My Husband Never Hears What I Say: My Husband Doesn't Listen To My Opinion

There must be some reason why some couples excel at marriage and others have such a hard time going at it. Let's face it right here and be honest, marriage is not easy. Having a good marriage means that you and your partner experience a lot good and bad times. But knowing how to communicate effectively is often the biggest hindrances to marital success.

Think about it. What communication is nothing more than the exchanging of ideas, concepts and thoughts between two parties. One party is the receiver and the other party is the sender of the messages.

But there are a ton of things that can get in the way of building a vibrant and loving marriage, and first off it is poor communication skills. This can happen to one party, but it often impacts both parties in the relationship. Heres why:

No matter how hard the stronger communicator may try, her attempts to steer their relationship into stronger waters may be anchored on the opposing parties ability to accept her leadership in this area. It doesn't have to women that are the better communicators either.

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Look at this research by Dr Albert Mahrabian, a professor at UCLA as recorded in Timothy K. Koegel's book, the Exceptional Presenter. Dr. Mahrabian's research revealed some percentages that you should be aware of as it relates to your personal communications with your significant other.

He shared that:

- Only 7% of your messages impact is related to the words you use.

- 38% of your speaking to your spouse is determined by your voice, that is how loud, soft and how confident you are addressing them in your messaging.

- 55% our your communicational impact is determined by non-verbal signals and ques. This is more along the lines of your posture, appearance, gestures, movements surrounding your body and eye contact as well as facial expressions.

This research is really quit telling and may be the solution to your communication gap not only with your partner, but also with your children, co-workers, members of your volunteer committees etc.

What I want to impress upon you here, is the necessity of getting congruent with your non-verbal signals and what you really want to communicate.

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Divorce can be an emotional nightmare, particularly when it comes to raising kids. But you can learn how to save your marriage and avoid the catastrophic effects of divorce.

Begin your turnaround with some self-examination and exploration. Most marriages face difficult times but even the worst can be managed if you look deep inside to discover what really matter most to you.

You may be surprised at just how similar your spouses desires and needs are to your own. After all, you began your marital journey with like minds. There are probably several fundamental issues you still can agree on. Find them and you can begin a turnaround journey to a healthy and happy marriage.

Leave Past Crises Behind

Those couples who have successfully saved their relationships have one major issue in common with one another. They were able to leave the trouble of their past behind and focused their efforts on what is happening in the present.

This isn't always an easy task. Forgiveness doesn't sweep away the pain of past disagreements. It does require the emotional strength to believe that the best is in front of them and with a concerted effort they can mend and repair their differences and embrace a new and better path.

Blaming your spouse for your trouble will never allow you to move forward. You must rise above the past difficulties and set your mind on improving yourself.

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What Did You Expect?

Relationships can be difficult. If you didn't realize in when you got married, you've certainly learned it by now.

It's time to examine what you can expect from your marriage. Are your marital expectations realistic? Everyone brings their own set of expectations into their marriage. You must be able to communicate them to your spouse.

Perhaps you've married a weekend warrior, sports fanatic. If you have clashed with your spouses need to bury himself in sports television every weekend, perhaps you should step back and look at how your needs might better mesh with his.

He may not be willing to walk away from his own passions, but with the proper consideration he may adjust his schedule to better fit your desires.

The bottom line is this. Don't expect your spouse to change just because your married. If you married a tidy girl, be willing to live with the tidy girl for life. You can adjust your own needs to better fit hers.

These are the marriage saving secrets that successful couples practice.

Look No Further Than Yourself

Once you've reassessed your needs and have identified your own expectations, begin getting to know the needs of your partner. Understand that changing your spouse into a new and fresh person is unrealistic and will be met with great resistance.

Look rather at how you might blend your needs with your spouses. We must be able to maintain more realistic expectations of how to move forward together.

Married couples who maintain realistic expectations and embrace the power of forgiveness have the ability to improve their marriage over time. Don't let life's rough patches discourage you. You can save your marriage if you embrace the fundamental tools at your disposal.

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Steps to marriage separation reconciliation are important in rebuilding the love and trust ties that bind a couple in danger of filing for divorce. One factor in these steps is repentance. As defined at Wikipedia, "Repentance is a change of thought and action to correct a wrong and gain forgiveness from a person who is wronged."

In order to reconcile a marriage, both individuals must be able and willing to recognize their fault in the dissolution of the marriage, whether it is large or small, whether it is a result of being on the offensive or defensive line. You must then be willing to take the necessary actions to rectify, or at least prevent, the same mistakes from occurring in the future. Three elements of the repentance factor in steps to marriage separation reconciliation are acknowledgment, remorse, and forgiveness.

Acknowledgment

Profess your specific (forgot about that important meeting, not forgetfulness) wrongdoings and do not make excuses for them; just simply own up to the offense and be willing to make amends. Show that you know how you have erred and are ready to change that behavior.

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Remorse

Be open and honest about the shame and grief you feel for the hurt you have caused. At this stage of the game it is important for your spouse to be able to see that you understand the hurt that you have caused them, whether it was intentional or not, and are truly sorry for it.

Forgiveness

Say "I'm sorry" and ask for forgiveness. It may not come immediately, but knowing that you have done this much will help you heal from the pain you caused. Forgiveness has great healing power, not only for the one being forgiven, but the forgiver as well. Forgiving does not mean that your spouse is justifying or even accepting your actions, but it does mean that they are able to overlook your transgressions in order to restore the bond of love.

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If the Obama's can do it, you can do it. Date night is a common practice used by couples all over the world to make sure that they treat their marriage as the priority that they claim it is. "Date night" is one of those tools that helps keep marriages strong. Most couples are under a great deal of stress from demands all about them. Couples who are in trouble with their marriages tend to work against each other in these conditions. Couples who stay connected and use the tools to keep their relationship strong are better able to weather the stress.

Different couples schedule date night at different intervals. Regardless of whether you have weekly, biweekly, or monthly "date nights", the trick to following through is to select the best day and time for the date and make it a "sacred time" where nothing gets takes precedence before it.

When you commit to scheduling it in for the next X number of weeks or months, you are beginning to treat it as the "sacred time" that it is. Nothing gets scheduled over the top of it. Nothing takes precedence. It does not get postponed. It is solidly planned and committed to. Period. If you need baby sitters for date night, get them scheduled as much in advance as you can. Get two or three backup sitters for "on-call". With enough planning, you can consistently have "Date Night". Once you have the time scheduled you have to decide what to do on your dates. And that may not be as easy as you would think. To set up your date schedule, follow these steps:

1. Consult your schedules and pick out the best time for both of you, then write it in your schedule book for "X" number of weeks or months in advance.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

2. Generate three lists, especially if money is an issue.
a. List one - Each partner contributes things that s/he would like to do on a date that costs money. Regardless of whether you think the other one would want to engage in that activity or go on that particular date, write it down. Each person should contribute at least ten items or ten date scenarios (i.e., dinner and a movie) to this list.

b. Then generate a second list of ten that has no cost or minimal cost attached to it. (i.e., going to free outdoor concert, going fishing, charcoaling steaks and dancing to Big Band Jazz on Saturday night on your backyard deck, etc.) Each person should add their desired date activities regardless of whether you think the other would want to do that activity.

c. Generate a third list of ten date activities that you know you agree upon, cost not taken in account.

d. Combine the three lists, eliminating two items from the cost date and two from the no-cost date. The activities left are your beginning date night activities. Keep the list handy.

3. Take turns choosing from the list what your date night activity will be. Or cut the list activity list up so that items show up on separate pieces of paper and put them in a jar to be randomly selected. The purpose of each person contributing what they would like to do is to help couples expand their horizons and to practice a little give and take.

Distressed couples often complain that when they actually do decide to go out and do something, it is only one person who does the deciding or who has the veto power over the choice of activity. This, while it might get them out of the house, is not doing all it can to communicate love and create an loving, partnership atmosphere.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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