My Husband Hurt Me Emotionally: My Husband Is Emotionally Abusing Me

Want to know how to overcome emotional abuse? Surviving emotional abuse is a process that just doesn't happen overnight although going through years of abuse doesn't equate with healing for the same period of time. You can always take back your life and start anew.

Emotional abuse has a debilitating effect on the victim. Your whole being is compromised and affected. It aims to damage your soul and the very core of your individuality. Feelings of being unloved and unwanted will always envelop you until you break free from them. It may not leave scars but the pain it causes may even be worse than physical harm.

The good news is that you can overcome emotional abuse and regain the confidence, self esteem and control that you have lost in an abusive relationship. How to overcome emotional abuse involves the following guidelines.

Create boundaries, goals and expectations
You may look forward to a speedy recovery but this would backfire on you if you do not allow yourself ample time to heal. It is vital that you decide on what you want to happen with your life as opposed to just going wherever the tide takes you. Setting goals will help you gain back the control you've lost and start taking one step at a time.

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Detach yourself from the past
There is no point in crying over spilled milk. You don't have to deny what has happened to you but plain acceptance will get you going. You can begin to take charge of your future and acknowledge that you have once lost control of your past and just consider them as lessons. You might find a new environment even more helpful for you to move on.

Empower yourself
It is best to view yourself as a survivor instead of a victim. You now have full control of your own thoughts and emotions and you have the power to direct your life as you wish. Engage in activities that makes you happy and empowered. Be thankful for every blessing in your life and as you recover, you can also help others like you to do the same.

Surviving emotional abuse takes courage and heart. Actively work towards gaining a sense of self empowerment. Feel free to ask assistance from the people you trust. Don't be afraid to reach out and foster new friendships along the way. Surround yourself with positive energy by engaging in productive activities and pleasant people. Take pride in what you have survived through and inspire others by it.

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More often than not couples will concentrate on the day to day issues that irritate, annoy or upset them, without ever looking deeper to find out actually causing the upset in the first place. We suggest you take a look at your marriage from a different angle. Figure out what's at the base of the difficulty and what not working at the core of your marriage. Once you do this it's much easier to get the intimacy you've been lacking get back on track.

Bad Mechanic - I Don't Think So!

Think about this next example: Your car has begun to leak oil all over the floor of your garage so you of course take it to a mechanic. They discover that the oil tank is nearly empty and refill it. If they told you this solved the cars issue, you'd immediately take your car to another mechanic, as the fix is clearly short-term and only deals with one symptom of the problem, instead of the problem itself.

This happens in relationships as well, many couples deal with their marriage the same way as this mechanic-by focusing on the best way to improve one particular problem, but without taking into consideration how they can repair the real cause of the problem, and discovery a lasting solution.

Anytime you find yourself dissatisfied with your marriage and desiring more intimacy, take a moment--think about what's really troubling you--and then go deeper. Reflect on what the underlying cause of that particular problem might be. For example, if your significant other is--on a regular basis--coming home late from work without calling you, you might believe that simply asking them to call you when they're running late would fix the problem. However, this often isn't the case.

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Although they might begin to call you when they leave work, or when they see the clock hit 6 and they know they're not going to be home on time, it's likely that other issues will crop up, because the real issue hasn't been dealt with. The problem in this situation is that you're probably not getting the consideration you want. While they might begin to call you in specific situations when they're running late, if the core issue hasn't been addressed, you'll sooner or later see other instances of this lack of consideration.

The First Step

Before you do anything else you must start figuring out what your real problems are and communicate with your partner about them. This isn't quite as simple as just discussing the issue with them. Effective communication takes understanding, a commitment to stay present and a willingness to see things from your partner's point of view.

One of the biggest mistakes we often see people make is to talk about their marriage only from one point of view, such as, "I need you to consider my feelings if you want to make this marriage work." By shifting your perspective a bit and considering everyone's point of view you might say something like, "I'd like to find a way to make sure that we both feel considered." This slight adjustment in your conversation will support you and your partner to feel as though they're in the hot seat, and you'll both be more willing to be open and honest as you're having this discussion.

Getting your relationship back on track and finding ways to improve your marriage intimacy isn't as easy as having one discussion, or handling with one of the symptoms in your marriage. The key is to deal with the fundamental issues that are keeping you both from the love and marriage you deserve.

Are you tired of living in a relationship in which you feel neglected? Many married people find themselves feeling alone and rejected by their spouse. If you feel taken for granted, there's a way to change that now.

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It can certainly be deemed as one of the lowest points in your life when your marriage is coming to an end. A marriage becomes part of your everyday life and having it become filled with problems means that your life becomes a burden. Not to worry as there's always hope since I saved my marriage that was crumbling before me.

As my husband informed me that he was seriously thinking about getting a divorce I was stunned. I couldn't accept the fact that he was telling me this because everything seemed fine not too long before that. I was in a dilemma because I could not come up with anything that could change his mind. I apologized to him over and over again and even begged him at one point.

As nothing worked I was sure it was going to end until I discovered what I really should be doing. Today I am happier than ever in our relationship and my husband even loves me more than when we first married. What did I discover that helped me over come this nightmare?

I'll let you know it had nothing to do with intuitive things like saying you're sorry and begging. It was actually the opposite of this! The way it should be done is being relatively inaccessible to your spouse. Why should you do this?

From the dawn of time people have always sought the things that they couldn't get. If you beg and plead you make yourself weak and easy. It makes you very unattractive and no one wants an unattractive spouse. When you come off as independent and have the ability to stand on your two feet you become a lot more desirable and hard to get!

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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Is it a good idea for couples to go in for marriage counseling together? Arguments can be made for both sides. It's good to be able to air your grievances and hear what your spouse has to say in return; however, having your significant other there with you may inhibit you from saying what you're really thinking and feeling. If you have an experienced marriage coach to help you, though, you may find that couples counseling is the best thing that happened in your marriage since your honeymoon. It's all in knowing the right way to communicate and discuss what's bothering each of you, and you can both end up feeling better after a session.

A lot depends on what makes you feel the most comfortable. Don't agree to couples counseling when you're so afraid of your spouse that you won't be willing to discuss any of your problems. Your coach can't help you unless you fill him in on what the problems are, so if he asks you about what's bothering you and you tell him "nothing", he isn't going to know what issues need to be addressed. A lot of couples aren't good candidates for a group session like this, because they just don't get along well enough any more. Although getting it all off of your chest can be therapeutic in some instances, there's really little to be gained from sitting and screaming at each other just like you do at home.

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A good marriage coach will moderate in a way that stops non-productive fights from taking place. You may think that's impossible, but there's a reason this guy is an expert. Not only will he help you control the fighting, but he'll give you strategies you can use to handle your difficulties when he's not around. Obviously, if you could stop the fighting and screaming, the antagonism between the two of you will cool, too. The environment in your home will be more comfortable for everyone who lives there. Nothing hurts children any more than their parents constantly being at each other's throats, so learning to turn a negative situation to a positive can have a lot of impact on family life.

Is a marriage coach a guy with all the answers? No, there are some things that there are no answers to, and others that will work out better if you figure out the answers yourselves, but a coach is a person who can provide you with the guidance you need to turn your marriage around. If this is what you're both looking for, then this marriage counseling alternative can be just what you're looking for.

Now Listen Carefully-

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Author's Bio: 

50% of people divorce. Do not be another statistic. You Can Save Your Marriage These powerful techniques will allow you to trust again and ignite the fire and passion back into your relationship. Save Your marriage today! Click Here

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

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