Observation and Awareness: The Keys to Understanding Why Your Relationships Fail
Written by Doron Gil, Ph.D.
Are you fed up from blind-dates which lead you nowhere? Meeting the wrong people on dating sites? Experiencing disappointing relationships? If so, the time may have come for you to sit back and contemplate what’s going on and what to do next.
The best way for you to use this time is to develop your Self-Awareness: to understand what made you fail in your relationships until now, and how to change it. As you develop awareness you’ll be able to understand how you have sabotaged your relationships until now.
Having gained such understanding, you can then choose effective ways to cultivating a healthy and intimate relationship.
OBSERVING AND BECOMING AWARE ARE THE KEYS TO UNDERSTANDING WHY YOUR RELATIONSHIPS FAIL
Example: Jennifer
After yet another relationship which ended with separation, Jennifer decided it is time to understand, once and for all, what makes her fail time and again.
Following a friend’s advice she decided that the next time she has a relationship she’ll keep a detailed diary about everything she observes and notices.
And indeed, upon meeting Dan she began to carefully note down in her diary everything she observed in herself: her thoughts, feelings, needs and fears. She decided to try and understand how all these are expressed in her reactions and behaviors with Dan. She was determined to see whether these reactions and behaviors were also expressed in her previous relationships.
The more she observed, the more she realized what drove her to think, react and behave the way she did with her partners: fears and needs she had, messages she internalized about how things “should be”, unrealistic fantasies and expectations she held on to. Having gained this understanding enabled her to take the necessary steps to change, hoping to finally be able to find and cultivate a successful relationship.
EXPLANATION:
When you – like Jennifer - observe yourself, ask questions and process the information, you expand your awareness: you get to know and understand yourself better, realize the ways in which you unconsciously sabotaged your relationships until now, and become able to take the necessary steps to change.
Article author
About the Author
Dr. Gil is the author of “The Self-Awareness Guide to a Successful Intimate Relationship: Understanding Why You Fail in Your Relationships Over and Over Again and Learning How to Stop it!” Available as eBook and paperback:
http://www.amazon.com/Self-Awareness-Guide-Successful-Intimate-Relationship/dp/143925141X/
Doron Gil, Ph.D., is a university teacher, workshop leader, counselor and consultant, specialized in the interplay betwee
Self-Awareness and Relationships. He has taught this subject to thousands of students, and trained physicians, managers, school teachers and parents on how to develop Self-Awareness in order to improve their personal and professional skills.
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