My Husband Sleeps All Day and Stays up All Night: What Not to Say to Your Unemployed Spouse

Having your spouse out of work for any extended period of time can be stressful especially in an economy where the unemployment rate is the highest it has been in over 20 years. Many unemployed workers are looking for any job whether it is in their profession or not just to cover the bills. In addition, there is also an increase in the number of employees dissatisfied in their work place but afraid to change jobs for fear of an extended unemployment. Talk about stress.

Added to that stress is the normal stress of a marriage relationship. As if there wasn't enough to be stressed about in a marriage with mortgages, finances, kids, in-laws, bills, minimal cash flow, lack of communication and decreased sex drive; now add to that the stress of unemployment. These are the kind of stressors that can make or break your marriage relationship, but this is precisely the time that the vow "for better or for worse" was intended.

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It is hard to know what to say to friends during difficult times because it can literally make or break a friendship. But if you say the wrong thing to your spouse during this time, it can paralyze them for days of inactivity precisely when activity is needed. Even when you try to be encouraging, it can sometimes come across as patronizing. But by looking at what not to say, you can minimize the damage. Here is a bit of humor at what not to say to your spouse during these times.

1. The grunge look ended in the 90's.

2. How many Star Gate episodes are you up to now?

3. Did you do anything today?

4. Didn't you wear that yesterday?

5. My headaches will go away when you have a job.

6. Here is your "To Do" list to do.

7. Did you get a job yet?

8. I knew this would happen.

9. I see why you were let go.

10. You can always go work for my dad.

A better approach is to put yourself in their shoes and be more loving in your comments. After all, unemployment has a way of making even the most secure person insecure for a period of time. While your spouse may seem unmotivated, unfocused, and unproductive for a period of time, this is a normal reaction to unemployment. Instead of the above comments, try words of encouragement, a kind gesture and an act of service which are far more productive in the end than nagging or complaining.

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It is never easy to see a couple's marriage collapse in front of your eyes. Not to mention if the marriage is yours. Being in this position can take its toll on anyone and it's not something that I'd wish on anyone.

I say this because I have been in that situation. My marriage was slowly falling apart right before my eyes and I felt very helpless and desolate. My husband lost interest in the marriage over time and I had no idea how to securely save my marriage. I tried a variety of things that just did not work. Things seemed hopeless but I was lucky enough to get out of this mess.

In fact, after things were resolved my marriage was even better than it was at the start - even better than our honeymoon! I can tell you with confidence that virtually any marriage can be saved. I hope to spread the word as much as I can since marriages are sacred bonds that should last a lifetime.

What I did to save my marriage was act inaccessible to my husband. What I mean by this is that I showed my husband that I could be independent and held my own. The begging on my knees did nothing but make me look desperate and unattractive.

Don't get me wrong though; I know that seems easier said than done. Just have some confidence in yourself and you'll be able to do it no problem. The laws of the universe are here to stay and we should take advantage of them when we can. Always remember that people try to get the things that are out of their grasp. If it is easy to acquire, the value it has appears to evaporate. Don't make yourself seem easy by the unnecessary crying and begging. This is one easy step to saving your marriage!

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Relationships have good times and bad. Problems to overcome and happiness to share. This is especially true with marriages. Are you starting to worry about your marriage? Here are some tips for how to tell your marriage is in trouble.

Problems in marriage start out small. Often, we don't even see them as problems, until they grow out of control. If you think that your marriage is in trouble, take a look at your relationship.

How did the two of you deal with issues before? How do you do it now? Did the two of you spend more time together than you do now? Do you argue more now than you did then? Is the intimacy missing from your marriage? Does one of you not trust the other? Is there monetary trouble in your marriage?

These are all signs of trouble in marriages, but they are ALL easily dealt with, and fixed. When you know how to tell your marriage is in trouble, you will be able to deal with any difficulties that come up.

These are all very common. Most marriages deal with these issues. The only difference between marriages that make it through these difficult times, and marriages that end in divorce, is the ability for the couple to talk to each other, and come up with a solution to these problems.

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If you let marital issues go unresolved, much worse problems will start to spring up. Depression, addictions, unfaithfulness, and even abuse can start happening. These will make problems much harder to control, so do your very best to turn your marriage around before it gets worse.

When you find yourself in a heated situation, don't bring up the past in ANY argument or discussion. The only thing this will do is to bring more anger and hurt into your marriage than there already is. The only thing that bring up the past will do is to harm you or your partner more.

Find something the two of you have in common, and do something together. Show and tell your spouse that you love them. Do one thing nice for your spouse, and they will see that you do cherish your marriage, and they will reciprocate.

By knowing how to tell your marriage is in trouble, you will very easily be able to stop major problems from becoming destructive to your marriage.

You and your spouse love each other very much. Sometimes, that love doesn't show as much as it does other times, but it is still there, all the same. When times get tough, hold on to this love. Your marriage is stronger than you think, and it will last a lifetime.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

Click here to save your marriage and rebuild it into a more connected, satisfying relationship.

So many people are frustrated after spending thousands of dollars and attending session after session with a marriage counselor only to have their marriages fail anyway. For years these self-proclaimed experts have been considered the only resource for those headed for divorce, but it seems like there should be a better way. And there is! A marriage coach is another trained individual waiting to help you solve your marital problems and get your marriage back on track. While no one can claim to have all of the answers, a marriage coach is going to come as close to doing so as you can get. So if you want a marriage counseling alternative, find yourself a marriage coach today.

Marriage counselors are much-maligned, and with good reason. They just don't have the right techniques to really help people put their marriages and their lives back together. Instead of spending dozens of costly sessions exploring the way you feel about your marital problems, you can be using your time much more constructively by following the strategies a coach will be able to teach you. Exploring your feelings will help you get in touch with your inner self, but when you're finished, you still won't know how to go about fixing what's wrong in your marriage.

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A marriage coach won't give you the answers, because the situation in each marriage is unique, but he will provide you with the tools to help you find them yourself. Even if your spouse isn't willing to participate in the sessions, you can learn ways to put life back into your relationship all on your own. You won't feel alone, however, because your coach will be behind you giving you support every step of the way. He also isn't going to promote you're getting a divorce unless he ascertains that there's absolutely no hope of getting the marriage back onto solid ground which may be the case in abusive relationships or those involving one partner have an affair.

As you can see, there is an alternative to marriage counseling that is far more effective. You can even get a free 30-minute session so that you can see what the coach has to offer before you pay for anything. If you're serious when you say, "Save my marriage", there's no time like the present to get busy doing just that.

Now Listen Carefully-

Take 2 minutes to visit the next page and you'll discover a stunning trick which will make your spouse love you for the rest of their lives even if they are this close to walking out the door. Yes, you can indeed save your marriage no matter how hopeless the situation seems. Take the right step now and live to enjoy a blissful marriage. I strongly urge you to visit the next page- Click Here

Author's Bio: 

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Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

Do you have a unique situation? Discuss your marriage problems on our forum. We can help you find a great loving relationship! Go to: RelationshipTalkForum.com