During my years of coaching, I find that most women are afraid to say NO! This stems from a deep belief of not “enoughness”. I’m not good enough, I’m not worthy enough, I don’t do enough, I’m not important enough, I’m not… you get the idea. All of this leads to increased stress, over commitment and a general lack of self care.

Stop in the name of Love! You are important, you are good enough and you do deserve more happiness and joy.

This sense of not enough contributes to a deeply held fear of others not liking who we really are, if they only knew the truth. Therefore, women tend to over compensate and over extend themselves to make up for their perceived lack. I urge you to live from a place of personal authenticity and universal wholeness. I want you to know that you are a good person even if you say no to someone.

In my own pursuit of happiness I discovered the power of NO! When asked to do something, go somewhere, volunteer for some worthy cause, drive, bake, baby-sit or any other task, please consider the following very carefully.

First let me share with you some research to convince you. Happy people are volunteers and understand about contribution. In October 2006, researchers at the National Institute of Health’s Cognitive Neuroscience Section presented a neurological basis for the greater levels of contentment associated with acts of kindness or altruism versus acts of self-gratification.

Now that we understand it is beneficial to be kind and altruistic let me bang the velvet hammer! If you over extend yourself you are not performing an act of service, you are being a martyr at your own expense. And did you know that this can actually cause a decrease in your immunity to colds and flu’s. Sick-time becomes the only time you give yourself a break and rest.

According to Quantum Physics everything is energy; every thought and action sends a vibration out into the ether and creates a corresponding returning vibration.

So if you are “volunteering” with a smile on the outside while filled with resentment, anger or guilt on the inside, you are creating a very negative wave of energy. You are literally poisoning the quantum field, contributing to a sea of negativity and polluting the Universe. Drawing to yourself more anger, guilt and resentment and wondering why you don’t feel good.

You are enough! You are a valuable and necessary part of this mosaic of humanity. Love yourself enough to say NO! You are enough just as you are and making excellent decisions that shape your world. Release any judgment or self-criticism; you cannot be all things to all people. You can be true to yourself, your values and your inner needs. Life unfolds its wonderful opportunities before you and you can select from them with excitement and delight.

Hence NO is a complete sentence. You can say no and you do not need to offer any excuse. Choose your activities carefully and with thought.

• What gets you really juiced?
• What feeds your soul’s desires?
• Where do you feel your unique gifts and talents are most appreciated and needed?

When you say yes to a request of any kind, make sure that you will be in the right state of mind, fully present and enjoying the moment. This is your life and your happiness depends on your mindset.

As you give from this sense of your own completeness, you will reap the rewards!

Happiness, health and vitality will be yours. Greater and greater good will be your experience.

Gracefully and peacefully say yes to what matters and NO to the rest. This is the sure road to happiness!

Author's Bio: 

As Canada's leading happiness expert, Elizabeth has worked throughout Western Canada with educators, entrepreneurs, seniors, and people from all walks of life. She learned how to create happiness after spending 20 years in Corporate Canada leading sales initiatives, management roles & customer service training. Today, Elizabeth is the founder of MetaMind Consulting. She shares practical tools, solid research and mood boosting techniques, bringing smiles, contentment and prosperity into the lives of others. She prides herself on banishing your inner grouch and enhancing your greatness. Elizabeth has a black belt in the martial arts and is not afraid to use it in the name of happiness!