Overcoming Loneliness after Getting Divorced
Written by Christy Oconnor
No matter what the circumstances might be, getting divorced is a very difficult and traumatic time for women—some more than others. It is always a difficult time for women, especially if they were not prepared for the dissolution of their marriage. Quite often women are in the dark and think everything is going fine until their spouse hits them with the bombshell: I want a divorce. The saying that the wife is always the last to know doesn't always mean an affair but relates to any part of the marriage that is not going right for the husband.
There are many challenges women face during and after getting a divorce. They are not ones that are impossible but rather just challenges that require some re-evaluation and analysis in order to develop a new social model. Some of the challenges women are likely to face during the process of getting divorced include the following:
• Changes in the circle of friends, especially those that are still happily married and those who were friends with both the husband and wife
• Rearranging work schedule to accommodate the needs of the children, especially is the former spouse used to help in this area
• Fear over re-entering the dating scene and not knowing what to expect
• Finding a reliable babysitter in order to allow for meeting new friends and resuming dating
• Responsibility for making choices alone that you used to make with your spouse
• Complete responsibility for protecting yourself and your children
• Return to school and/or work for those who chose to be stay-at-home moms during the course of their marriage
• Arranging holidays and birthdays to allow you and your spouse to have time with the childrenr
While there are many more challenges women face after getting divorced, these are the most common ones. The main thing is that a woman has to learn to live life completely different, and sometimes that isn't easy. It becomes even more challenging if they have shared friends, especially on an individual level because it could create a rift in the marriage of the friends if there are conflicting stories concerning the breakup of the marriage.
One thing to remember when you are getting divorced is not to put the children in the middle of it. You are divorcing one another, not the children. Always do those things that are in the best interest of the children even if it means celebrating some holidays with your former spouse in the beginning.
Another very important thing women who are getting divorced need to do is have their own divorce lawyer. Sometimes the soon-to-be ex-spouse will offer to pay for the divorce under the conditions you use HIS lawyer, but remember, you want someone who is on your side, and if your husband has an ethical lawyer he will refuse to represent both of you. Even if the two of you have worked out an agreement, it will be necessary to have a lawyer to be sure the settlement is fair and equitable for both of you.
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