My Husband Has A Female Friend Who Keeps Calling: My Husband Has A Close Female Friend

My Husband Has A Female Friend Who Keeps Calling: My Husband Has A Close Female Friend

What Is Emotional Infidelity?

According to statistics, approximately half to almost 95 percent of all who cheat cite emotional dissatisfaction as a motivation for stepping out on their wives. In recent years, increasing attention has been paid to a growing phenomenon known as emotional infidelity, a non-sexual, yet troubling trend in among couples dealing with infidelity.

Emotional infidelity is an affair of the heart that is ultimately more complex than a sexual affair. Emotional infidelity describes an intense emotional intimacy with someone other than one's committed partner or spouse. This person usually is an acquaintance, friend or coworker with whom an emotionally unsatisfied partner shares his or her feelings on a regular basis.

Emotional affairs start off innocently at first. Two affair partners may become good friends, innocently sharing lunches, taking business trips, and indulging in the heartwarming and aggravating day-to-day aspects of their lives at home.

At first, such things appear to be a normal occurrence within the acceptable evolution of a friendship between people, particularly if the affair partner is a coworker. The more you get to know someone, the more details you share about your life and vice versa. The problem with emotional affairs, however, is that emotional cheaters feel a greater sense of intimacy with the other person than with their current partner. An emotional cheater shares a greater continuum of their emotional spectrum and perspective with the other person instead of their boyfriend or girlfriend. The deep-seated, most private, quiet and most vulnerable sides of you are no longer the property of your spouse, but are instead handed over to another person who doesn't share a commitment with you.

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M. Gary Neuman, is a licensed marriage counselor who has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show several times to discuss the impact of sexual and emotional infidelity on relationships. During an appearance on Oprah, Neuman expertly discusses the lethalness of emotional infidelity.

"An emotional affair happens when you put the bulk of your emotions into the hands of somebody outside your [relationship]. We only have so much emotional energy; the more of it we spend outside of our [relationship], the less we have inside [of it]. After a while, we simply do not have enough emotions and love and caring and time for both [people]."

Why Do Emotional Affairs Occur? At the root of it all, emotional affairs are created to meet a key emotional need that has gone unfulfilled within the primary relationship. Maybe a wife feels her husband doesn't listen to her enough, so she has weekly lunches with the warm-spirited gentleman in your department who pats her hand and tells her how sweet and beautiful she are. Or his girlfriend doesn't appreciate the extra things he's done around the house or his attempts at being more romantic, so the girl in the apartment next door comes over regularly and chops it up with him over a plate of one of her home-cooked chicken Alfredo, reassuring him that he's a great guy. Whatever the lack of emotional satisfaction is, this affair becomes a second relationship, an emotional love affair that works as filler for their somewhat more distant, but ever present current one.

Can He Fall in Love with Her? Absolutely. The perfect recipe for turning an emotional infidelity into a sexual infidelity is accessibility, chemistry, an underlying emotional weakness or need, and a consistently increasing build upon the relationship. Remember, in an emotional infidelity, a person is already emotionally withdrawing from their primary relationship and funneling their energy into the affair, whether they consciously realize it or not.

It's said that women are somewhat more susceptible to the emotional affair, wanting the relationship to move from friendship to true love, fantasy to reality, whereas men tend to compartmentalize their emotional affair, adding it to their lives, but not truly interested in moving on with her. Despite what is assumed, emotional bonds and emotional infidelities aren't the sole property of either gender. Either sex in an emotional affair can feel overwhelmingly passionate feelings toward the other person, to an extent that your relationship with them can suffer - or even end when they chase what they feel is a better deal.

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What are Signs of an Emotional Love Affair?

- Going out to dinner or other places with their friend without telling you.

- Purchasing personal gifts with extra justifications.

- Withdrawal from you (the main partner) and the relationship.

- Showing decreased interest in sexual or emotional intimacy.

- Increased preoccupation with spending time with their friend; looking forward to the next time they will see them.

- Wondering what life "would be like" if they were seriously involved with the other person.

- Insisting that the other person is just a friend - even when they refuse to let you meet them, or begin limiting contact between the two of you.

- Feeling like the other person understands them more than their spouse or girlfriend.

- Sharing more thoughts, feelings and time with the friend than the partner.

- Keeping the friendship a secret from you, the spouse, of all people.

Can I Stop Emotional Infidelity? Can I Save My Relationship? Confronting emotional infidelity, like any other infidelity, isn't easy, but it is possible. You can begin by expressing your feelings about your partner's relationship with this other person, and explaining why it doesn't sit well with you. Perhaps talking to your partner about how you notice they seem more animated when they speak about that person or seem withdrawn from you after coming in from hanging with them will allow them to see that they may have been taking you and your relationship for granted while giving their energy elsewhere. It may also help that you remind them that they probably would not be okay if you displayed the same behaviors toward someone of the opposite sex.

After you're done, ask them if there is something you haven't provided them that their friend does. Listen with an open heart and mind; perhaps there are things you can do better to enrich the emotional intimacy of the relationship you have right now. Be aware things take time, and will require patience, persistence and faith to bring your relationship back on its proper course.

If, however, you decide not to confront emotional infidelity, be aware that you are passively allowing your partner to become more attached with another person, someone who may eventually take your place in his or her life. If you decide that you simply are not interested in working things out, and that this information doesn't bother you, perhaps it's time to re-evaluate the significance of your partner in your life, and prepare to move on.

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Marriage requirements is a comprehensive term covering the entire gamut of marriage. It does not merely refer to a legal requirement or the formality of a church wedding. It also includes the question whether the two people who seek to get married will suit each other. Marriage is a major event in anyone's life. Getting married is a serious matter and has to be treated so. Marriage is a life-long commitment between two people to live together by sharing one's life with the other. Getting married is a commitment and should be treated as such. Most of the people give a lot more thought to a joint mortgage than to getting married. Their logic is that divorce is easy and need not cost money while a mortgage may ruin a person financially. But they will not realize the pain of break up unless they have been in a relationship.

People are easily swayed by momentary impulses and get caught in a romance. The romance leads into a marriage in course of time. It is only when they start living together that some people understand the difference between dating and living together. It is not long before they decide on a break up. Sometimes one person decides to walk out of the marriage to the shock of the other. At other times, both the parties agree on a break up. Perhaps that is the only thing on which they happen to agree!

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Unfortunately, people do not walk away from a marriage free. While initially they may feel free, relieved of a burden, they will soon find that the engulfing pain and grief will not subside for long. Divorce is not a simple separation. It is a symbol of a failed life. It signifies the death of your dreams. And nothing can cause us more grief than the shattering of our dreams. It is a surprising fact that while before getting divorced, people regret their marriage, after getting divorced, they regret the divorce! If marriage requirements had been considered in the beginning itself, either the marriage or the divorce would have been avoided. In either case, you would have been happier.

If you are yet to get married, think calmly about you and your lover and decide whether you two will make a happy couple. Have a frank talk with your lover and get a clear picture about the expectations and limitations of each. A break up before getting married is less painful than a divorce. If you are married, you should focus on saving the marriage and stopping the divorce at any cost. You can do this with a better understanding between the two of you.

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How often in our marriages and relationships do we deal with conflict? Every day we are confronted by some level of conflict in our day. It could be a tough day at work or school, a difficult time with another family member or friend, perhaps even ongoing financial strains. We can change the course in five minutes.

When we're headed home and about to encounter our spouse or partner for the first time how do we feel? Are we still carrying the stress of the day on our shoulders or are we able to rise above it prior to our first moments together?

We've had a difficult day and the weight is still upon us, do we stop for a moment to consider what kind of day our spouse or partner may have had? Most likely we just charge forward, our minds racing and with no regard for anyone around us. This leads to our re-entry with our spouse or partner. What a way to begin an evening with our loved ones.

Our point of re-entry or our re-integration to our home life is a most important time. The first five minutes together will dictate the general direction our time together will progress. Taking advantage of the first five minutes and viewing it as an opportunity to unwind and decompress will move mountains in a relationship.

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There are ways to shift the initial focus and keep the mood light until such a time when you can have a meaningful conversation with your partner or spouse. Just imagine the feeling of coming in from an exhausting day and having a spouse or partner greet you with a positive affirmation or action when everything up to that point in your day has been nothing short of difficult? Imagine turning that situation around from your spouse or partner's viewpoint and you are the one walking in after their tough day?

It's vital to both of you to allow for the five minute rule, acknowledge each other in a positive way and give yourselves a few minutes to assess the condition of your hearts and minds before trying to accomplish anything meaningful in discussion. Discuss this rule with your partner, don't disguise your intentions but allow them to be transparent. Over time it will become second nature to both of you.

Too many times we will re-enter our homes and suddenly' projecting our pains from the day' we begin to unleash that burden upon our spouse or partner. This is a behavior that will surely lead to a difficult time together and lead to further breakdowns in communication and intimacy in a relationship.

Begin today, make the difference in the first five minutes and begin to rekindle the love in your relationship. Your partner will surely thank you for it.

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Recommitting yourselves to one another in marriage is for couples that are choosing to work on their marriage, resolve issues, and recommit their lives to each other. It is for couples that have grown apart spiritually and or emotionally and intend on encouraging each other through their devotion to one another. And finally, it is for couples who just want to remind their spouse of how much they mean to them, and to keep the bond going strong.

Recommitting your lives to each other can be an elaborate affair involving all of your friends and family, or it can be a simple and private ceremony between just you and your spouse. Of course in both instances, God is a special witness overseeing your re-promise to each other. Let your spouse know that marriage is for life and your commitment to the marriage will be life long concern of yours through the good times as well as the not so good.

For believers, recommitment involves asking Jesus Christ into your marriage and basing your thoughts and actions upon the Word of God. Recommitment is knowing what your responsibilities in the marriage are according to God and His standards.

Recommitting is NOT lip reading some words to your spouse that you really don't mean but to speak from your heart knowing full good and well that God is listening to your every word. Come together in prayer and recite whatever vows you have prepared ahead of time.

You might be wondering why would it be necessary to recommit yourself to the person you married? Recommitment shows your love on a regular basis and brings couples closer together, reminding them of how important the marriage really is. The other reason is if couples married too young and they did not hold the same value toward the marriage, as they should have, they now have the chance to make up for that by recommitment to each other.

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By choosing to work on marital issues and recommitting to each other the second time around, the marriage will most likely become more valuable in your conviction bank.

The most important aspects to remember about recommitment are it first involves having a committed heart to Jesus Christ, so we can fully understand what commitment means. The second most important aspect is realizing that marriage is not about you. It is about both of you, and that means considering the feelings of another in all situations that would involve the person you married.

I have listed four important aspects below that would help to bring commitment back into the marriage with your willingness.

1. God

2. Selflessness

3. Choosing to love

4. Marriage is for life

This does not mean your marriage will not run into problems, but it means that now you have the proper resources to apply into the marriage when confronted with certain issues that upset the apple cart from time to time. No marriage is perfect; marriage is only what we make it to be.

The main reason, I believe, people get divorced is because they don't have the foggiest idea how to manage issues that arise in the marriage. But if we choose to accept and follow the four steps above it will bring a dead marriage on the brink of divorce back to life! So stop divorce and recommit yourselves to each other. Take responsibility for your marriage!

God is the greatest source for our marriage and He provides us with what we need on a continual basis, therefore we should strive to make God a priority in our marriage. His loving guidance is what helps us to feel content so we won't feel the need to be selfish. The minute we take our eyes off of Him we trod the path that leads to relying on our own understanding and we become selfish.

We should choose to love our spouse even when we don't feel like being very loving because that is how we are to love our spouse. Jesus Christ has taught us how to love through His actions of love for us. Recommitting your life to your spouse means your marriage is important to you and that you want to remain married for life through the good times as well as the bad.

Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long suffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any; even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. (Colossians 3:12-13 KJV)

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.