My Husband Lies To Me About Little Things: What Should I Do If My Husband Keeps Lying To Me

Have you ever noticed how much people lie? We generally look for the good in others, so a person who is a consummate liar is not always easy to spot. We take people at face value most of the time, so how on earth can we tell if our partner, husband or wife are lying their heads off. Not all of us have the power of a psychic and can read minds, so with our hearts wide open we usually believe what we are told.

This is all very well if it is a one off situation but what if you discover the wife you have given your trust to for years, is a very good liar? Frightening is it not. We have all fallen for a good lie at some time or another, but some of us have walked away with a laugh thinking I fell for that one, hook line and sinker. As it did not leave any lasting impression on our life we simply brushed it off and moved on.

So we know that liars are alive and well and living on planet earth. What we all hope is that they are not living in our homes as our husband or wife. We take our vows and promise so much on the wedding day and in many cases live up to the words spoken, but lurking in the shadows of the perfect marriage can hide a compulsive liar.

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James was home late again and said his boss had kept him over. Shelly knew he was lying as she had heard this story so many times before. He had really been at the local bar, chatting up girls. Shelly gave him his dinner and went to bed. She had never really noticed when the lies started; she was so in love with him. Now it was an every day event. She had become quite the expert at his body language. He could never look her in the eye, he was incredibly defensive and he always seemed to be scratching a part of his face. Shelly knew she could no longer trust him and all respect had pretty much disappeared.

A liar in a close relationship has no real idea, how much pain they inflict on their loved one. Relationships are built on love and trust, so a partner who fails to be truthful even over the small stuff, erodes the whole concept. The real question here is can a liar change their ways and can your relationship survive it? You may not be in the public eye and have to endure the humiliation of finding out your partner has been living a double life. But the pain and heartache is the same.

Some liars do this, as they are insecure and the stories they tell make them feel larger than the life they live. They are afraid the person they have married will see them as a fake or not good enough, so they hide behind a wall of lies in their private comfort zone. This is no help to the person on the other end of this storyteller, who by now is beginning to think they married a complete stranger. To be able to be honest, with someone you love shows a fabulous maturity making the chances of success very high. A liar has lost complete touch with who they are and depending on how far back in their lives it began, may never have a memory of being truthful. We always feel bad when we have been lied too. We say we are gullible and silly. Remember you have done nothing wrong; the ball is totally in their court and the lie with them.

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It's not because of a lack of love, it's because of a lack of something else. No, not sex.

When you look at the reality of marriage today. My best guess is that about 10%-15% of marriages are happy. Happy doesn't mean that things are just OK.

A happy marriage means that you are still in love with and feel a deep connection and passion for your partner. That your life is enhanced is so many ways because of your marriage and you feel grateful to have that person to share your life with. After 14 years together, that's where I am in my marriage. Do you know many people who are really happily married?

Why do so many couples struggle? There's plenty information out there about what to do to fix your relationship. I have a free report on my website loaded with content that works fast. I constantly refer people to it who cannot afford my guidance. But, very few actually look at it. Do they connect with me hoping for the easy instantaneous miracle after 9 years of misery?

Here's the truth: Marriage isn't easy. Marriage can be difficult. Any long term relationship can have challenging moments. Being with another person isn't always perfectly fun. There will be tough moments.

What do people do in those difficult moments? They are mostly doing very little. How are people responding to the challenges in their relationships? They are mostly responding poorly.

Here's Why: The #1 Thing that people lack is not love, it's not information, it's COURAGE.

It takes courage to put your partner first. It takes courage to make your marriage more important than something else in your busy life. It takes courage to have heart felt understanding for your partner. It takes courage to admit you are wrong and apologize. It takes real courage to want something exceptional and have the willingness to do something all the time to make it happen.

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It takes courage to step into the difficult thing and to do it even when it's really tough and you don't want to, and you are afraid. Maybe you are afraid of rejection, afraid of not being enough, afraid of giving and not getting anything back. Facing all of those fears and doing it anyway requires courage.

Here's a suggestion that I gave a woman recently who is going through a tough time and is at odds with her partner:

"Maybe John is feeling off because he doesn't know how to handle you right now and you are feeling off because you don't know how you feel about him exactly...

If you decided that you were going to ask him to hold you for a few moments... , and know that he might want to say something you wouldn't want to hear, and might be confused... , and still allow that to happen... knowing that it was hard to do anyway... and find something in that holding that could create a new moment. That requires courage... doing it and knowing it may not happen the way you want, anddoing it anyway, because if it works it will be so worthwhile... maybe incredibly comforting... maybe re-connecting.

That's courage in action, and your willingness to step into your courage and do that over and over again knowing it might fail, and knowing that you never fail when you are addressing fear, creates a strength that can't be taken away."

This is how marriages get transformed, one act of courage at a time. This is how relationships get changed. Find the courage to do something that's difficult all the time and everything will change and it will get easier and easier to do. Right now is a great time to start.

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The first thing you must understand is that it is possible to fix your marriage, but you need to have the attitude that I can save my marriage. If you don't have a positive mindset it will be hard to be successful. Besides the good attitude, you need to have patience. It might take some time to fix things, especially if the issues have been going on for some time.

For starters, it helps to know why a marriage isn't working. It's best to spend time analyzing what went wrong or what is going wrong. By using that information it will help you to begin to improve things. If you aren't able to find the exact causes that are creating the problems, the next best thing is to know what the different needs of men and women are and attack the problem form that angle.

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The best way to find the cause of the separation or problems in the marriage is to sit down together and discuss this together objectively. Try to put any animosity aside when you do this. If you are doing this together you both must want to work things out, so don't bring bad feelings to this exercise.

If you can't do this together you will just have to do it on your own. While it might be easy for you to figure out what you feel is the problem with your spouse, realizing your faults in the marriage might be a little more challenging. Try to be as objective as possible and you should find a few things that you can fix.

Once you have found the cause or causes that you feel have led to the problems, you can begin working to fix them. Keep in mind that if the two of you are working together on this, it can only give you hope for the future. By working together on finding the problems you are already building a better relationship.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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What men want in a woman is someone who is going to be a master to them. Of course, this doesn't mean that us guys are all slaves. You will never read this in any relationship book, but us guys ultimately are in relationships to be controlled. Why would we choose to marry one particular woman over the over hundreds of millions of women out there? Ultimately, it's because she knows how to make us happy. What makes a man more happy than anything else in the world? Having someone to fight for and defend, by virtue of our provider instinct. Here's how to be a better master to your slave, I mean husband.

1. Don't Abuse Your Power

I don't seem to be doing too many favors for my fellow men out there by saying that we're slaves. However, I'm only saying this because it's what I have found to be true in all the successful relationships with friends that I have observed, as well as my own.

Women who wear the pants in the relationship are way in over their heads. Men let them do so. If women try to show their dominance, men will simply ignore them. You can be our master, but you have to respect us.

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2. Shared Control

A marriage isn't a real master/slave relationship per se. The control has to be shared. Women have to ask things from men and it has to occur vice versa as well. Otherwise, the relationship will head straight towards a divorce.

If women simply ask men for everything, then the value of the man will drop. Ladies, let your man know that you can and will do certain things for him. Sometimes, us guys get complacent and we forget that it's fair. If it's getting too one-sided, do the right thing and give him a bit of power.

3. We Want To Be Controlled

Marriage gives power to both the man and the woman but there's always one thing that's universally true when someone chooses to get married and that's they actually want to serve the other person.

This is particularly true for men. We want to serve the wife and to be controlled by her. We feel like we're needed if she chooses us to do things for her. Just remember, respect always has to be mutual. It takes as much strength to follow as it does to lead.

What men want in a woman is someone who knows how to control us. Remember, us men want to be controlled, but if the woman feels that the relationship is one-sided, she should give us a bit of power back so that the man realises that it takes two to tango.

Now Listen Carefully-

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Author's Bio: 

50% of people divorce. Do not be another statistic. You Can Save Your Marriage These powerful techniques will allow you to trust again and ignite the fire and passion back into your relationship. Save Your marriage today! Click Here

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

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