money to impress your partner. Keeping it simple is just fine.

The goal is to spend time with just your spouse. You will remember what brought you together in the first place. You will feel the romance you had at the start.

Spouses, especially women, jump to conclusions if you do not keep going out on dates with them. It is easy to jump to the conclusion that your spouse does not go out on dates with you because they do not want to be seen with you or no longer feel the same way about them. You do not want this to happen.

Get a calendar out and set times to have dates on a regular basis. Spice it up with different ideas in addition to the usual dinner and a movie.

Get creative sometimes with your ideas. Do something you have never done together before. Go on a hike or do something that your spouse likes and maybe is not your favorite. Foster romance.

If you have children, be prepared to get a babysitter. Kids are no place for a date. It is time for you to be alone. Dates are good for your intimate relations and your entire relationship.

Are you tired of living in a relationship in which you feel neglected? Many married people find themselves feeling alone and rejected by their spouse. If you feel taken for granted, there's a way to change that now.

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There are more ways to cause damage to your marriage than there are ways to help heal your marriage. However, the tips to avoid divorce are effective when they come from tried and true sources. I believe that many marriages fail due to a passive approach to trying to get sympathy to save your marriage. Although this is one of the most natural reactions to marital problems it is more often than not the nail in the coffin.

To curl up and avoid the reality of life when love starts to fade only makes you less loveable and therefore speeds up this process. Even if you are the only one in your marriage willing to put forth the extra effort you can still make it work. Things are never what they seem. Always keep this in mind when you are dealing with your relationship. Nothing is certain unless you give up then it IS over.

In order to avoid divorce you must begin to heal yourself. Here I will outline certain critical steps to begin healing your marriage relationship and ultimately save your marriage.

1.GET MOTIVATED Get up, get out and get going with the rest of your life. Try and forget about what is going on in your married life if only for a few hours. This will get your blood flowing and your serotonin levels UP. You will gain a fresh perspective on the problem and ultimately gain some much needed energy. This is crucial to anyone suffering any emotional setbacks in life I do not know of one single problem solved by closing down being passive and waiting for things to get better. You have to make them better and you CAN do this.

2.IDENTIFY YOUR PROBLEMS Please try to take inventory of yourself first. Nothing gets solved when the blame game starts. So many times when couples are having trouble they project blame on each other. If he would only listen, She doesn't even try to. If you can try to find some things about yourself that you can change for the better this will begin to show in your life and then your relationship will improve.

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3.IDENTIFY THE ONE MAJOR ISSUE Laser focus your target issue so that you don't waste time on unimportant things that can be fixed once your back on track. It is very important to choose your battles wisely. Often times couple will transfer their concerns in order to avoid the real problem. You will have more luck focusing on the one thing that is breaking you apart and eliminate it, than just trying to fix everything all at once.

4.PRACTICE LISTENING When I suggest this I mean really listening not just waiting to respond and say what you have to say. If you can truly listen to your spouse then it might make things much easier to understand the underlying issues and concerns that are at play here. This can help in so many untold ways. We are all guilty of bad listening skills sometimes. It is always a continuing practice that never ends. The best listeners make the best communicators and creates great communications. Some really good conversations can come from those who are closest to us and really know the real us.

5. DEVELOP NEW TACTICS TO APPROACH YOUR CONCERNS Obviously the ways you address your problems are currently not working all that well. Find new creative ways that will work like using *I* statements when your asking for changes. When your spouse does something that your not happy with address it right away before it builds up and gets out of hand. Think about it first and then with calm and collective premeditation help them understand the reason behind your requests in place of pointing a judgemental finger.

6. BUILD CONFIDENCE This one ties in with number one and I believe getting motivated during times of emotional duress is most important. It can be so tempting to want to shut down and say 'hang it all' but as said this is a guarantee to failure. If you build confidence outside of your marriage relationship it will spill over into your love life. Figure out what it is you lack in your life outside of your marriage and get it. Create small goals at first then build to bigger ones which build confidence. This does wonders for your self-esteem. Having good self esteem changes everything about how you perceive the world around you. Suddenly things are possible where before you were helpless to change things.

7.APPRECIATE YOUR DIFFERENCES You hopefully did not get married with the intention of changing your loved one into someone or something they are not. A good way to avoid conflict is to try and understand what the other person is going through. Too many times people want to change others' behaviors that bother them. A good way to do this is to ask yourself the right questions like: "Why does this bother me so?" "Did it always bother me?" Sometimes these questions you ask yourself can resolve the issue before anything else is needed. Remember your vows and take them seriously. You should love this person for who they are inside.

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8. ASSERTIVE UNDERSTANDING Your self respect is beyond price and although you may feel at times that you will do anything to save your marriage you should not jeopardize your self integrity or respect.If your spouse truly loves and respects you they will not ask anything of you that would compromise your principals. There are times when you will have to put your foot down and say "I love you but I am not going to do that." When doing this be strong and help them to understand your situation in an assertive way. Demanding respect brings characteristics to the table that are appealing and attractive.

9.KNOWING WHEN SILENCE WORKS I am not suggesting ignoring in any way in fact just the opposite. If you are having problems some of the most impressive responses are silence. This can be unbelievably affective if used properly. It is an artform in communication technique to know at which point silence is the most appropriate and effective response. Sometimes when we argue the only way to handle it is to let it go.

The best advice I have ever been given is:

It can be hard to understand that the only way to let the clouded, muddy water clear is to just leave it alone.

10.HONESTY HONESTY HONESTY This one is tactic one to be placed before all things we do with our love. You must be honest with yourself with your spouse and with the whole of the relationship in order to fix things. Too many problems creep up and sprout out of dishonesty. Treat them like you would want to be treated is a golden rule for a reason.

Honesty is extremely rewarding and most of all unpredictable. I cannot tell you how many times being completely honest has helped my relationships when I thought it would doom it.

There are many things that we can do to help out our marriage relationship no matter how bad things might seem. The one thing that is certain to speed up failure is giving-up. Emotional pain is one of the strongest there is, you must overcome this. Whatever it takes outside help is suggested here. There have been amazing turn arounds in couples whom where thought destined to divorce.

You will need to implement the right course of action and get outside, objective information that works. Take action on this Save your marriage today system as it will help you to avoid divorce by improving the whole of your marriage.

Remember that anything is possible; and if you put your whole heart into something you can achieve what others see as miracles. As said the top tip to avoid divorce is to start the healing with you. You will need to find the right professional information if you are attempting this alone. It can be done, with the help people who know about what you are going through.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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Author's Bio: 

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Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

Do you have a unique situation? Discuss your marriage problems on our forum. We can help you find a great loving relationship! Go to: RelationshipTalkForum.com