My Husband Says He's Done With Our Marriage: My Husband Doesn't Want To Work On Our Marriage

Marriage is something of a roller coaster. You may feel secure and safe in your husband's love one day and then the next he's talking about leaving. All couples fight, it's a natural part of a close, long term relationship. However, some marriages do head down a course towards disaster. Unless it's stopped, divorce will likely become the only option. If your husband wants to leave you, and you still love him, you must do whatever you can to make him fall back in love with you again.

Men fall and stay in love with women who make them feel better about who they are. One of the reasons so many marriages fail is one partner stops appreciating the other. If your husband wants to leave you because you have started taking him for granted, now is the time to change that. You must start telling and showing your husband how much he means to you and how much you value everything he does for you and your family.

Don't underestimate the power of all those small gestures you used to do for your husband. If you tended more to his needs early in the relationship, start doing that again. It may even be something as simple as making him coffee in the morning or asking about his work. If your husband wants to leave, you need to create an environment where he finds wanted. Start treating him like a lover, friend, and confidante as you did early in your relationship. Put more of your focus on him and he'll start to feel closer to you all over again.

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When your husband doesn't want to work on the marriage and you still very much want to make it work, you will definitely feel very lost and unsure of what you should do to save this marriage. If you are not ready to face a divorce, there are certain things that you can do to save your marriage.

One thing that you have to understand is to find out why he doesn't want to work on the marriage. There could be many different reasons for him to behave like this. Some men give up on their marriage is because of a third party appearance, the wife's attitude or probably they just do not want to deal with the conflict that arises anymore. Depending on the situation, there are various ways to work on it.

Maybe you have tried talking out the problems with your husband, but he is not listening or cooperating with you. Think about if you have approached him with the right way to discuss your marriage problems. I am sure you have been trying hard to work on your marriage by speaking out the problems to him each time you have an opportunity. However, I want you to avoid doing this way. You should actually try talking to him calmly about things other than your relationship. This is to let him cool down to think about other things rather than the unhappy stuffs. When the tension is not so strong anymore, he will begin to open up again and start listening.

If you are in a situation that your husband doesn't want to work on the marriage because he is taking you for granted on your kindness, then you should step back a bit. He is probably thinking that you will not leave him no matter what is going to happen in the marriage. Such guys tend to feel that they can have whatever things they like and will begin not to appreciate your care and love. When you step back and choose not to care him so much, it will just make him wonder if you have stopped loving him. He will likely to start asking for your opinions to work on the marriage.

Are you tired of living in a relationship in which you feel neglected? Many married people find themselves feeling alone and rejected by their spouse. If you feel taken for granted, there's a way to change that now.

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What Are You Focusing Your Attention on?

Finding someone to spend the rest of your life with is a gift that not everyone gets. In the beginning, marriage intimacy is likely to come naturally. As you began your life with your spouse, it was easy to feel content and loved, and to overlook some of the road bumps along the way. However, as time goes on, many couples find just the opposite to be true. They find themselves feeling the negatives of their relationship much more than they feel the positives.

Is this because the relationship has drastically changed? Or is it because your perspective has? In most cases, the latter is true. As time goes on, those little things that used to bring you so much joy and contentment either get pushed to the side, or go unnoticed. To get them back, you need to shift your focus and find ways to remember what it was about your partner that led you to choosing to spend your life with them.

Look for the Signs

You might think that you relationship has changed. You might feel that your partner no longer takes the time to show you how much they care, or you might even feel that they no longer care as much as they once did. If you're in this position, the first thing you need to do is to open your eyes. Look around and notice the ways that your partner shows they care. It might not be the same way they once did, and it might not be the way you want, but if you look closely, you'll find signs of love all around you.

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Once you take the time to assess your relationship and notice the signs of marriage intimacy all around you, stop and consider your own actions. Have you stopped doing some of the things you used to do for your spouse? Are you still showing them how much you care about them? For example, perhaps you used to fix lunch for your partner every morning before work, or maybe you surprised them for lunch once in awhile. If you find that you no longer do these things for your spouse, it's time for you to make some changes as well.

Be the Change

When you take positive steps to show your partner that you care, and to notice the ways in which they do the same, you'll find yourself more content with your relationship. This doesn't mean that you should stop working on your relationship. In fact, working on your relationship is likely to be the most successful when you and your partner are both feeling loved and appreciated. Talking through your problems is much easier when it begins with a foundation of love.

If you follow these steps and find your marriage intimacy has improved, tell your partner what you've done. Tell them that you were feeling a bit down about your relationship, but that you started to notice the ways they showed how much they cared. This will have two purposes. First, it will show your partner that you appreciate what they do for you. Second, it will encourage them to continue to show you how much you mean to them.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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Author's Bio: 

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Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

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