Pain and Comfort

So very few go beyond questioning the source of their unhappiness and discontent. For the most part, we remain satisfied with philosophizing and playing in the intellectual realm, never looking at what change really means. We stress, we complain, we try something new for a while and then we go back to stressing and complaining. Whatever change does take place it does so at a superficial level and each time we fall back we get down on ourselves, we give up on living, or seeking simply becomes a habit where we go from one place to the next. Real change is difficult not only in understanding it but in the actual letting go of what needs to go. The moment we tread on its waters, we realize that we don’t want or aren’t ready for it. What keeps us back? What is so difficult in simply letting go of the things that bring us pain? n Is it the pain that keeps us back or is it the comfort? We are one being are we not? A system holds us together and moves us through life. That system is thought. Each of our thought systems may differ from one or the other, as do our lives, yet it is the thinking in all of us that guides us not only exte
ally but internally as well. What carries our consciousness into self-reflection and self-knowledge? What is that which interprets our feelings and emotions? What is that with which we make decisions? What is that which leads to our actions and reactions? Isn’t it thought that does all that? Therefore this whole complex system pregnant with past emotions, conclusions and overall conditioning, makes or filters our life. Isn’t it through thought that we reach anger, jealousy and resentment? Isn’t it through thought that we get depressed, bitter or hopeless? Sometimes we see this as being the case. Our thoughts lead to our unhappiness. So we try to change our thoughts of anger, resentment and so on and so forth. What we fail to see, however, is that the thoughts that led to painful emotions are not independent of themselves. They are merely the branches of our whole system of thought. It is the core that gave birth to them. Something about our thinking leads us through a life of pain and struggle. It is inevitable. Do you see the pattern of up and down in your own life? Do you see how from an early age stressful and painful emotions have always been present in your life in one form or another? n The problem is that through this same system of thought that is bound to bring us pain we have formed our lives. Because through this consciousness life seemed so hectic, lonely and uncertain, we have searched for security, as it is only natural. We have become quite attached to this security, have we not? Are we not attached to the security of a long relationship? Are we not attached to the security of our job? Are we not attached to the security our intellect and knowledge provide? Are we not attached to the security of the established pattern in our lives? Security is comfort, is it not? Therefore even though our lives are troubled by stress and struggle, there is also a level of comfort present through its various forms. Given that without this comfort, without this security in our lives, life would seem vulnerable and chaotic, it is a normal reaction to become attached to this comfort. Yet what happens in this process of attachment? The moment we become attached, a level of our consciousness becomes closed off to awareness, since awareness poses a danger to what gives the comfort. Is this not the reason why we are blind to the emptiness of our relationships and the meaninglessness of our jobs and lives? Is this not the reason why we are blind to that which always carries us into pain and suffering? How can we be aware of it since it is the same thing that carries us into our security and comfort? To question the source of pain in a relationship is to question the whole relationship. To question the source of stress in our lives is to question our jobs and our activities. To question our anger and anxiety is to question who we are. All of these questions pose a possible risk to the foundation of security which has been built and with which we have become comfortable. This is the reason why stress has become such an epidemic. We struggle with it or endure it, but never let go of that which causes it, since we dare not look upon it. This is the reason why anger, frustration, jealousy and resentment have become common parts of a relationship. We struggle with them, cope with them, but never question their meaning, for that is to question the foundation of the relationship. Instead of asking what is anger, we get lost in the consciousness of ‘why you made me angry’, ‘how you made me angry’ and so on and so forth. We battle with our lives at the superficial level so that we don’t uncover that which we stand upon. Is this not the reason why our lives always contain some form of stress and struggle? If we questioned our consciousness, we would question the foundation of our lives. n As long as we remain attached to the comfort in our lives, our questions can never reveal what is beyond the superficial. As long as we are afraid of losing control, pain and suffering will always be the price of security.