My Husband Is Openly Attracted To Other Women: When Your Husband Looks At Another Woman What Is He Thinking

When women try to get better at understanding men, they often find that no matter how much more effort they put in, they don't seem to be impressing the man even one little bit. If it's a vehicle to try and get more attention from the man, it's never going to work. All the woman is going to notice is that the man is slowly going to drift away from her (even if she's his wife) and that he's going to start getting more and more friendly with other women. I've been through this stage but my wife did three things to make me realize that she was the only one for me.

1. Stopped Obsessing

When I first starting dating the woman who is now my wife, she was beautiful. She still is beautiful now. However, time does funny things to a woman. It makes her more aware of herself. All the wrinkles women get, extra wobbly bits, little things like that.

She obsessed about them so much that I couldn't help but see them as negative aspects when really I never noticed them in the first place. She made it into an issue. Some friends of her told her to just relax and that it was just all part of life. She actually apologized to me and told me that she loves herself the way she is.

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2. Checking Her Out

There is nothing wrong with me checking other women out. A lot of women find this taboo and honestly, I don't think it's that big of an issue. My wife used to be really against it and hated it when we were out.

When I started checking guys out (I'm not gay), she started relaxing and checked guys out too. She didn't feel guilty about that at all. I told her it was the same. It actually helped me learn more about her. She learned more about me and what I like in women, so it's actually beneficial for both of us.

3. She was unhappy

Ultimately, her problems were all caused by herself. She never did get to blaming anyone, which is a good thing, but once she realised that everything was in her head, she relaxed. She became happy with herself again.

Funnily enough, her weight went back to a level that she was happy with and she acknowledges her "wrinkles" as "smile lines", which I find cute.

If you're a woman trying hard to get better at understanding men, realize that you have to understand yourself well first. If your man is checking out other women, is it really because he's falling out of love with you, or is it because you're falling out of love with yourself?

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If you love or are loved by someone, then it is likely that you feel pushed or pulled by them at times. Perhaps they expect something from you that you don't feel capable of providing. Or maybe they criticize you so that you never feel quite accepted by them. It may be you who wants something you're not getting.

This makes you feel hurt and/or angry. You want the problem fixed. It makes your life more difficult and less rewarding than it could be.

Whether you realize it or not, this is an opportunity for you. Your loved one is needling your boundaries, pressing you to open up to them, hacking at your resistance to change.

You have a choice here. You can see it as their problem and resent their demands. Or you can look at yourself and see if there is some need for you to grow. None of us is finished yet. We all have room to improve.

Only a loved one has the power to aggravate you like this. And it is love that will challenge you the most to do what you could never do before. Only those who love or are

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loved ever feel this kind of pressure. If it weren't for love it wouldn't matter. You could just walk away.

Someone who knows you well and spends time with you, someone who cares what you do, who has a personal stake in your behavior is well positioned and qualified to jerk your chain. And you're going to feel it. It probably won't feel good. And when they hold the mirror up to your face and show you yourself, you will see your defects and we all have them. You will be expected to be accountable for yourself. This is perhaps the biggest challenge with monogamy (aside from having to give up all the other possible lovers in the world, that is.) This can feel like an attack as your partner criticizes and attempts to make you over. You don't have to cave in but you do have to respond and it will help you a lot if you can see things from your partner's point of view when asked to do so. Try having some compassion for their plight. Don't imagine this is easy!

Love doesn't require that you sell yourself out or rigidly defend your boundaries against attack. But love does require that you allow yourself to be affected. Love does require your presence as a person.

Next time your loved one tortures you, try asking yourself if there's a lesson in it for you. When you're up against your own limits you might be able to see beyond them.

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We all enter our relationships with beliefs about our own role and what we expect from the pairing. Here are three beliefs which greatly influence the nature of the relationship/marriage. All couples start out wanting the best for each other. Often they are not fully aware how their underlying belief system may influence their actions.

Three limiting beliefs followed by what to do about it.

Belief 1. When we marry we become one

What does it mean to become one? If one believes that becoming one means having to think and act on all things together it soon becomes apparent that it is an impossible expectation. Each partner is an individual. How each person in the couple relationship appreciates each others uniqueness while at the same time valuing the uniqueness of their relationship becomes the foundation of happy pairing.

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Belief 2. We are each 50%, together we become 100%

Much better to think of each as being 100% and the relationship also being 100%. This way of thinking is respectful of who each person is and of the relationship unit. The relationship is a separate unit created by two individuals and thus also 100%. By giving weight to the relationship unit one reinforces that it is a separate entity. Relationships are a balancing act between each individuals' needs to be whole while building a relationship that works for both of them.

Belief 3. One partner (usually the man) is more important than the other partner

This belief is often times very subtle and unspoken. It becomes apparent when one observes the couple interaction. For instance, noting who defers to the other, who makes the decisions, who has to be right, etc. are clues as to the couples' belief system. Better to think of each person being of equal worth. If there is respect for the intrinsic equality of each individual it gives the couple the flexibility to decide how they divide responsibilities and support each other. That way each individual is equally important as is the couple relationship they are building.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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"You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly." -Sam Keen

Marriage does not just come to an abrupt end. There are danger signals that have been ignored. When you observe something isn't right, it's important you deal with as soon as possible before it gets out of hand. There is bound to be friction because of our different backgrounds and temperament but when it becomes quite frequent, both couples should strive to genuinely work things through in order to save the marriage. Share with me some of the red flags which might indicate a marriage is heading for the rock.

There is a loss of trust: When a partner begins to question excessively the activities of his/her partner, which has not been the case in the past.

When friendly jokes easily and frequently becomes hurtful.

When there is constant nagging and argument: It's normal for couples to argue once in a while but it becomes a red flag when it becomes quite frequent.

When sexual passion and intimacy is at its lowest ebb.

A partner feels at ease or happy when the other is not at home or had embarked on a trip or when you feel sad each time you are heading home.

When a spouse becomes the last to know what is going on in his/her partner's life: When you become rather comfortable to share what's happening around you to your family members, friends and maybe your pastor and leaving out your spouse to figure things out by herself/himself.

A lack of interest in proper body care: When your desire to eat right, keep fit, smell and dress nice and look sexy for your spouse gradually wanes.

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Lack of compliments: When you start getting tired of giving compliments for supports given because you think it's your partners responsibility to do so.

When you stop praying together: Couples who usually enjoys praying together now finds it difficult to spend time together in prayer.

Difficulty in coming to a compromise: When you find it difficult to agree on things and no one is willing to bend on his/her position.

When spousal affection diminishes: When a spouse do not show concern for the wellbeing of the other and care less whether she/he is sick or out of work etc.

Constantly lusting or in sexual relationship with someone else: When there is a third-party in your marriage whether physically or mentally.

Physical and emotional abuse: When your spouse who has never hit you before starts doing so or making you feel drained emotional.

When your spouse keeps his/her phone or other gadgets from you or when most times he/she steps out to receive a call.

When you wish you had never been married to your spouse or you wish him/her dead so you could be free.

How do you deal with these red flags? Promptness is the word. Don't overlook issues and allow them to go on for a long time without making efforts to nip them in the board. If you need counsel, don't shy away from this but it must be agreed by both of you. Above all, pray together. Couples that pray together have been proven to enjoy peace and longevity in their marriage. Make God the foundation, the pillar and the building block of your home and you will be sure of a blissful home. God bless you and your home.

Now Listen Carefully-

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Author's Bio: 

50% of people divorce. Do not be another statistic. You Can Save Your Marriage These powerful techniques will allow you to trust again and ignite the fire and passion back into your relationship. Save Your marriage today! Click Here

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

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