My Husband Has No Desire For Me: How To Make My Husband Desire Me

If your husband isn't interested in sex, getting the romance back in your life is probably your number one priority. But before you even get started fixing your sexless marriage, there are three things you need to know.

1. This doesn't mean that he doesn't love you.

It's easy to understand why you'd think that since your husband isn't interested in sex, he's fallen out of love with you. After all, what else could explain his lack of interest. But that's rarely the case.

Most often in sexless marriages, both spouses love each other very much. But due to a variety of reasons, they've drifted apart from each other, and there's a gap in their relationship. And that's what's keeping the sex out of the picture.

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2. A sexless marriage isn't "expected"

One of the biggest sexless marriage myths out there is that sex dwindles over the course of a marriage. This is simply not true. There are many septuagenarians who have hot, steamy sex as often as newlyweds.

How often you and your husband have sex once you're married is really dependent on how much you maintain and work on your relationship. And assuming that you only grow closer over the years, married sex will also just keep getting better and better.

3. You CAN fix your sexless marriage, even if your husband refuses to cooperate

Very often when a husband isn't interested in sex, he point blank refuses to talk about it, or even to admit that there's a problem. This can leave a woman feeling like there's no way she'll ever be able to bring back the passion to her marriage. After all, how can anything change if he insists that everything's fine?

But the good news is that you can change your marriage on your own. In fact, you can even do it without your husband realizing what you're doing. By making small changes in the way you relate to him, the whole dynamics of your marriage will be different, and you'll be able to get closer to each other-- just from the things you're doing on your own.

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When things are crumbling apart in your marriage, and there seems to be no hope for a better marriage, it can be tough when your husband ups the ante and asks for a divorce. If you can get him to denounce the divorce, then you are on the right track. However, you must realize that if your husband asked for a divorce in the first place, it is only you who can take him away from his decision and cause him to relent in favor of keeping the marriage together. He has already made up his mind to get a divorce so you must take the first step in ensuring that he will not follow through with the divorce by doing everything you can to change his decision. If family, friends, and relatives have already talked to him, then it is only up to you.

The institution of marriage is a prominent, important, and critical part of our culture that is changing the way people form the society at large. If people don't get married, then they will end up unhappy, unfulfilled, and lacking in critical quality and care that is attendant upon any married couple. The family system is an integral part of the country that is sorely lacking in modern society as more people become accustomed to living single lives. Statistics show that married people are happier so keeping your marriage together can mean that both of you two will be happier.

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The way to get your husband to open up to you again is to use a battle-worn tactic. Use manipulation to ensure that your husband falls back in love with you again. If you use manipulation, you can increase the level of mystery that your husband feels for you. If he feels extremely curious about you again, it can save the marriage. If your husband is not adept at the skills that are attendant upon manipulation, then he will be quickly tricked into sparking his curiosity for you once again. This little tactic can spark up a marriage very fast.

Since many people ascribe to the theory that you always want what you can't have, there are several reasons to believe that this trick will work. There are an unbelievable amount of results that can come along with this simple trick. It is up to you to make it work. You have to try to remember what attracted your husband to you in the first place and go with that to ensure success. You will eventually become closer and have an even stronger marriage than before.

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If you are seeing signs that your marriage is over and you still love your spouse, then do something about it immediately if you want to stay together. It might have reached a point where you and your spouse are like two separate people sharing a home. This is a very uncomfortable situation to be in, but with a little effort from both of you, it can be fixed.

The best place to start is with communication - lack of communication is one of the biggest signs that your marriage is over. There is no doubt that by this time you and your spouse hardly give each other the time of day, let alone sit down and have conversations like you used to. Also, during this time that you have not been talking to each other, there is probably a lot that you don't know about each other anymore.

It will probably be a little awkward to get together to talk, so don't simply begin the conversation by mentioning the signs that your marriage is over. Start off by simply chatting about anything and everything - get to know each other a little better. Also, try to keep the conversation as relaxed as possible to avoid arguments.

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When you are feeling more comfortable with your spouse, then mention the signs that your marriage is over. If you are aware of things that you have done to contribute to this situation, then admit to them, and say that you are more than willing to fix them, because you would really like the marriage to work.

If your spouse lets you know that he/she too still has deep feelings for you, then the chances of the signs your marriage is over could very well be due to lack of communication only. In the time that you and your spouse have not been speaking to each other, you might have both got the impression that your partner did not love you anymore.

However, if you begin to communicate regularly again, then you can let each other know all the time that you still love each other. This should gradually bring you closer together and hopefully make the signs that your marriage is over a thing of the past.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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1. Ask.

If you want to know what your partner is thinking or feeling or needing or wanting, ask. It's nice when you care enough to guess. It's nicer, and much more likely to be accurate, if you actually ask. Generally speaking, partners feel that asking demonstrates caring.

Although it would be cool to be able to read each other's minds, that talent typically rests with superheroes more than partners. No matter how well you think you know your partner, guessing is still less accurate than asking. If you ask with a genuine wish to know, your partner is likely to experience the inquiry as loving.

2. Tell.

If you want your partner to know what you're thinking or feeling or needing or wanting, tell your partner. We sometimes get caught up in believing that IF our partner cared, s/he would already know. This is a dangerously counterproductive belief. Not only does it rely on the abovementioned magical mind-reading, but it also defines every non-telepathic partner (which is all of them) as uncaring. This is so unfair. What defines caring partners is not magical abilities but wanting to know what their partners want and need. Trust that your partner cares enough to want to know -- tell.

3. Listen, attentively.

It doesn't do any good to ask if you're not going to pay attention to the answer. Listening attentively means making eye contact, turning your body toward your partner, turning off or putting away all distractions, and making your partner's answer the most important thing at that moment. It is important to sustain this attentiveness until your partner has fully and completely told whatever s/he is willing to share at this time. It is a very affirming experience to be listened to in this way.

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4. Understand

Listening, even attentively, can only carry you so far if you don't understand what your partner is trying to tell you. Understanding requires a commitment of energy and caring. It requires that you clarify anything that you don't think you understand and confirm that what you think you understand is in fact what your partner was trying to communicate to you. This is where a breakdown between attempted transmission of a message and the actual reception of that message would be revealed. If you commit yourself to understanding, you commit yourself to a process that will result in a successful match between transmission and reception. It can be exhilarating to feel a partner's commitment to understanding you this fully.

5. Be responsive

Now that you've asked, told, listened, and understood, it's time to do something with all that information. When I talk about being responsive, I'm saying that you need to demonstrate to your partner that what you have heard and understood matters to you. It means that your thinking, your words, your behavior, and your choices are influenced in some way by what you now know. If I hear that you're cold and scared and I give you my sweater and hold you close, I'm being responsive. If you've told me and I've understood that you hate peas in your stew, and then I intentionally add peas, then I'm not being responsive. If you tell me that you're worried about your job and I ignore that information as if you never said it, then I'm not being responsive. If you tell me that you want me to quit my job and run away to the circus with you, I don't have to be responsive by running away to the circus. But I need to demonstrate that I care about what you're saying, perhaps by inviting you to tell me about your need to make such a radical change and ask if you've always wanted to be a lion tamer.

These five tips won't guarantee a successful relationship. The truth is though that without these five things no relationship has much chance of success. By implementing these five things you make a fine start toward a healthy and satisfying relationship. If you're already in a not-so-successful place in a relationship, try using these five tips to get yourself to solid ground. They can't hurt and they may be the lifeline that you need.

Now Listen Carefully-

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Author's Bio: 

50% of people divorce. Do not be another statistic. You Can Save Your Marriage These powerful techniques will allow you to trust again and ignite the fire and passion back into your relationship. Save Your marriage today! Click Here

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

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