My Husband Lied To Me For Years: My Husband Lied To Me And I Can't Get Over It

My Husband Lied To Me For Years: My Husband Lied To Me And I Can't Get Over It

A lot of women out there wonder why men lie so much. You must have heard jokes about it and even made a couple yourself. However, do you really know why they lie so often about their whereabouts, what they were doing and who they were with? Even though most men just laugh it off, most women are completely baffled when it comes to this. However, there are actual reasons behind why men lie and if you want to confront them better, then you need to understand these reasons first and foremost. Read on.

For starters, men believe that they have a reputation to uphold with their workmates, their friends, with strangers and with you. It is all about their status. In other words, if a man's status drops in society, he will be seen as weak and vulnerable. Therefore, instead of admitting that they are weak by being honest, they choose to lie to hide their shortcomings and weaknesses instead.

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Another reason why men lie is because they want to steer clear of confrontations as much as possible. Unfortunately, these will always come up in a relationship and will almost always result in massive misunderstandings. Your man might choose to have drinks after work, for example, and then lie to you about it by saying that he was finishing reports for work. The reason why he would lie, though, is to simply avoid a potential argument that may have come up if he came home late because he was drinking.

Unfortunately, most women who find out that their significant other lied about something work-related will immediately think that the men lied because they were cheating on them, not because they were out drinking. This issue could then get much worse because of this. This isn't a good excuse or anything. In fact, this could be one of the most stupid reasons to lie. However, it is a very common reason for men's lies and is also a very common reason for conflict to arise in the end.

Now, if your husband tends to lie constantly, then the best way to deal with his lies would be to simply confront him and ask him why he did it. Then, tell him what bothers you about the lies. Then, let him know that you no longer trust him completely because he lied. This simple threat is usually enough to make liars put things in focus, reevaluate why men lie in the first place and change their ways. Try it.

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Broken trust causes a majority of divorces. But you don't have to end your marriage because of this! Marriages are made up of many things - trust, although a HUGE part, is only one of them. It doesn't matter if you are the one who broke this special bond, or if you are the victim. What matters is that you need help.

When you are the person that broke the trust

While there are many ways trust is broken, the main one is infidelity. If you have cheated on your spouse, you are here because you know that you made a horrible mistake. You want to change things, and save your marriage. Have you opened up to your spouse yet? Have you told them that you've made a horrible mistake, and you are sorry? Have you told your spouse that you want to try to save the marriage, and that you are willing to do whatever it takes to do so?

You have to show your spouse that you want to make things better. This is going to take time, work, and commitment. Trust isn't something that comes easy to begin with, and it will take time to gain back. but you CAN do it, and when you succeed, your marriage will be all the more stable!

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When you are the victim of broken trust

What if you find yourself on the opposite end of broken trust? What if YOU are the one that was cheated on? This is devastating, to say the least. The most important thing you can do right now is to learn to forgive. You will never forget what happened, but by forgiving your partner, you will release the pent up anger and resentment that is building up inside of you, and eating away at you.

You must forgive your spouse. Not only to save your marriage, but to help yourself. Your spouse has a lot of work ahead of them. Hopefully, you have forgiven them. A mistake was made. Talk to your spouse. Find out why they think the affair happened. Is it because the romance has gone out of your marriage? Is it because the love is fading?

If so, there are things you can do right now to make your spouse feel loved. Also, by opening up the lines of communication in your marriage, you will feel more loved, yourself. Your marriage, over time, will become stronger. Many couples who are faced with this situation come out stronger than ever, because they work together to save their marriage.

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Even though divorce rates are higher than they've ever been, not everyone who heads for divorce court really wants to dissolve their union. In fact, if there were alternatives, a large number of the couples who actually go through with it would probably have chosen a different option. A temporary separation is often enough to show the partners just how difficult and painful it is to live apart, and many long to return to the relative security of their relationships even if there are issues. So what can they change that will help them resurrect their marriage and live long, happy lives together?

Sometimes the best course of action involves knowing exactly what you shouldn't do. There are some behaviors that are almost guaranteed to drive the wedge between your spouse and yourself even deeper. One of the futile attempts that many people try to make is in attempting to reassure their spouse verbally that they have changed and that things are going to be different. Unfortunately, words often carry little weight and can only serve to make you look insincere and pathetic. Your spouse wants to see ways in which you've changed, not just hear about them. If you show confidence as you go about trying to right some of the wrongs in your relationship, your spouse is going to respond in a more positive manner.

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Strange as it may seem, a couple in the midst of an emotional upheaval should not use the words "I love you", because it isn't going to help do anything but push you and your spouse farther apart. We've all been raised to think of those words as the cure-all for our problems; however, they are not. Instead, they strike at the most sensitive emotional areas within you at a time when they are raw and bleeding. Your spouse doesn't want to feel guilty or emotionally assaulted during this time, even if the words should be comforting. Instead, show your spouse how much you care by your actions, and as time passes and you both heal, you'll be able to express your feelings in words once again.

All of us have self-defense techniques built into our personalities, but if you're trying to win back your spouse, this isn't the time to use them. A common reaction to stress is to try and explain your own behaviors and to put down those of your partner. Neither guilt or logic is going to sway your spouse in any positive way. In fact, those are exactly the tools you need to use if you want to sever your relationship permanently. This is not a competition, and you shouldn't be trying to win anything. Once again, it's going to take time, patience, and a positive outlook to reconstruct your marriage, but it will definitely be worth the effort if you succeed.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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How to stop the divorce after one spouse has filed is what most people are interested in knowing. Some people are confused and depressed when their spouse starts the divorce process to end their marriage. If you want to make it easier for you to stop the divorce proceedings, you must act quickly before it is too late. A lot of people make what we usually call common mistakes when trying to stop the divorce after one spouse have filed. As soon as the divorce is filed, they naturally start reacting in certain ways that prevents genuine reconciliation. If you want to know how to stop your divorce and save your marriage, you must be willing to invest in yourself. You must be willing to educate.

You must be aware right away that you do not have any legal right to stop your spouse from divorcing you. However, there are things you can do to delay the divorce process, if your spouse wants a divorce. The only way you can stop the divorce after a filing has been done is to persuade your spouse that divorce is not the best answer. If your spouse agrees the two of you should fix the marriage, the divorce proceedings can be easily stopped. If you can motivate your spouse to consider how much better of it will be when you both fix the marriage, you may be able to stop the divorce.

There are certain things you may need to do and follow in order to make your spouse to stop the divorce process. Some of these things include:

Be honest with your spouse. This is one of the critical things you need to do if you want to stop the divorce after one spouse has filed. Repent from every known sin. This is the first thing to do. If your spouse wants divorce because of some acts of infidelity or cheating on your part, this is the time to show that you are truly sorry and will never mess up again. Let your spouse know without doubt that you are a changed person, old things have passed away.

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Accepting the issues in your marriage. There is no doubt that your spouse is filing for divorce for a number of reasons. You must accept the issues, identify them and agree to deal with them in a healthy and positive manner. Let your spouse see that you are already making the best efforts to fix the issues with the marriage for good.

Commitment. Are you committed to the success of the marriage? Commitment is complete loyalty to your spouse. Show your spouse that you are committed to his/her welfare, well-being and happiness. If you find that you are more committed to your job, business, friends and other family members than your partner, you must quickly retrace your steps.

Show maturity. A mature person is emotionally, spiritually and mentally developed enough to handle circumstances and deal wisely with the issues of life. If your spouse should file for divorce, there is no doubt that you were unable to deal with the many issues in your marriage. Show maturity by calmly taking time to deal with every unresolved issue in the marriage. Provide a relaxed, calm environment where both of you can discuss and fix the marriage.

Seek out help. Consider seeking out those who have successfully built a long lasting and happy marriage, since they may be empathetic and helpful to you. Their genuine love and advice will help you to handle the issues in your marriage. You can change your associates and even go for counseling as a demonstration of your strong desire for change.

Once your spouse has agreed to remain in the marriage, you should encourage her to seek out legal help to stop the divorce proceedings. This must be done quickly before the judgment is finalized.

Now Listen Carefully-

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