On Sexual Desire and Monasticism

Question: My son has just begun in the last few weeks to study to learn enlightenment. He has the book A Course in Miracles and Eckhart Tolle's Book (CD) that I gave him. He studies your books and others from libraries...my question... rnA week ago he left on a bus to go out west as he felt overwhelmed here where he grew up. His plan was to isolate himself from distraction and try to find the oneness. He is doing quite well but when I spoke to him he had a question I could not give a decent answer to. He seems to be having an issue with his sexuality, his desires for the ladies he is encountering. He is 26. His question had started as a relationship question, but he then narrowed down his confusion about wanting gratification. rnWhat can I tell him, or where can he find an answer? Is there a specific chapter in a specific book that may help him see what he is going through and how to deal with this? Answer: rnThis is not so much a question that has a straightforward answer as it is a case where your son needs to come to his own understanding of how to integrate his sexual desires and his spiritual quest. He’s a 26 year old man, it’s perfectly natural for him to be sexually attracted to women. So there is nothing wrong with that. He has decided to isolate himself from others to give himself an environment that won’t distract him from his spiritual goal. And there is nothing wrong with that impulse either. But now that these two desires are arising simultaneously, there is a conflict. rnBeneath this conflict there is a simple mode of being within him, a creative natural expression of who he is that has nothing to do with the conditioning and expectations that these two opposing impulses represent. What he needs to do is find that inner path that isn’t dictated by his sexual desires nor his concepts of spiritual ideals. Neither of those two options is necessarily in his spiritual best interests. If he were to resist his sexual instincts out of principle, he may be missing the greatest spiritual opportunity of his life. If he abandons his spiritual commitment just because it’s hard to resist temptation, then he also may be passing up a wonderful spiritual breakthrough. There is no way to figure this out intellectually or based on set principles. He needs to go within and find that thread of truth inside himself that exists independent of all these divergent tendencies. When you claim that truth as your Self, your Being, then you act from a position of freedom and authenticity, and in the knowingness that the action you take is exactly what you need at that time. rnLove,rnDeepak