no contact rule, contacting an ex, contact your ex boyfriend
Written by Clay Andrews
If you’ve decided to use the No Contact Rule, you probably already know how difficult it can be. Fighting off those urges to pick up the phone and call your ex boyfriend can be extremely difficult.
But sooner or later, you start to feel better. Those feelings of desperation seem to die down and you start to get your life and your emotions back under control.
Life seems to go on and you’re just fine.
But what if you still want to get back together with your ex boyfriend, or at least just keep in touch with him moving forward?
First, though it’s important to know the difference between “needing” and “wanting” something. If you need to get your ex boyfriend back you’ll probably make a lot of those irrational moves that many people (*cough* like me) made during their initial break up.
If you want to get back together, however, you’ll be coming at the situation from the standpoint that your life is 100% okay just the way it is, but having him back would just be a nice thing to have.
Basically, your life should be a delicious cake and your boyfriend should be the icing on top of it. Don’t rely on him to be the cake of your life.
When you feel like you’re at this point, emotionally (and you’re not just kidding yourself), then you are ready to break No Contact. For most people about one month is good, but depending on how you broke up and how long your relationship was, you might need to continue for longer.
When you’re ready to contact him, simply pick up the phone and call him up. Tell him that it’s been a while since the two of you talked and that you were just curious how he’s been. This is simple and straightforward. No need for any mind games or other sneaky stuff. The more honest you can be the better.
Depending on how much drama was involved in the break up, you have to be willing to face the possibility that he may not be ready to talk to you just yet. I know this probably isn’t the reaction you want, but you can’t let it get to you.
Just let it go and try again maybe a week later. We all heal at our own paces and it might take him longer to get over the pain of the break up.
Article author
About the Author
Further reading
Further Reading
Article
A Look at Avoidant Attachment Styles and How They Work
The early development of avoidant attachment creates a coping mechanism that forms in childhood. Disconnected parent-child interactions typically trigger this condition. People who develop this attachment style learn to depend on their resources. They avoid deep emotional connections. People with this attachment style want intimacy, yet they remain afraid of becoming dependent on others. Understanding Avoidant Attachment Among the four primary attachment styles, avoidant atta
February 6, 2025
Article
Dr. Venus Nicolino: You Have To Make Yourself Available To Find Good Relationships
The idea of making yourself more desirable by making yourself less available doesn't make a lot of sense when you think about it. After all, Juliet would have plunged a premature dagger into the heart of her romance with Romeo if she hid in her room rather than go out on her balcony. The end of Sleepless in Seattle shifts from "awww" to "aw, no" if one of the two main characters skips the trip to the Empire State Building. As these examples from fiction show, making yourself
August 16, 2024
Article
Unspoken Moves: 5 Ways Women Drive Men Wild Without Saying a Word
Whеn it comеs to attraction, actions oftеn spеak loudеr than words. Womеn havе a uniquе ability to captivatе and еnticе mеn without uttеring a singlе syllablе. Whеthеr it's a subtlе glancе or a playful touch, thеsе nonvеrbal cuеs can crеatе an undеniablе chеmistry that words alonе could nеvеr convеy. In this articlе, wе'll еxplorе fivе unspokеn movеs that womеn usе to drivе mеn wild, tapping into thе powеr of body languagе, еyе
August 10, 2024