When you are considering a divorce it seems that all you can think about is what's going to happen if you stay or if you go. You are plagued with an un-ending supply of "what if " You are unhappy with the way things are and you wish things were the way they were when you first fell in love.

When your in the considering stage of divorce this is the time that you need to truly evaluate what the real problem is. In most cases, so much has been said and done to bring you to this point that you can barely remember what started it all.

Divorce is a life changing experience that can not be taken lightly. So please, for your own sake determine what the real problem is and then seek out any possible solutions, such as counseling or maybe some time apart etc. There has been many marriages that could have been saved with a simple sincere "I'm sorry".

The primary reason divorce affects people so greatly is the uncertainty the future holds for them. Divorce affects all aspects of your life. Not knowing what is going to happen, what the outcome will be or even the possible repercussions, can create huge amounts of anxiety. Even the definition of anxiety, tells you that your mind, due to a lack of information creates undo stress and fear.

The definition of anxiety is - "an abnormal and overwhelming sense of apprehension and fear often marked by physiological signs caused by doubt concerning the reality and nature of the threat, and by self-doubt about one's capacity to cope with it".

A simple example would be, you drop something into a hole. It's also to dark to see into the hole. You are naturally apprehensive about sticking your hand inside so you decide to shine a light into the hole. Since you are now able to see you feel there's nothing to fear. You no longer have an issue with reaching into the hole thus the anxiety has sub-sided.

Dealing with any obstacle in life is the same way. Once you shed some light (knowledge) on the darkness your anxiety starts to go away. Do yourself a favor, when faced with life's obstacles (such as divorce) take time to research, learn, and face the darkness with no fear or apprehension.

The smart way to get rid of your divorce anxiety is to arm yourself with as much knowledge as you can about this subject of your concern. The more you know the greater your confidence, which in turn eases your anxiety. This gives you the ability to think more clearly instead of reacting emotionally and making poor choices. With better understanding you may find that divorce really wasn't what you wanted.

If divorce has already happened to you then you already know overcoming divorce sometimes feels like an impossible task. Let me assure you, it may be easy for some and extremely difficult for others but in all instances recovery will come.

If you were recently divorced or still struggling with being divorced, the first thing you need to do is stop focusing on all that was lost. It doesn't matter if it was material, emotional or just plain security of being married. STOP!

Now is the time to start looking forward. You now have the opportunity to completely make over your entire life. Start working on that wish list, such as new friends, new material things, new job, hobbies you always wanted to do, places you always wanted to go etc.

You have a clean slate to design a whole new you on. Stop dwelling on what could have been and start making what will be.

No matter what you think or what you've been told, you DO deserve the very best out of life and its high time you achieved it. Get out there and start setting some goals AND reaching them. You CAN do it, YOU just have to decide that you can and will.

Author's Bio: 

Smith Barlay has a wild passion of IT, especially IT Certifications, IT Exams, Internet, Searchengine Optimization techniques and Social Media.