My Husband Snaps At Me All The Time: My Husband Yells At Me All The Time

If you are dealing with a VERBALLY abuse spouse you need to memorize the words of the First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt, ""No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." Wow! Such power in these words. As long as you don't let those caustic, nasty, and poisonous remarks get into your head there is NOTHING that your spouse can do to you.

The problem is that they are experts on just this; how to have THEIR words penetrate into YOUR mind and control you. More often than not, they repeat these same degrading things to you over and over. Even if your self esteem is strong, these words can creep in and slowly tear you down if you allow them to.

In this article I'm going to show 3 innovative things that you can easily do in order to build a protective and non-penetrating wall around yourself so that their words won't hurt you.

1. Sit up front at meetings and speak up. It's very interesting to realize that our inner feelings are directly effected by our physical actions. When we act like we have self confidence, the self confidence follows. When we act like a wimp or pushover, we are pushed over.

Therefore, when you go to a meeting don't sit in the back of the room. Make a conscious effort to sit in one of the front rows. It will be hard in the beginning but little by little you will convince yourself that YOU are worth something. When you feel that way your spouse will pick up on it and the difference will be tremendous.

You need to remember that your spouse only talks to you the way he does to try to make himself feel better. He/She has a low self esteem problem himself that he is not willing to deal with. It is easier to bring someone else down than to work on fixing yourself.

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2.Action cures fear. The fear of something usually is there only until you begin to do something about it. When you take the first step to cure a problem the fear usually begins to dissipate. This is true of diving off a high diving board, public speaking, and telling your controlling spouse, "No". Don't dwell too long on what you want to do, just do it. Like the bully syndrome, people only bully when you don't stand up for yourself. If you show that you will not be bullied, they will back down.

3. Remember that another person is exactly what you are, a person. When I was growing up my mother loved listening to a radio talk back show by someone called Jack Comley (it was too boring for us kids to listen to him). He had a wicked sharp tongue. There is one thing I remember my mother told me that he said. He was asked how he could speak so sharply to other people. He said he used to also have problems with this but then he would just picture the other person standing in front of him in his under wear and all his fear disappeared into thin air.

This is a common practice used by many today. You need to believe that you have something worth listening to, and just remember that no one is better than you. We are all people and we all have things we are not strong with. By acting, and just doing something regardless of fear, you will soon find the fear has disappeared and you will be stronger in spirit for doing it.

If you have a controlling spouse the best way to deal with it is to build yourself up. Wherever you can, act as if you already have self confidence, don't just think about what to do but actually commit to doing something. Always remember that they aren't much different than you.

After doing these 3 simple things you will build a protective force field around yourself so their words will have no effect on you. They can only have power if you give it to them. By building yourself up and staying strong, you are keeping that power within yourself.

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Respect is an important part of a marriage. In fact, it ranks right up there with love. But some people love their spouse without respecting them. This will make staying married very difficult. That's why it is important to know how to add respect to your marriage.

The truth is it isn't right to make someone respect you. They should respect you because you have earned it and because they want to. Your spouse should have already shown you their respect when they married you.

1. Respect each other verbally. Don't talk down to one another or use an opportunity to belittle your spouse. Take every opportunity you can to tell them how nice they look, how beautiful or handsome they are, etc. People like to know they are appreciated. Respect their feelings enough to let them know.

When you compliment your spouse you are letting them know you respect them. It is a small token of how much you care for them. It is also a good way to build respect for yourself. As they see more of your love in your comments and your actions, it builds their devotion and admiration for you, as well.

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2. Respect them for their abilities. If they are intelligent, let them know. If your partner is good at solving problems, then let them in on situations where you could use their help. If they are good with money, then ask them to help with the budget instead of trying to take it all on by yourself.

Letting them flex their muscle, so to speak, in areas where they shine builds their self-worth. It also naturally takes a load off of you when they take on responsibilities they can handle well. When this happens, both sides get to win. If the other person has a talent, use it. This will allow you to respect them for their abilities.

3. Respect them in a physical sense. This means more than intimacy, although that is also a good example. When you respect one another completely, you won't feel like holding back your intimacy.

Physical also means other things, too. It means the man taking out the trash without being asked. It means the first one to get home starts dinner so it will be ready when their spouse walks in. It means taking charge of your children so your spouse can get their work done, loading the dishwasher before you run out of dishes, or picking up in the bathroom before your partner has to.

Give respect in your marriage and you will get respect given back to you.

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One of the best ways to make your husband happy is to laugh a lot. There is nothing worse for a husband than to be greeted by a miserable face when he comes home from work.

Before you can be happy for your husband though, you have to feel happy inside yourself. So it's important to understand and know yourself in order to create a happy and contented home for you and your husband.

In order for you to be happy you have to enjoy the things you're doing in your life. Work and children can take over but it's essential you create 'you' time and develop your creative side. By making time to keep your hobbies alive you'll be happier inside and it will show.

Be affectionate. There is nothing like a cuddle or a kiss to eliminate the day's woes from your husband's mind. If he knows he's coming home to a loving wife and children it will cement the marriage.Keep yourself clean and attractive. Don't let family or tiredness take away your dignity and your self esteem. Try to keep yourself looking at the very best you can so that your husband will want to be with you and can't wait to come home.

After years of marriage this is not always easy, but it really can be achieved.

Always keep the home clean and make it a haven from the rest of the world. Keep the decor light and airy and have flowers displayed around the rooms to make them welcoming. If you can't always afford fresh flowers, then use artificial ones and perhaps decorate them with greenery from the garden.

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Take time and trouble over preparing the evening meal. A pizza is all right occasionally, but it's hardly a romantic meal. You can plan in advance and perhaps prepare several dishes at the weekend in order to save you the time when you get home from work or from picking up the children. Think the meals through and try to choose things you know he particularly likes.

Sitting eating together is important in any marriage, as you can talk over the day's events and laugh or cry together. Talking things over and laughing at things together can make even the bad events of the day more tolerable. Laughter is very definitely the best medicine.

Sometimes it's good to give your husband space and quiet. He doesn't necessarily want to hear lots of girlie gossip, save that for your friends. Silence can be a sign of affection in that you are aware of his need for solitude and quiet. Respect that and leave him to relax.

When you go out together don't make him feel embarrassed because you are talking too loud and don't relate private things to others.

Compliment him and let him know you appreciate how hard he works for you and your family. Don't nag him about things he hasn't done, rather mention in a subtle way and let him end up thinking he's remembered it himself. A simple thing no doubt, but a good way to make your husband happy.

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a. SAs you surely know, more than a half of all marriages end in divorce. So, do you want to become another statistic, or do you want to save your marriage? I know you want to save your marriage. How do you do it? I was in the same situation - I saw my marriage crumbling before my eyes and my spouse getting away from me each passing day, and I had no idea what to do.

So what did I do? I wanted to stop my divorce. So I begged him. When that didn't work, I begged harder. When that too didn't work also, I acted like I didn't care. Since acting like I cared didn't work, the opposite had to work to save my marriage, right? But no. It, too, didn't work.

Fast forward to today. I have saved my marriage. Not only that, but we have also fallen in love with each other again, and we're better than we were even in our honeymoon!

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Be somewhat absent. Marriages get troubled because the couple sees each other constantly. And never forget this basic, basic law of the universe: "If something is accessible to you, you desire it less." Simple as that. When you go out for the day and come only at night, for example, you are suddenly less accessible to your spouse. Which will make you more attractive to him or her, believe it or not!

Utter the word 'divorce'. For a married person, whether or not he or she wants to end that marriage, the word divorce is scary. Do you want to save your marriage? Then do this: Think if your spouse has ever uttered the divorce word to you. If he or she hasn't, it's very much probable that he or she thinks about it but is actually afraid of the idea. So you do a pre-emptive strike and say the word to him or her now!! More often than not this will scare your spouse and get him or her back to you!

These are some of the tips I used on how to save a marriage successfully.

Now Listen Carefully-

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Sometimes we have to save a marriage from ourselves. There might come a time when we, for whatever reason, we may be unfaithful. This is when we have to think harder about how to save our marriage.

Once your unfaithfulness has been brought out in the open, whether from discovery by your spouse or by your own confession, be ready to deal with some extremely powerful emotions. Nothing is more devastating to a marriage than infidelity. There are many issues that strain your relationship, money, in laws, raising a family, but nothing comes close to the foundation shaking results of an affair.

You are, more than likely, feeling guilt, shame, and remorse. Remember, your spouse is feeling those feelings and more. Betrayal does unimaginable damage to the one who has been betrayed. Getting that trust back may take a very long time.

The first thing you have to do is ask for forgiveness. Say, 'I'm sorry' and mean it. Then you have to forgive yourself. That does not mean that you make excuses for what you did. Unfaithfulness is wrong, accept responsibility for your actions. Forgiving yourself involves realizing that you were wrong and knowing that you can do better. Then resolve to never hurt your spouse and family again. It is up to you to choose to do the right thing from now on.

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Now, the difficult task of earning your spouse's trust once again. Coming home from work on time for a whole week will not deem you trustworthy to your spouse again. Trust will only be restored with time and your ability to show yourself trustworthy consistently.

Most affairs happen because the 'other' person gave you the attention you felt you were not getting from your spouse. It is important that you do not blame your spouse for your unfaithfulness. During the stages of first discovery is not the time for you to think about your own feelings. You can discuss those with your spouse when the dust has settled.

During the healing process for your spouse, remember to just love them. You may have to do this from a distance. Do not try to overcompensate for your unfaithfulness by smothering your spouse. Give them the space they need, while still reassuring them that you do love them and want to save your marriage. When your spouse is ready, they will move closer to you. Be patient.

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Author's Bio: 

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Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

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