No Physical Relationship With Husband: No Physical Relationship In Marriage

If you're living in a sexless marriage then chances are that you've thought about getting out. Just because your marriage is without sex doesn't mean that it's loveless, this is a common problem when people start to associate sex with love. Even though there is little or no sex in a relationship doesn't mean that there is no love. Out of 100 marriages, 17 couples with have problems with a sexless marriage, but these problems can be fixed.

Many people choose divorce over resolving this problem, but that's all it is "a problem", if couples start considering divorce as a resolution to a sexless marriage, it's a fair assumption that people will progress to get divorced because their wife burned their dinner or that their husband left the toilet seat up.

A problem like this one which is addressed and cured between married couples will strengthen the relationship. Finding the root problem is the hard part, the reason for this problem could go back a couple of years or it could just be a few months.

You may have already tried to talk to your partner about this and felt like you were banging your head against a brick wall. Maybe you weren't asking the right questions! Simply asking them "why don't you want sex with me anymore" isn't going to get you anywhere, as I said, the reasons may go back a long way, your partner may have even forgotten the original reasons. This is why you need to talk and try to find the main reason for living in a marriage which is sexless first, not the cure.

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I could baffle you with causes and statistics but that wouldn't necessarily be relevant to your specific situation as every sexless marriage is different.

Some people deal with a sexless marriage in middle age but this problem is not defined by age, sexless marriages can affect people of all ages and all walks of life but the good news is that they can be resolved.

There is a lot of information on the internet about this problem, be sure that you get the right information. One thing you need to be aware of - this is a problem which can be cured, so long as you are willing to make the effort. Too many people turn their back on their partner because they think that there is no hope, curing this problem can make your relationship stronger - are you really willing to walk away and take that risk?

If you're living in a sexless marriage it really if important that you get the help that you need before things escalate. Many think that there is no way to fix a marriage with this kind of problem and seem to think that it would be easier to walk away from the relationship than to fix it.

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Unlike fairy-tales, many marriages do not have happy endings. Married life is not always a bed of roses, and things often don't work exactly as it planned. When things seem to spin out of control, couples often must make compromises, change ways or negotiate rather than let things simply fall apart. Marriage is a beautiful transition that happens in a person's life where one learns to be more responsible for his/her own life and as well as that of his or her spouse. However, most of the time, people are too preoccupied with their impatient and immature attitudes that they forget to realize the importance of keeping that fire burning in their married lives. Here are some of the common problems that married couples encounter:

Lack of efficient communication strategies. The holy sacrament of matrimony symbolizes the union of two individuals into one. This idealistic union is also very much susceptible to many difficulties and dilemmas. As a couple, both parties should decide to establish open lines of communities filled with nothing but love, truth and honesty. This is a good avenue for couples to share their worries, concerns and expectations. Choose an interesting topic for discussion. Plan a time for hearty conservations every day; it might be during dinner, before going to bed or maybe before TV time. Solve your marital problems as soon as you can, and don't wait for them to develop into big issues.

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Lack for flair in romance. Although there are many researches who say that financial problems are often the root cause of marital breakdowns, lack of trust, infidelity, and sexual problems also rank at the top of the list. Sexual problems at their worst may even lead to divorce. Intimacy is a very crucial factor in keeping your marriage alive. Sex is not only for pleasure but the act also binds married couples closer together. Romance is a need between both partners. It serves as the one thing that can spice up married life and bring back the sparkle on your partner's eyes. There are plenty of ways in which you can romance your partner- sexual intimacy, care, affection, simple dinner dates, flowers, presents, chocolates and so much more. A married life is considered good as dead when there is no romance behind it.

Financial issues. A money problem is something that many experience even before they tie the knot. Make sure you don't let those financial problems get in the way of your marriage. Money is one of the common causes of a strained married life. After exchanging those wedding vows, married couples are often bombarded with financial issues. Many couples find themselves blaming one another for their financial instabilities. Deal with money matters wisely and not in an aggressive manner.

Different interests. Among top problems in married life is the lack of common interests between spouses. The key to a successful and blissful marriage is understanding each other's wants and needs and satisfying each one of them. Try to focus more on the similar things that make your relationship stronger.

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Approximately three weeks ago I talked to a lady who did not have money to buy food. She was not a street person, or someone who wasted her life. She was an educated person who worked hard. But through no fault of her own she faced a difficult financial situation. Perhaps you have noticed this is becoming more and more a reality in our present economic situation.

As you would expect financial problems can place great stress on a marriage. When a couple goes through a financial storm there is a tendency to blame one another. When this happens like a hurricane tearing apart a boat a financial storm can destroy your marriage.

But I have good news for you. You can go through a financial storm, and come out on the other side with a stronger marriage. Let me share with you three things you can do to make a stronger marriage during a financial storm. These three steps are not always easy to put into action. But it can be done.

First, make an honest assessment of your finances.

It is so easy to become angry during a financial storm. It is easy to point the gun of anger at your spouse, and pull the trigger. "If you would have searched for a better job then we would not be in this mess. If you would have not used our savings to go on your hunting trip then our situation would be a lot better."

The important thing is not to blame each other, but to make an honest assessment of your financial situation. Look carefully to determine if there are areas in which you have been over spending. If you are over spending in an area then take responsibility for your actions. Don't blame your spouse for the things they cannot control.

Recently a man in my church lost his job. It was not his fault. He was a hard worker, and an excellent manager. It was simply the economy. It would be a terrible thing for him and his wife to start blaming one another. During a financial storm. You and your spouse need to support one another rather than destroy one another.

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Second, determine what you can cut back on.

Now this is the mistake most people make. When they find themselves in a financial storm they keep trying to live at the same economic level. They do this by going into debt. They then find themselves in a worst condition. And when this happens they experience a greater level of stress.

The key is to make changes in your budget as quickly as possible. You don't know how long you will be in a financial storm. The sooner you make the changes in your budget the sooner you can preserve your money. I am not saying do away with everything fun in your life. But together as a couple make a strong assessment what you can reduce or take out of your budget.

I have friend who is now going through a financial storm. He loves to read. But when he saw the storm coming he cut back immediately on buying books. He bought one book per month. When the storm got worse he cut back to one book per quarter. He also cut back on his visits to Starbucks.

Third, learn how to raise extra cash.

Now this might surprise you. There may be money in your house. No, I am not talking about taking out a second mortgage. But most people have things they are no longer using in their closet, basement, shed, or barn. You can sell those things and make money.

Where do you sell these things? I am glad you asked. Let me give you a short list.- eBay, yard sells, Greg's list, and flee markets. What you do not sell you can then give away to the Salvation Army or Goodwill. And what you give away you can ask for a receipt and take a tax deduction.

I know a family that has gone through a financial storm. During the summer the whole family works together by staging several yard sells. They make around $200 on a Saturday between 8 am to 2 pm. That may not sound like a lot of money. But when you are struggling to pay your bills, $200 a month can make a big difference.

Conclusion

The most important thing is to draw close to Jesus through personal Bible reading and prayer. And do not neglect listening to the preaching of God's Word on Sunday morning. If you are both growing strong in Christ Jesus then you can help each other stay strong.

But there's something else you can do to help your spouse. You can help each other by talking gently, openly, and honestly with one another about your finances. You can help each other by letting each other know this important fact. No matter how rough the sea may get you will be there for your spouse.

Within time the storm will disappear. The clouds will roll away. Once again the sun will appear. And you will discover that your marriage is stronger rather than weaker. By God's grace and help the storm will not destroy your marriage. It will only made your marriage stronger.

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I come across many wives who are exasperated with their husbands after a conversation has gone awry. Being unable to identify the cause of discrepancy, the conclusion they usually come up with is that no matter what they say to their husbands, it will be taken the wrong way. It is easy to blame the boss, the children, the in-laws, the hired help and of course the spouse. The truth is that the biggest barrier between you and a productive conversations with your husband is not that which is set up by another person; the one piece that has everything else tumbling down is actually your own tongue and your limiting language.

Your every action begins with your thought and if your language albeit in your head is a limiting one then your actions will be direly affected as a result, as your thoughts determine your purpose and the consequent approach you take on in a matter.

If a wife tells herself that her husband is a thoughtful person but he tends to overlook the most obvious clues then she is gearing herself to disbelieve either one clause of her statement. Any statement that has a, 'but' in it negates either the phrase before or after it. This does not mean that the statement on its own is incorrect; just that the focus on the contradiction held together by the 'but' imposes an air of doubt over the positivity of the statement.

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The thoughts define a purpose and the action based on the same purpose. Practically speaking, a wife who approaches her husband with a contradictory statement running in the back of her mind will already be on the offensive before getting a response or reaction from him, as she's anticipated the worst.

The best way to understand the importance of language in a relationship would be to examine the flip side of a given situation. Imagine if you were to speak to yourself in absolute statements: 1) My husband is a great listener. 2) He gets tired these days from work. Just by eliminating the contradiction you consciously recognize both statements to be true and give them the equal amount of weight.

This is all what a marriage really requires: an equal chance for positive thoughts to exist in a person's mind, just as often as negative ones do. Our thoughts define our purpose and our positive thoughts mean our actions are positive and we are already geared to take the outcome with a smile, knowing that we put our best foot forward in the given situation.

Drop the 'but' and give your spouse his due credit. Yes he is a very thoughtful person and yes he is weighed down with work presently. Take each sentence to mean the truth in its most absolute form and stop yourself each time you begin to contradict yourself, even in your thoughts. The words running in your mind are responsible for your behavior towards your spouse and as they remain devoid of contradiction, so will your approach. Your smile will be unrestrained, the way you speak with him will be free of inhibitions and most importantly, your positivity will evoke a positive response!

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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